Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
So I was texting my fiance's ex girlfriend today. They had two losses together and today she was really upset. She has had issues with suicide since her first loss 2 and a half years ago.
This is what I told her:
"I know it hurts. It hurts emotionally and sometimes it hurts physically too... It hurts you because you love them and miss them. We would all be happy if they were here. Things would be easier for us. But you know what? They are all happy and playing together- all five of our daughter are happy. Haley is playing dress up with her sister and half-sisters. They are thankful that we sacrificed so much and dealt with all this hurt to give them someone to play with. You gotta remember that they love you just as much as you love them. They want you to live a happy life for them. They want you to experience life to the fullest, be happy and die an old age- so when you finally go see them you can tell them lots of stories about you and the life you lived. Those stories- you write them here on Earth for your girls. You never got to tuck them in and read to them- so now these stories you are writing with how you live and look at things are going to replace the fairy tales you never got to tell. Each day is a new page, and you have to keep writing until you get to the happy ending they want for you. Make these stories matter, make them full of happiness, and fun and give them a happy ending after you have lived a long life. Do that for your girls, even though it is hard and it hurts."
After going back and reading what I had sent- it put me in a different state of mind. I know we've been told your babies don't want you to be sad, they want you to be happy... Well, this is WHY they would want us to be happy. This is WHY we have to keep going. This is WHY we are still MOTHERS, whether we have children with us physically or not. Every day- whether our children are here with us or not, we are doing something for our children. So do something good for them. Don't write them a story of pain and suffering- write them a story of HOPE and LOVE. Give them the happy ending they want to hear after hearing of all your adventures.
This is what I told her:
"I know it hurts. It hurts emotionally and sometimes it hurts physically too... It hurts you because you love them and miss them. We would all be happy if they were here. Things would be easier for us. But you know what? They are all happy and playing together- all five of our daughter are happy. Haley is playing dress up with her sister and half-sisters. They are thankful that we sacrificed so much and dealt with all this hurt to give them someone to play with. You gotta remember that they love you just as much as you love them. They want you to live a happy life for them. They want you to experience life to the fullest, be happy and die an old age- so when you finally go see them you can tell them lots of stories about you and the life you lived. Those stories- you write them here on Earth for your girls. You never got to tuck them in and read to them- so now these stories you are writing with how you live and look at things are going to replace the fairy tales you never got to tell. Each day is a new page, and you have to keep writing until you get to the happy ending they want for you. Make these stories matter, make them full of happiness, and fun and give them a happy ending after you have lived a long life. Do that for your girls, even though it is hard and it hurts."
After going back and reading what I had sent- it put me in a different state of mind. I know we've been told your babies don't want you to be sad, they want you to be happy... Well, this is WHY they would want us to be happy. This is WHY we have to keep going. This is WHY we are still MOTHERS, whether we have children with us physically or not. Every day- whether our children are here with us or not, we are doing something for our children. So do something good for them. Don't write them a story of pain and suffering- write them a story of HOPE and LOVE. Give them the happy ending they want to hear after hearing of all your adventures.
ash17
Very inspirational. Thanks for sharing this.
deleted_user
Very nice. Glad to see you can offer comfort to your fiances ex. That is difficult for a lot of people, but shows how strong and goodhearted woman you are. God bless and thanks for sharing this. You wrote it beautifully
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