Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
Hi yall..... I want to start off with this long and TMI post saying thank you for taking time to read it.
Ok.... 9 years ago I started dating my husband after moving in together year 3 we started ttc. After we got married the next year we sought obgyn help who sent me to a specialies in my area. She stated I have pcos and with the hypothyroid it is impossible for me to conceive on my own. Fast forward to this year. I have had the WORST year in history of years. I lost my mother in law and a good high school friend in jan both to cancer, my sister in law and husbands uncle in February. Then my great uncle in the spring. Along with all that I was dealing with life issues and starting back to college in my late 20's for nursing. In October we had a renter move out our rental place and leave us with $6000 worth of damage so much stress from that we drained our savings account n maxed two credit cards and drained. I had my firat anxiety attacks cause of this. Well dealing with all this put a nudge in my marriage also lets add in I work 3 part time jobs.
December 4th was 9 years me and my husband had been together and 4 years since my grandma went to be with our lord. I woke up realized I had started what I though was my period so I put a pad on and went to grocery store. Longer I spent at asore I noticed my back started killing me and so did my stomach. I figured this was just sever cramps. I got home and told hubby and I layed on our hard wood floors after taking 3 advils. My back started to ease off. So I got in bed I was resting as I was due to work my 2nd job 6pm-12am. As I got comfy in the bed I felt wet down there, I though yep this is going to be a bad period. So I got up ran to bathroom and no sooner then I sat down the blood started gushing this is 1:30ish pm. I decided after some of the bleeding eased up I would hop in shower so I done that I was in shower and the clots started gushing out (sry TMI) and they wouldnt stop. It looked like a murder sceen I was in shower for a good 40 mins telling hubby in a calm voice call my mom. at one point I picked up a blueish colored what I though was a clot but later learned it was the baby and placenta and put it in a zip lock bag, I had my husband get me. I knew what it was, but for the sanity of my husband I didnt let him know what it is. I finally got out of shower, called obgyn they had me come right in looked at me and told me I have lost too much blood, I need to go to er. they called to let them know I was coming but while I got dressed my mom got there and was in bathroom with me add I was bleeding so bad I couldn't get up. doc came in and tells me what I had in my bag was the placenta and he was sorry but I was having a miscarriage and I was only 3weeks I lost it and so did mom, I didn't let hubby go to dr worth me but mom called him to merry us at er.. I get to er and they rush me in and start working with me it took till 8pm to stop bleeding. I had to vaginaly deliver everything else with drs help. I was in shock, too shocked to shed a tear. I got pregnant natural, on the table in front of me was my baby in a bag. Sat there starring at the bag and praying god noooo.
As of today im mentally not stable I made it through finals in my classes and passed idk how. I go to work my jobs and come home and lay in bed im dreading christmas and I love christmas. I loved the baby even though I didnt know I was carrying it I loved it cause its mine. I have had a rough time accepting this. I cry randomly, babies crying is hard for me
My family dont know what to say to make me feel better. I honestly dont think any thing can make it better. I live in yoga pants now too. One thing I can say about this is im a mommy to a angel and this had brought me and my husband closer, so close we are actually sharing covers and cuddling which we havent done neither in years.
I feel so alone I know im not alone but dealing with all the after affects now ( I lost so much blood im facing a blood transfusion) I have so much grief and anger why me lord why why cant it be the women that are not deserving?????
Ok.... 9 years ago I started dating my husband after moving in together year 3 we started ttc. After we got married the next year we sought obgyn help who sent me to a specialies in my area. She stated I have pcos and with the hypothyroid it is impossible for me to conceive on my own. Fast forward to this year. I have had the WORST year in history of years. I lost my mother in law and a good high school friend in jan both to cancer, my sister in law and husbands uncle in February. Then my great uncle in the spring. Along with all that I was dealing with life issues and starting back to college in my late 20's for nursing. In October we had a renter move out our rental place and leave us with $6000 worth of damage so much stress from that we drained our savings account n maxed two credit cards and drained. I had my firat anxiety attacks cause of this. Well dealing with all this put a nudge in my marriage also lets add in I work 3 part time jobs.
December 4th was 9 years me and my husband had been together and 4 years since my grandma went to be with our lord. I woke up realized I had started what I though was my period so I put a pad on and went to grocery store. Longer I spent at asore I noticed my back started killing me and so did my stomach. I figured this was just sever cramps. I got home and told hubby and I layed on our hard wood floors after taking 3 advils. My back started to ease off. So I got in bed I was resting as I was due to work my 2nd job 6pm-12am. As I got comfy in the bed I felt wet down there, I though yep this is going to be a bad period. So I got up ran to bathroom and no sooner then I sat down the blood started gushing this is 1:30ish pm. I decided after some of the bleeding eased up I would hop in shower so I done that I was in shower and the clots started gushing out (sry TMI) and they wouldnt stop. It looked like a murder sceen I was in shower for a good 40 mins telling hubby in a calm voice call my mom. at one point I picked up a blueish colored what I though was a clot but later learned it was the baby and placenta and put it in a zip lock bag, I had my husband get me. I knew what it was, but for the sanity of my husband I didnt let him know what it is. I finally got out of shower, called obgyn they had me come right in looked at me and told me I have lost too much blood, I need to go to er. they called to let them know I was coming but while I got dressed my mom got there and was in bathroom with me add I was bleeding so bad I couldn't get up. doc came in and tells me what I had in my bag was the placenta and he was sorry but I was having a miscarriage and I was only 3weeks I lost it and so did mom, I didn't let hubby go to dr worth me but mom called him to merry us at er.. I get to er and they rush me in and start working with me it took till 8pm to stop bleeding. I had to vaginaly deliver everything else with drs help. I was in shock, too shocked to shed a tear. I got pregnant natural, on the table in front of me was my baby in a bag. Sat there starring at the bag and praying god noooo.
As of today im mentally not stable I made it through finals in my classes and passed idk how. I go to work my jobs and come home and lay in bed im dreading christmas and I love christmas. I loved the baby even though I didnt know I was carrying it I loved it cause its mine. I have had a rough time accepting this. I cry randomly, babies crying is hard for me
My family dont know what to say to make me feel better. I honestly dont think any thing can make it better. I live in yoga pants now too. One thing I can say about this is im a mommy to a angel and this had brought me and my husband closer, so close we are actually sharing covers and cuddling which we havent done neither in years.
I feel so alone I know im not alone but dealing with all the after affects now ( I lost so much blood im facing a blood transfusion) I have so much grief and anger why me lord why why cant it be the women that are not deserving?????
Afterwards I felt like my body betrayed me and I was so sickened by myself and felt like I wasn't a woman because I can't even do the most natural thing as to have a baby. We have a lot of crazy thoughts to try to make it all make sense honey. You didn't kill your baby. It wasn't anyone's fault. You are a strong brave woman. I am here if you ever wanna talk.
http://www.rememberingourbabies.net/
It's not easy. I stayed in bed for weeks crying. I just didn't want to live. I found this site and saw it helped to talk to women who could relate. I also started counseling outside on my own.
The best advice is to allow yourself to feel your emotions. I suggest journaling as it also helps you vent when you don't feel like sharing with anyone. I am so sorry sweety... Please just take it a day at a time. That's all I do. I'm trying to get stronger and healight still. I'm here if you ever need a friend to talk to. God bless.