Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
So after waiting two weeks after my D&C the doctor called me with the results of the tests they ran on tissue. She told me that it came back saying that my baby was missing a chromosome which is why it couldn't develop past where it did. Has that been the reason for anyone else? She then went on to just brush it off saying that is the most common reason for miscarriages and pretty much made me so sad that I couldn't get off the phone fast enough. She just went on and on about how common it was and that more blood work needs to be done and she referred me to an infertility doctor. She also went on the tell me that if I wanted to keep trying I could because they don't know what causes this.
Why would I keep trying after having two miscarriages with in 5 months? So I could feel this grief again? I don't understand why some people can just be so callas about something like this? I have lost 2 children and this is the advise I get from a professional doctor? Keep trying and see a specialist? Uhh, I am just so sad and depressed right now.
Why would I keep trying after having two miscarriages with in 5 months? So I could feel this grief again? I don't understand why some people can just be so callas about something like this? I have lost 2 children and this is the advise I get from a professional doctor? Keep trying and see a specialist? Uhh, I am just so sad and depressed right now.
I cant even go back to my specialist because of the cold way I was treated so I totally understand how you feel. I am so sorry that the doctors attitude added to your pain and trauma.
If you ever need to talk I am here. My prayers and thoughts are with you!
Re the chromosome stuff, we had karyotyping done on both myself and DP which revealed DP was carrying a balanced translocation.
The chromosomal reasons are something like 60-70% of all mc, apparently, it IS really common. In our case, there are 2 chromosomes affected so I'm not sure what the possibilities are for a healthy live child (for us). In 3 pregnancies and a probable chemical pg, its not happened.
Trying again after mc is such a personal thing. My mc in 09 I couldn't face the thought of going through all this again and it took best part of a year before we ttc. Got utd and mc again, although this time I was expecting it, although still devastated, and more convinced something was wrong. And this time I was chomping at the bit to ttc (although 2 months of retained product stopped that) Karyotyped 3 months ago, and finding out this was the reason did help me a lot with the grief, it has to be said.
My doctors all consistently told me not to ttc (when apparently I should be) 'just in case' something was wrong. But the fertility specialist we saw 3 months ago told us that he would have advised us to ttc at any point up until the translocation was found. Doctors can be so inconsistent, and not always necessarily right, and not always (often!) quite insensitive (during a mc procedure - I was awake - the 3rd doc I had seen that day walking in, introducing herself, and asking how many children I had! erm excuse me, read my notes first! thats one of many 'anecdotes'!!)
I hope I have not been insensitive in this post (I've reread it twice and it seems ok to me) although I know its been more about me than you . . . putting this in though for comparison. It is a hard road to walk I know, and I think you are doing the right thing not ttc and dealing with your grief first. I hope all goes ok with the fertility doctor you see
The tests done after my d&c a few weeks ago came back inconclusive - and, as I've said before to you - we are in the same boat (2 miscarriages in 5 months) My doctor is so compassionate and really positive about me having a successful pregnancy in the future. Have you considered switching doctors?? I know how hopeless it feels - like you are never going to have a successful pregnancy and your own baby. It is truly a horrible feeling and no one should ever have to experience 1 miscarriage let alone 2. Have you thought about going to a support group in person?? When I had my surgery, they gave me info on a support group at the hospital that meets once a month and my husband and are attending next week. My thoughts are with you and I'm praying that are able to find and grab onto some hope to get you through this difficult time.
I'm afraid I can relate to this one all too well. I've had 2 miscarriages in 5 months too, and had testing on both. Both were XO (which means missing one of the sex chromosomes). There are lots of reason babies don't make it; genetic problems, infections, and problems in the mom (anatomical, clotting issues, thyroid issues, etc).
Of the genetic causes, XO is the most common. I assume that's the abnormality your doctor was talking about. It's caused by either the egg or the sperm missing a chromosome. A VERY small number of babies with this mutation survive and then they have what is called Turner Syndrome. Fortunately, it explains why we have the loss and means that there is nothing wrong with us or our partners and nothing we could have done to prevent it. Unfortunately, that means there isn't much we can do to prevent it next time.
Since I had 2 that were both the same thing (XO), they thought maybe I actually had some underlying genetic thing. Apparently having it once is normal, but twice makes it super rare. Weird, I know. Makes no sense. Anyway, they tested me and all was normal with my genes so they're basically telling us it's bad luck and keep trying.
I think for now you need to just grieve, allow your body to heal and process this horrible experience. I'm not sure what other advice you could have gotten - though perhaps the delivery could have been a little more sensitive. We've pretty much gotten the same advice. We're planning to see the fertility specialist, but I don't think they're going to be able to add much to the discussion.