I am new here but I joined it because of this reason. I went to my 18 week appointment on 2/20 and we found out that our dear son no longer had a heartbeat.

This is our 4th loss (our first three were in the first trimester and they were in between my two living boys.) I honestly don't know how to get through it-it's been almost a month and some days I don't think I can go on much more.

I did find some comfort in the nationalshare.org website-they also have a group on facebook for parents who have lost a child, whether miscarriage, stillbirth or anytime.

God bless you.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Pukabeans. Thank you for sharing the link. I had gone to my 18wk appointment and everything seemed fine... then a week and a half later I miscarried. Since you had other losses did your doctors do anything different with each pregnancy to monitor you?

I have had three different ob/gyns. WIth our first everything was perfect. I had a m/c in Sept 2007 but it was early and then another in May of 2008. After that one I went to my regular doctor and she said she would do some testing for me as a peace of mind. Everything came back fine but my period was like an 80 day cycle. Then they were wonky for a little while. Then I got a positive test in March of 2009 (I believe I was 9 weeks because my period in feb was really light and only two days.) I miscarried March 17 2009 but was okay because I knew it was going to end (my betas were going down).

My dear husband and I decided we were okay with just one child so it wasn't until Nov 2010 we decided we did want one more. I went to a new doc in Jan 2011 and she did testing but everything was great. We got pregnant in Feb 2011 and she tested my progesterone and betas to make sure everything was on track. I told her I would rather know that my levels are not rising or not doubling than to just wait and see based on my history. That's when we found out that my progesterone was low. After I had my son, I had some issues with my doc (she said maybe I should be done having children and acted like I should be hospitalized in a mental institution due to my post partum depression.)

We got our surprise BFP in Nov. I was so happy but also nervous. I had a feeling this was going to end badly. I went to the new doc who did testing, got me three beta's, said if my progesterone was low again we would definitely do meds. I also had to do an early glucose test because my sugars were on the higher end of normal. Thankfully that was fine but she wanted me to do an earlier 3 hour. We saw the little heartbeat at 8w6, heard it at 13 weeks, saw it at our elective u/s on 16w3d. Found out he was a boy.

Went to my 18w scan and she couldn't find it. I went to my follow up on Tuesday and she said that even though all the blood work came back fine (we are still waiting on the chromosome tests) she would start me on baby aspirin as she feels there is something that is causing these issues even if we can't pinpoint it. I will also be considered high risk because of the 2nd trimester loss.

What kills me is that I asked the nurse if the cord was wrapped around him and she said no but it was kinked in some spots and thin in others. I felt like this pregnancy I should take baby aspirin but I didn't because the doctor didn't recommend it. I will regret that until the day I die. The baby aspirin may not have made a difference but I will never know.

Sorry this was so long-I wanted to let you know my story. I don't honestly know if we will try again-I feel like our odds are not good (2 out of 6 babies are living.) Maybe we are tempting fate to try again? I do believe God wants me to be a mom of 3 living babies but I don't know if I can handle the pain again.

I'm pretty sure you commented on my post, so I think you know I lost my daughter at 17 weeks. I got through it, very simply, because I had to. There is no alternative.

I tried to look at the good that came from this loss. Although it's mostly devastating, it can always be worse. I got to hold her and look at her. Take her in, look for the nose, see if it looked more like mine or my husband's. Look at her hands and feet to see how tiny and cute they were. I lost my baby because it was the first time we made it to the second trimester and sadly, we didn't know that I had a weak cervix. There was nothing wrong with the baby, it was my cervix that let go which caused this loss. My water broke and there was nothing to be done.

I focus on the fact that my husband and I made this little girl and although we didn't get to keep her, we got to see and hold her. We also got to bury her. Which has helped heal me immensely. I go to the cemetery to visit once a week. We put her in the miscarriage/infant/stillborn section so she's with the other babies and that makes me and my husband feel at ease. That we are not the first and won't be the last people this happens to.

In my other losses, there was fear and anger and emergency surgery and blood transfusions. This time there was knowledge, preparation and calm. I am grateful for the nurses and my doctors who cried with us when I delivered Emma. I am a trained graphic designer, but I left my job which was stressful and I'm now volunteering at a miscarriage support group in my area. In addition, I'm seeing a therapist who specializes in loss. She's my sounding board and I will most likely study to become a social worker because of this.

There's only so many times this can happen to a person before you realize the universe is telling you to do something more meaningful with your life.

So that's the longwinded story of how I'm getting through it. Because there is no alternative, because it could have been worse, because of the amazing people around me, because I got to hold my daughter before letting her go and because I know there are others going through the exact same thing that aren't in as good a place that need help.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my first baby girl at 18wk my water broke as well, this happened in Dec. 2012. I know how you are feeling. It is still so hard to get through what had happened.
I still haven't gotten through it and I know it's going to get even harder when my due date comes in May. My doctor told me I had PPROM ( Preterm Premature Rapture of Membrane).
I cried every day and night for weeks and I still do.
I am so sorry I don't have anything how to help you I thought maybe sharing my story with you will let you know that you are not the only one who went through it. Because when it happened to me I felt alone.

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. I cry every day. Some days it's just a few tears, other days I cry so much I feel I can't breathe. I know we will get through it. Everyone here is so brave.

I ppromed at 21 weeks and held on for another almost 3..Delivered at 24 weeks but my daughter didn't completely come out. Her head got stuck in my cervix and decapitated. I know there is a great support group on FB for pprom. Its hard to believe that it is quite a common thing and you aren't really safe after the 12 week check up. I went in at 20 weeks because I hadn't felt her kick at all and this was my 2nd pregnancy. They said everything was fine!! Anyhow just letting you know that you aren't alone hun. I know it's hard and hugs to you:( I agree with bellah5 " I got through it, very simply, because I had to. There is no alternative." That's how I feel. Just know there is lots of love and support all around. xoxox

Thank you for sharing your story, Cookiepooh4u. I'm sorry for your loss. I'll have to learn more about pprom. I don't know much about it. It was challenging to have a loss at 19 wks. We survived the first trimester. We just had the scan and everything was ok the week before. So we started feeling slightly more comfortable. I had just bought my first things for my little girl, a couple little outfits. I guess we will have to carry on. Hugs to you.