Sun 12th,

I told simon i was keeping the baby no matter what nothing is going to change my mind if i have to be with out him i will. Later that day i went to the toilet and i had brown blood like i normally have at the end of my period. I started to panic and cry i called simon up stairs and showed him the sheet of toilet paper.Simon flung his arms around me and said i knew somthing like this was going to happen. I said i dont know what to do simon im so worried.Still sobbing i grabbed my mobile phone and called my friend samantha who had already had 2 pregnancys. I told her what had happened and she assured me that it happened with both of her babys and it was just old blood not to worry unless it was red. For the rest of the day after i had explained what sam had told me he was being really horrible trying to up set me and it worked.I was crying most of the day and everytime i did i would feel a pain in my belly. That night we went to bed and cuddled for what was going to be our last night togther because i was going home on monday.


monday 13th aug

I woke up and turned to simon i told him that i had a bad dream that i was in a shop and started bleeding and a stillborn baby came out of me. Simon thought i was being stupid. I got up and started to pack my things ready to go home. I started to feel deep cramps in my belly and rushed to the toilet. In my knikers was more brown blood i went into simon and told him about it and insisted on him looking too.Simon said that it was more red rather than brown. This started to panic me and i was getting more and more upset.Simon got ready for work and left at 130pm. I went to the toilet again and now red blood was coming out i was so worried. i called my mum not knowing what else to do and because she could not give me any answers i sort of lost my temper and spoke horrible to her before hanging up.I then recieved a call off my midwife she asked me a bunch of questions and infromed me that the only scan avalible for me to attened was not till wed the 15th. After speaking to her i could feel more blood coming out i called my mother again and she said that i have to go to hospital. I got simon home and he drove me to the hospital.

I had only time to stuff my knikers with toilet paper and had no sanitory towels. I asked the nurse for one after she had taken my temp and blood pressure. I went into the toliet and pulled down my knickers on the toilet paper there was some skin like tissue i prayed it was not my baby and everything was going to be alright. I was than taken to a ward where they aparently had a bed for me. Simon and I sat in this sort for tv room for hours untill and doctour came to see me. We were taken into a room with a bed i was to lie down and have her touch my stomoch she said that she was going to have to examine me internaly. Simon decided to wait outside. I took off my trousers and knickers and layed on the bed. Another woman arrived and pulled a lamp over to my vagina. I got told to put my hands under my bum and the doc put a plastic sort of beak inside me and used tissue to mop away any blood. she said that she couldnt tell if i had passed the baby or if i am going to pass the baby. Which begs the reason why she bothered interfering up there. I had my blood taken and told to come back for my scan on wed. When i got home i started to have pains again i went to the toilet and after a wee i looked in the tissue from wipein and there was again more tissue like in the hospital but this time it had a yellowish white blob on it too about the size of a bake bean. I started crying yet again.Simon told me to stop looking at it and put it in the toilet so i did after another 30mins or so. I still have my scan due on wed which is tomorrow i really want everything to be ok. i am so worried that when i get there the moment i have been looking forward to, to see my baby on screen with its heart beating is going to just be a empty screen of nothing.