It's sad to say but most people just don't think of anything but themselves. I wish it was different I wish people knew, especially at times like this, that even daily conversation about babies can bring us to tears. Hang in there!

I'm sorry that the conversation was hurtful for you. It's so frustrating to hear time after time "something was probably wrong with the baby" and to participate in everyday conversations. I think it's hard for others to understand how we must be feeling when we're engaged in conversations about babies.

It annoys me too when people act like its a good thing you miscarried, b/c there was "probably something wrong with the baby." Dont people understand that knowing there was probably something wrong makes you feel even worse. As for your friend I'm sure she didnt mean to hurt you. sometime's it's difficult for people to stay in moarning over a loss like this as long as you do. keep your chin up (:

I'm sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry you had to go through the exp at the park. I can't imagine dealing with someone close to me being pregnant.

I'm sure your friend didn't mean to hurt you. I just think for other people it's not at the forefront of their mind, like it is for us. I think we see everything through a pair of "m/c glasses". But for other people, even those closest to us, it's not like that.
But I know what they say is still hurtful. My mother dragged me to see a chinese acupuncture/herbalist dr last week. And when he found out I lost my son, he told me the Chinese would say I was lucky, to lose an unsuccessful pregnancy. Thinking about it now, it makes me so angry.
Why do people think it makes us feel better to say there was something wrong w/ our babies? And why do they not acknowledge that they are our babies. I hate terms like "unsuccessful pregnancy", "non-viable pregnancy", or even "miscarriage". We lost our BABY, not a fetus, not just a pregnancy.
Sorry, I've gotten off on my own rant.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I hope you feel better knowing you can come to the group to talk about anything, and everything, and that the people here understand.

I don't believe your friend purposefully meant to hurt you. She probably just got caught up in with the other lady talking to her that she wasn't thinking. And that's understandable. I think we have all done that at some point in our lives. Go easy on her. I agree with mommyto4 what she said about our pain not being at the forefront of their mind like it is with us. If she's been a good friend through all of this, then I know she still loves you and didn't mean to hurt you. Both my best friends are pregnant and they are excited which they should be and I try to seperate my sorrow from their happiness because they have every right to be excited and happy about their pregnancy. But I know that is still hurts when they are excitedly talking about it. But I try not to hold against them. Hope this helps and I totally understand what your going through. I just don't want you to end your friendship over this because it was probably not intentional. Were all here for you:)

Thanks so much for the support. This support group has been my crutch. While I am hirt by my friend's conversation, I would never stop being friends with her. I could never have understood the pain that this could cause a person until it happened to me. I just really wish that people would be more considerate. It was not a ftus to me, but a baby. The dr's called it a fetal pole, they told me I was going for an ultra sound to check for a viable pregnancy. After they found out that the baby was not alive, they said that I had a failed pregnancy and the fetal pole no longer had a heart beat! How about, I'm so sorry, your baby passed away. Is that too much to ask?

I know exactly how you feel. People have conversations about how lucky they are that they've had healthy pregnancies right in front of me. People are so wrapped up in their little world's that they never think about how it can hurt us.

My closest of friends have told me that it's for the best that I miscarried and they can't seem to understand how painful that is to me.

Just be strong and learn how to walk away when people begin hurtful conversations. I just get up and go do something else because the pain is unbearable. Don't be afraid to change the subject either, most people get the point when I do it.

Just remember that we are all in this together!

I think her 'baby brain' took over for a bit there. Try not to hold it against her. It sounds like she just got caught up in the conversation.