Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
We lost our baby last week when I was 11 weeks pregnant. This was my second miscarriage, although we do have a healthy two year old boy. The first miscarriage was very early, and I know that this time around my husband has been having a particularly hard time with it. Because I have been feeling so bad he has had to do the majority of the child care/household duties, and I worry that he hasn't had any time to deal with it because he can't take care of himself. I don't want to keep asking him how he is doing because I know that men don't like to talk things out the same way that women do, but is there anything else I can do to help him, I wonder?
deleted_user
Such a difficult time. Tell him you love him and give him a smile if you can muster it. Snuggle with him in bed. It may help.
deleted_user
Thanking him. I know as wives , for the most part, we tend to do a lot of the work in the home and thank yous come few and far between, but when my husband goes out of his way to take care of everyone, I have to say thank you. Lately he has been doing a lot because of my anxiety, even though he says he doesn't do much, I tell him thank you for doing the little things that i would normally do. I am glad he is able to help you now. A thank you and even a card, as I have done, blesses our husbands too. Hope you are both feeling better
deleted_user
My husband has been such a great support, especially directly after when I was still really depressed and confused. A few days after the miscarriage I could tell that if he didn't let off steam soon there were going to be two of us not being able to take care of ourselves. One night I told him that I was going to go for a long walk to enjoy the night air and talk to my mom. He told me that would be great because he needed to get upset, but he felt like he couldn't get upset around me without feeling like he would make things worse. After about an hour or so he called me and said that he was going to go for a drive so I could come home. The next morning he told me that just having the time alone helped him a lot. He could scream, hit a pillow and cry without having to talk about his feelings. He still has his moments but I noticed a good change once I gave him the opportunity to be by himself.
deleted_user
esperando, Thanks so very much for that. You hit the nail on the head. endowomen I feel the same way. I am going thru my 4th miscarriage this week. It gets harder and harder emotionally for my husband. He will rarely talk about it cause he so afraid to get me upset. I dont push and give him space. I do give him little touches Kisses and Thank Yous and tell him I so could not do this without him. He eventually will come to me with short and sweet as he did Tuesday mornong after us talking about the doctors visit Monday we were waiting and he said I know you think I am a hard A#@ and dont show much on this emotionally he said but it does bother me and I just want you to be OK He said he thinks we may need to take a break as this is the 2nd loss in a 9 month period. I told him that would be fine. He said he would rather wait and see what can be done as to what is going on. The Thank yous and giving him his time to think and vent cause guys do deal with hurt alot different than we do. Hope you feel better soon.
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