I have to say, that I have not been there, my husband has been wonderful, but grief does crazy things to people. And it sounds like he is having a very hard time with this, especially to suggest that its your fault, which by the way, its NOT! I hope he comes around, until then, maybe just give him some space to get through some of his grief to realize he loves and misses you. I can't imagine how painful this is for you though. Praying for you.

Thank you so much Sunnysmom... It is very hard for me right now. I have great support from friends, but the most important person is not around.
I am giving him the space, and just letting him be, I know how much he wanted this baby... this is our second miscarriage. First one he was there all the way, but this time around, he has been very different. I am not sure we will make it thru this. I am going away for a couple weeks to be with family, maybe it will help me, and give him time. Cynthia

Some people shut down when faced with a difficult emotional situation. I do think it is important that you both get together and talk. It was not your fault. It may be good to have him talk to your doctor or to a grief counselor. Hang in there.

Thanks Julesx. I have tried contacting him on Monday, he didnt really want to talk, so I left it at that. I dont think I should push this now. If he needs time, he needs time, he knows how much I love him, and want to work this out...
I woke up today feeling really lousy. I dont know if all the dreams I been having, the lack of hunger, the bleeding, or my fiancee still not calling or contacting me. This is very hard, I feel horrible.

Yes, I have been in exactly the same position as you, although it was 7 years ago now. See my post for more details. I also had an early miscarriage and I know this to be probably because of some chromosome abnormality and it is very common. Basically your body is doing it's job by rejecting something that would not have made a full baby, so I hope that helps.

In my case I was doing a martial art when I found out I was pregnant so I immediately went to the doctor and asked if it was safe for me to continue this and he said of course. I even asked my martial arts instructor who informed me that his own wife had continued training throughout all four of her pregnancies.

anyway, it just happened coincidentally that I had my miscarriage the morning after a martial arts session. My sister took me to the hospital as I was at her house at the time. When I got back to see my boyfriend he called me a murderer. I found out then that you can stop loving someone in one second flat!

You say he blames you for the miscarriage...in what way exactly? What has he said to you about it?

anyway, i'm not saying your partner has been cruel on purpose, like mine was, but men have very little empathy when it comes to things like that. Even the wonderful man I am with now thinks that PMS is 'all in my head' .

Anyway, I came on here for some help myself but I felt compelled to write to you as I have been in a similar position. At the end of the day I would give him time to come round, unless of course he has gotten nasty, like my ex did, then I would not put up with it. However if it is just a case of him sulking and being unable to support you due to his gender then I would wait and be patient for him to come round. Good luck.

Thank you so much for sharing, it gives hope to know that you have been there, and made it thru to a better life. In my case, I am starting to accept that fact that we may not make it thru this and be a couple again. I dont want to go thru life with a man who cant be there during the rough situations. The loss of this baby has been very difficult for me.

I'm very sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, people grieve differently and some are not able to really deal with their emotions. I'm glad you're going to be with family and you're also receiving support from your friends. Lean on those who are there to support you right now. I know it's hard to not have your fiance around but if he is not in a supportive place he could really damage your emotional state.

Stay strong and I hope everything works out for you.

I'm so sorry for your losses, but I have to say I havent been in the exact situation you are but similar. Ever since I miscarried my boyfriend didnt want to talk about it or try and make me feel better when thats the one thing I needed most. Ultimately I gave him time and he did come around. Hopefully your fiancee is just grieving as we all grieve differently, just give him some time. As for you saying its your fault, its NOT! I hope things get better for you. Praying for you

Thank you Courtney and jgrissom. I am struggling really badly right now. My fiancee is being very resistant. I just tried talking to him again, and he is refusing to.... something is going on with him more than just grief. He is an ex addict, I think he may have done something this week. He went from being so loving, caring and there, to transforming into this man I dont know.... this is hard. :-(

I am so sorry for you losses. I am also sorry your partner is not there helping you through the grieving process. By no means was the m/c your fault and do not believe that for a second! It is obvious your partner is upset about the loss but to make you feel as if it was your fault is just plain selfish and wrong! I hope you are able to find support on this website. It has helped so much these past few weeks. Also when you do go and visit family, seek all of the support you can get. Sending hugs and prayers your way!

No one should be blamed for a miscarriage. But unfortunately all blame is on women, as we carry children. I had a mc in August. I lost my baby on 7th month. I blame myself... There is a thought somewhere in my brain that it wasn't my fault. But I feel guilt. I just feel it and I can't do anything about it...