I feel the same way. Alot of people kept telling me that it was god's plan for us. I think it is a pretty cruel plan. To give me twins after IVF and then take them one at a time. I am sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I have had so many people tell me things like that as well and it absolutely does not do anything but make us feel worse. I agree that m/c is just something bad that happens. I went through a lot of introspection after my second miscarriage and wondered what God was planning for me (I got to thinking that way based on other peoples comments). After several weeks of torturing myself, I finally decided that this is just something bad that happens sometimes to good people.
Thats the conclusion I came to, and it sounds like thats where you are as well. It is still really frustating when people say it to you. I think people just say what comes to their mind, or they don't know what to say and just ramble. I would rather people just say nothing! I am here if you need to talk/vent.

First of all I want to say how sorry I am for your loss. I lost my baby 2 months ago as well. I will not inforce my opinion, but the way I deal with my loss is knowing that God does know what He is doing, and for some reason we have all went through loosing our babies for a reason. We will never forget the pain, but I want to grow from it. I feel like I have another angel in Heaven waiting for me,and one day I will meet her. I can't say that I know how you feel, but God does. It is ok to be angry with Him. Things always work the way He wants them to, and I have to beleive that. I hope that you are ok,and I do understand the pain I went through. I never walked in your shoes,so I am not juding you. I hope I haven't offended you. I am here if you need to talk.

I've heard that too and, speaking as a Christian, I personally think it's a load of fertilizer. This was never part of God's original plan for any of us. I DO believe that God will take our pain and suffering and this ugliness and He will USE it to bring something good. How? Well, look at how we're able to reach out to each other and to the new members of the group. Because of what we've had to go through we are able to help each other through our time of grieving. Sad to say but before I lost Angel, I took so much, including the fragility of life, even life itself, for granted. I don't anymore. But to say that God would plan the deaths of our babies...oh no...not in this world. An even sadder reality is that things happen in life that are many times beyond our understanding and when we can't figure it out or if it's beyond our control we try to reason or explain it away. Sometimes it is better if nothing is said. I am so sorry for your loss, honey. Sending you hugz and prayers.

I'm sorry you had to go through this. I got that and many other "lines". I finally turned the tables and said " why would you say such a horrible thing?" It always shut them up

I will pretty much be seconding what others have said, but it was really brought home to me in a book I read..."The Shack". In this particular book, which is the true story of a man whose young dtr. was brutally murdered, it pointed out, among other things, that God doesn't cause the bad to happen, but He can make good come out of it. After 19 yrs of infertility, it is really baffling to me how and why I got pregnant only to lose the baby at 19.5 wks. Is there ANYTHING that can be said to take away the hurt? NO Just time and God's healing in my life. I just try to be patient with others and know that they mean well. Mostly, they want to help, but have no idea what to say or do. I know how they feel in this, because prior to my m/c, I had no idea the pain it brings. Like others, I just never really considered the hurt and loss others felt from this tragedy. Mind you I have my good days and my bad, but I try so hard not to let others comments upset me (especially.."It was probably for the best!") I do well enough upsetting myself!! :-)) Hugs and prayers are being sent your way!

I agree with you I have heard it all, "it was gods plan" "it wasn't meant to be" and so on and so forth. I have alot of faith and anger issues right now and I hate when people tell me that.

I think people don't know what to say, so they say things that aren't very helpful. I agree with others that having a miscarriage does make you more emphathetic to others going thru the same thing.

Yeah, totally understand how you feel about drug addicts having babies left and right. I found out that this very problematic teenager is having a baby, and it made me so angry; I know that this baby is going to be a carbon copy of it's mother...and that's not a good thing. Maybe that's not nice to say, but it doesn't seem fair sometimes. You do have the right to say "please stop, you aren't helping me by saying that." Take care.

I know how you feel Dracona some people just say some hurtful things i had my co worker say to me would you rather your child turn out like this (meaning a disabeld child) or have your baby taken before it suffers.

thanks for all the comments so far, i was hoping i didnt offend anyone but i see alot of people feel the same way. its hard, all my friends are pregnat or giving birth, everyone i know just about, except me. not to sound immature, but its just not fair!!

i feel the same way...if this is gods plan ihate to see what he has in store for me next..i understand that people are trying to make me feel better but it doesnt work