Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
With both of my misscarriages, no one knew b/c we were not planning to tell anyone until the end of our first trimester. Unfortunantly, we didnt make it that far w/ both of our pregnancies. Its good and bad we didnt tell anyone. So we dont have any children and all of our married friends are starting to have families. and my mom is dropping hints about us having a baby. She doesnt know about the misscarriages, and I feel this is something right now I only feel comfortable sharing w/ God, husband and women who share in the same experience. I know my mom doesnt mean any harm, but its hurtful that she thinks I can just snap my fingers and be pregnant. Learning from this, if I am fortunate to have a daughter someday I will never pressure her into having children. You never know why a couple may not have children. Its a personal and sensative issue. I want a baby as much as my mom want grandchildren but I'm hurting from the fact that I'm having trouble carrying a baby. This pressure is not good in my misscarriage healing process:(
I'm so sorry for your losses. I just had a miscarriage two weeks ago and I know there are no words that can take that pain away.
I just told my husband on Friday that I finally reached a place when I can say I'm thankful because as painful as it is, our baby was a precious gift from God that gave us so much joy and hope for the future.
I'm 34. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years and yes, the questions have come over and over again about babies.It's hard, but I just tell people that we are working on it. If they keep prying, as some people just can't take a hint, I'm honest. I tell them we have been having a hard time, but we are hopeful and still trying. This shuts people up.
Of course you have to handle things in a way that is suitable for you. This is very personal and private. Do you think you could trust your mother enough to tell her you are having a hard time conceiving and that it's too painful to discuss? This might get her off your back, but you know her and have to use your judgement.
We hadn't reached the end of the first trimester either, but we did tell our immediate family. For me, it felt good to be supported and to have my closest family know what we were going through. But I did take almost a week to myself with no company or phone calls just to grieve and process on my own with my husband. This time was very helpful.
The day after my d&c, my mother made the poor choice of telling me how I could have caused my miscarriage. I quickly told her to drop the issue and was so happy to see her leave. I was so emotional, I couldn't talk to her. I wrote a letter. I know in her own way she was trying to help, but she just doesn't get it. After reading my letter, she apologized and of course I forgave her. I share this because I understand why you may not want to talk to your mother.
I'm here if you need an ear :)
I'm glad that you have a good relationship with your mother.
I don't have a good relationship with my mother. She loves me, but she has never had a miscarriage. So, when I told her the first time that we got pregnant and she blamed me for the miscarriage! So I'm so grateful that I didn't tell her about our second one, because I know she would've blamed me again.
I only told friends that would support me - regardless of what happened, so I understand why you are being protective and selective.
Blessings to you, during this precious time of gentleness.
Whatever you decide to say to your mom, just know that you are loved and are perfect with your Higher Power - just as you are.