I'm so sorry you are going through this. Since you have a history of depression, I would make sure to contact a counselor as soon as possible. I know with the holidays it will be hard but get in to see one as soon as possible. If you do not have any depression medications at home, you should also talk to your doctor about getting on some as soon as possible.

The pain is going to come and go but the first weeks and for some the first months are the hardest. It's definitely a wave of emotions and I can't imagine finding out the day before Christmas Eve.

Please be prepared, mentally, that you might start to miscarry on your own before your scheduled D&C. I just had a miscarriage in November, I was supposed to be 13 weeks and found out the baby had stopped growing at 10 weeks and had no heartbeat. My body had done nothing to up until that point to show there was anything wrong. I found out on a Thursday and was scheduled for a D&C the following Tuesday. On Friday, I started spotting then light, light flow/spotting on Saturday and by Sunday morning the m/c was full on it's way and I was in the ER having an emergency D&C.

Sometimes just mentally knowing that you have lost the pregnancy will get things going with your body. So be prepared for that. You may want to Google what happens during a miscarriage so you will be prepared for what might happen. I am so glad I did or I would have been really freaked out with what my body was doing. Being prepared mentally will help you get through the physical part.

The emotional part is a whole other story. You will be going through a lot of pain and sorrow. I'm so sorry for that. I wish no one had to go through this.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss!!! It's been 4 weeks since I lost my second baby. I have two other children but the pain of my two lost babies is amazingly strong. They were my babies and I LOVED them deeply even though I never got to meet them. Yes, the pain did get easier for me, though the first two-three weeks were just plain rough. I have moments in my days now where something will set me off and I'll feel that inexplainable sorrow/grief and cry again. You just have to know that it is okay to hurt. It's not fun at all. It's downright miserable. But it's okay. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your baby. It's so important. I will say, though, that it's extra hard when you have other kids to look after. I had to try not to let my two little ones see me crying too much because it upset them. Somehow you'll get through.
I also have a history of depression and such. Not fun.
Hang in there. Talk about it all you need!

I am sorry that you're having to go through this right now. I lost my first baby last month. My support system is 3 hours away. It's been tough. I was 15 weeks along but the baby's heart wasn't beating and he had died a week earlier. I say he, because in my heart, it was a boy.
I agree with Whistle, speak with your doctor and your counselor about your history with depression. This is going to be a hard time for you, and you're going to need the help.
As for the d&c, you'll probably be put under general anesthesia and given a sedative. I don't remember anything from the moment the drug went into my IV until the first time I woke up in the recovery room and the nurse offered me morphine. You'll want to pick up some pads, no tampons until your doctor clears it. Get the heavy duty ones just in case.
And talk to your husband. He needs to know that you're going to be emotional and it's going to take some time to cope. I lost my little one on November 10th and I still cry a little bit every day. Crying is healing though. You are going to experience post-partum issues as well. The hormones are going to take the same amount of time to disappear as they do with a full term healthy birth. Let him know that too.
I will keep you in my thoughts.

I am so, so sorry for you and your family.

I'm dreading seeing my whole family for Christmas too, so I can't imagine finding out TODAY of all days... That's just awful. I just hope you have enough support. You need to give yourself the time you need to just BE SAD. If that means taking it easy this year, then don't for a second feel guilty about retiring early, or skipping some things altogether.

The best advice I've gotten so far is to just let yourself feel what you're feeling. If you need to find a quiet room to collect yourself during the business of the holidays, take your time. If a conversation starts to get uncomfortable for you, leave and come back later.

Only you know what you need to get through this, so communicate with your husband, family, and friends to make sure you stay physically and mentally healthy.

It's been exactly a week since we began to lose our baby, and yesterday was the first day I actually left the house, besides doctor's appointments... It takes time. Give yourself that gift this year. Don't be too hard on yourself, and I know you will be okay. I burst into tears at work today, spontaneously! But it's okay. I know I'm on the road to healing.

Remember always that you have three other beautiful gifts that God gave you to hold and cherish. Try not to think of them now as work, or as kids who need YOU. To get through this loss... You may end up needing THEM.

xox Shannon

Im so sorry! I found out last week my baby had no heart beat and I started to bleed yesterday! I really hope you can do it on your own its so much better for your body! Its hard and it sucks but Im trying to take it one day at a time

I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel. Last feb. I learned that I had also experienced a missed miscarriage. The fetus only measured 9 weeks, however, I was almost 13 weeks. I decided to wait it out and let things pass naturally. I only had to wait 2 days, before things kicked into gear, but those two days were horrible. I think just waiting around, until everything happens is the worst.

I also have a history of depression, and I experienced a relapse after my miscarriages. My best advice is to contact a therapist right away! My therapist really helped me out. Make sure that you rely on your family and let them know about your fear of depression. Make sure they understand that is this a possibility and ask them help, and let them help. I'm not a big believer in drug therapy, but anti depressants can help. Exercise is another great alternative treatment that can with depression. Cutting sugar out and eating more whole and natural foods, has also proved to help with depression.

Lastly, remember that things will get better. Just take one day at a time.
J

Thank you so much for all who replied to my post. It has helped me more than you know to know that others understand my pain and are living each day at a time. For me, it is living moment by moment. I was able to survive Christmas but not without removing myself from the festivities several times to go cry by myself. My other children gave me a reason to get out of bed when I really did not think I could.
At this point, I am just praying for it to pass from my body naturally so I do not have to go to the D & C procedure next week. Not knowing at what moment I might begin to bleed and how much is scary to me. I am worried that I will be alone or in the middle of taking care of the other kids while my husband is at work..

Thank you again for all who posted words of encouragement. My thoughts are with everyone who is also going though this horrible loss. Nobody understands what is feels like unless they have experienced it. It is no use for me to confide in any of my friends who have never dealt with this.

I am also sorry about your loss. My husband and I found out we had lost our baby Nov.10th. We even scheduled 2 additional visits to the Dr. in order to verify all that we had learned. We were devastated. Thanksgiving was horrible and my body continued to retained my baby although I did the pill form of the D&C (twice). Since my body was unable to begin the miscarriage process naturally I was scheduled for a D &C on the 15th of this month. I was so terrified, but it was actually completed before I knew it. I have had a period and spotting since. I was told it will take a while for my body to get back on a normal cycle...so I am taking it one day at a time. I have also battled with the depression and sadness from our loss and have found comfort in friends and family who have had similar experiences. I really feel like they can understand me so much better than someone who hasnt. As much as I have wanted to "be alone" it does help to have others around......and its okay to ask. Hang in there and know that you are not alone.

I wish "I'm sorry" would help... but I know first hand there isn't anything anyone can say or do to help you feel better. I do how ever know what you are going through as well... I gave birth to our son on the 9th of this month. I was 17weeks along and this was my 3rd lost pregnancy... All I can tell you about the pain is this..... Yes you will be able to get over the intence pain. Although it will never completely leave you, you will learn how to cope with it... It is up to you on how long this will take. The DNC will be quick. You will be asleep for during it.. You will prob be admitted for atleast the afternoon and you can expect to have some stomach pains for short while (days or so) afterwards.... Take it easy and leave the heavy work to your husband for the first couple weeks after.. I will tell you though with DNC's comes scaring. I had one with my first misscarige and wish my body would have naturaly gone into labor like with my last two. The scaring won't be horrible just realize there will be a little.
Also... I too have the same history as you... DON'T KEEP IT INSIDE HUN! I can't stress that enough... I'm starting to fall bck into dep. and it is scaring the heck out of me. Talk to your husband and make sure you tell him how he can help you. I don't know if you have faith but if you do dig deep into HIS word. Pray and thank HIM for the blessings He has given you. You were a mother to your baby for a short while but it was for a reason.. Rest in that and allow yourself to heal. I will be praying for you..
-Ray-

i just wanted to let you know that i am sorry for your loss. especially at this christmas season. i know that this is terribly painful to go through. keep us updated and know we are here for you. my prayers are with you. sincerely, camillemarie