Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
Are any of you upset by people telling you miscarriage horror stories, or giving you useless advice after they find out about your loss?
Sometimes when someone finds out I've miscarried they proceed to tell me about their aunt so and so who had 3 miscarriages and then 2 healthy kids, or their friend who miscarried in between each of her living children. Is that suppose to make me feel better. I know they mean well, but I dont want to think about having three miscarriages before I finally have a child, or think about possibly miscarrying every other time I get pregnant.
The advice is even worse. I hear, "well you shouldnt have told people so early. You know thats bad luck" or " maybe you did too much. You know you have to slow down when you are pregnant". Seriously! Do they think I ran myself ragged and flung my body around like a rag doll and thats why I miscarried. And no I didnt tell too may people..Hell my mother didnt even know!
But I think the one thing I've heared that really hurt me was when my friend said "Wow you had another miscarriage and needed a D&C. Thats so bad for your body and your health. You should stop doing that to yourself , get your tubes tied or something because miscarriages arent healthy and neither are invasive procedures like D&C's." Is she kidding me! Does she honestly think I woke up one morning and said "hmm I feel like destroying my body & my sanity, so I'm gonna miscarry today and then go have a D&C so I can really screw things up down there." GEEZ! I know miscarriages are bad and I wouldnt wish one on my worst enemy, so how can she think that I'm doing this to myself.
I'm sorry for ranting, but I'm having an emotional day,and I've kinda had it with people who just dont seem to have brain cells.
Sometimes when someone finds out I've miscarried they proceed to tell me about their aunt so and so who had 3 miscarriages and then 2 healthy kids, or their friend who miscarried in between each of her living children. Is that suppose to make me feel better. I know they mean well, but I dont want to think about having three miscarriages before I finally have a child, or think about possibly miscarrying every other time I get pregnant.
The advice is even worse. I hear, "well you shouldnt have told people so early. You know thats bad luck" or " maybe you did too much. You know you have to slow down when you are pregnant". Seriously! Do they think I ran myself ragged and flung my body around like a rag doll and thats why I miscarried. And no I didnt tell too may people..Hell my mother didnt even know!
But I think the one thing I've heared that really hurt me was when my friend said "Wow you had another miscarriage and needed a D&C. Thats so bad for your body and your health. You should stop doing that to yourself , get your tubes tied or something because miscarriages arent healthy and neither are invasive procedures like D&C's." Is she kidding me! Does she honestly think I woke up one morning and said "hmm I feel like destroying my body & my sanity, so I'm gonna miscarry today and then go have a D&C so I can really screw things up down there." GEEZ! I know miscarriages are bad and I wouldnt wish one on my worst enemy, so how can she think that I'm doing this to myself.
I'm sorry for ranting, but I'm having an emotional day,and I've kinda had it with people who just dont seem to have brain cells.
It's hard because there are people who honestly do mean well and some of these comments are stemmed from that but at the time they don't always think about what they're saying. Then there are those who are just insensitive clods who seem to naturally speak without thinking. You can spot the difference after a while.
Hmm...sorry, guess I got off on a rant too!! Whatever, you guys are the only ones who understand me so I'll rant away :)