It is hard having to go through this while everyone else is merrily carrying on with their lives. It's even harder when people who don't understand comment on what you are going through and belittles your pain.
It's not fair we lost our precious babies while so many have their babies with ease.
However we now have something not everyone has. We understand pain and sadness and the grieving process. And when someone in your life is going through a hard time you will be able to be there for them because you will understand.
Sorry that you are having a sad time at the moment. Sometimes it feels like we'll never get off this rollercoaster! Hope you can find something to make you smile soon xx

Thanks! I have been doing better lately. just yesterday I was just really surprised by all these angry feelings I was having, all this jealousy of other peoples "bliss". It was instigated at work. I have a co-worker 2 offices down who seems to spend half her day taking or making calls to/for her kids, and of course her ring tone is a recording of her toddler lisping " I wuv you mommy". Cute idea, right ?

but you're right. we learn so much from all this although I still have no idea what the right thing to day is.

Oh Mary-I feel your pain. I miscarried 2 weeks ago today. 9 weeks. I was SO happy, SO excited to give the love of my life a baby. I was told for years I couldn't have children, due to my diabetes, thyroid disease, HBP, age (I'm 44). We went out for dinner the other night, and there was a young waitress working her butt off 6 months pregnant. I couldn't stop staring at her. I find myself looking at all the young moms with babies. I'm not resentful, I just wish I could experience what they have. Everyday that goes by, I feel a little better. It just wasn't in the plan for me I guess. You are a beautiful young woman and you Will have your sweet baby someday soon. Thinking of you.
Sarah

I experienced 2 miscarriages in a row in 2012, and I did sometimes feel bitter and angry at times. It was a really depressing and sad time for my husband and I.

It's was so heart breaking and painful. I just couldn't believe fate could be so cruel, because I had 2 miscarriages in a row.

However, I really do feel for women who experience lots of miscarriages, but miscarriages regardless of how many you experience is a painful experience.

Hope you manage to heal emotionally, but it takes time, wish you lots of luck and happiness.

Rachel x x

I feel like I could've written your post. I lost 2 yrs 2012 and a yr ago 2013 and I was so angry and jealous and to be honest some of those feelings still remain (even though I do have children...which made me feel even more like I shouldn't be so angry or jealous). One of the most therapeutic things I did when I was still suffering after my first loss (bc I wanted to break something too) was buying a piece of pottery...a cup from hobby lobby...that looked like what I imagined my personality to be...and I broke it! I put it in a bag so as to not have shards of glass everywhere and I broke it. Then I got a pen and some crazy glue and I wrote on each piece and glued the cup back together....now it sits on my shelf all broken, mangled yet pieced together...just like me. Hope the days get easier....and that too day was a good one.

I was you back in Nov 2012 and to be honest, even though I've spent a year and half healing and getting to have my miracle baby there is still anger and resentment at times. Why does my friend who had at least one abortion in high school, get to be pregnant for the 6th time and never have to deal with the pain of a miscarriage? Yet I tried for over a year to get pregnant only to lose it and have to have a d&c the day before Thanksgiving.

I like jmommy's idea of the mug. I found for myself that I just had my rants when I needed them, sometimes it was in the car by myself with the music blaring, sometimes it was in the shower with the water pelting me. But each time I acknowledged my feelings I got some relief and for me, I got some healing. Not that I think it will ever go away.

And the other thing I have come to realize is that my life was touched by a miscarriage and I'm pissed that there are others out there who will never know that pain, but I have come to realize that they may experience pain that I will never have to deal with. We all have our fair share of sh!tstorms, they come in the form of cancer, other illness or disease, miscarriage, etc. This just happens to be our own little slice of hell, but everyone gets dealt a bad deal at some point, so try not to compare yourself to others, just makes it that much harder to deal.

One thing my counselor suggested that I really loved was to get a dozen eggs. Write something you are angry about or grieving on each egg. Then go somewhere along (we live by the mountains, so she suggested up a canyon) and throw each egg at a rock or something to break it. Take your time and think about each one as you throw it - try to release the anger with the egg.
I've had so many days when I've felt like the anger at the unjustness of life would consume me. I think it comes in waves. We deal with each as it comes. But each time it comes, it is a little less intense.
Another real turning point for me was when we went to my grandmother's funeral a couple of months ago. I sat and talked with my sister and a cousin - we were all really close as kids, but have grown apart over the years. Later, at a family lunch, I was watching them and thinking. My cousin's marriage is on the rocks...they barely speak. My sister's youngest son has a rare neurological disease...no one knows what is wrong, except that he is dying. I was mourning the death of my unborn child. And I suddenly realized...we all have unimaginable pain. Every single person is living in their own private hell. There are brief moments of respite. But everyone suffers.
Realizing that really helped me deal with the jealousy of thinking everyone had a perfectly happy life except me.
Anyway, be compassionate with yourself. Accept and deal with the waves of pain and jealousy and such as they come. Know that they aren't forever. Healing will come. I don't think the ache will ever fully leave...but I think it will lessen over time.

I am so angry, too. I miscarried about 5 months ago, and last week I had a conversation with a "friend" from church who is 8 months pregnant. She asked me if I was over it yet, since it had been a few months, and then started to tell me about how I should go to an alternative doctor and figure out what's wrong with me. She doesn't know that there is anything wrong with me!!!!!

This was my first pregnancy, and I 'm so scared that I won't be able to have children. I'm only 31, but I feel old.

I'm mostly scared that this loss will rob me of my joy if I get pregnant again. I feel so bitter and angry towards other people--the people who don't get it, the people who act like nothing happened, especially people who are pregnant now. I've even been angry at my own past self who was happy.

I feel for all of you. I recently miscarried as well and I'm 32 and it was my first. It's been a wild ride and everyday is different. Just two days ago I felt like I have completely gotten over it and cannot squeeze out another drop of tear. Then today it's back to square one and I'm really down in the dumps. Especially now that I have regained all my physical strength, I have more time to review and dissect all the comments and "well wishes" that I have received. I'm starting to feel really angry towards some of them. Even though I know the deliverer of the insensitive comment had meant well. Sometimes in my mind I question how they would react if I had said the same thing to them if their own child/toddler/infant had died. I feel really bad for thinking that. Even my closest sister, who has a healthy toddler herself, told me that "at least it didn't happen when you're 4 months pregnant". (I lost mine at 7 weeks) At the time I was too distraught to even get offended. A few days after I miscarried I had to drag myself out of bed go to a wedding. and every time I refused an alcoholic drink because I was still recovering from the m/c, someone would raise an eyebrow and tease me about being pregnant. It was SO upsetting. and makes me SO angry. I imagine punching them in the face to make myself feel better.

Sitting at the wedding with all these oblivious people acting like there's not a care in the world was the hardest part. I too feel so angry and bitter towards these people who doesn't know how much hurt and sadness life can bring.

Reading about you gals stories make me feel a little better. I just want to rant and rant and rant...