Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.
After a month of pain no dr could figure out I found out I was pregnant. Previously I had been told I had cystitis, divriticulitus, or a uti. All were wrong and a simple blood test would have proven it. I rejoiced, there was nothing wrong with me I was just pregnant. I had been trying for 8 long months with no success due to PCOS.
A week after finding out I was pregnant I ended up going in for an ultrasound to date the pregnancy. It only showed a small empty sac and a date there was no possibility I could have gotten pregnant. Three days later I miscarried. It took me three weeks of pain to pass everything with an eventual d&c. I will never forget everything I experienced.
At first I decided I would okay once everything passed. I figured at least I hadn't seen an actual baby, there was something wrong from the beginning. It still hurt so much but I would be okay. Boy, was I wrong.
A few days ago I found out my closest friend is 5 weeks pregnant. Somehow that has brought everything crashing down. How can I watch someone go through all the changes I should be going through right now? How can I look at her ultrasounds and hear all ins and outs of pregnancy when I should be there too? I take good care of myself. I take my vitamins, I'm active, I eat well. She smokes a lot and still does even now. I would stand on my head for nine months if it would help me have a successful pregnancy.
I feel horrible about these emotions. Her friendship means so much to me. I just don't know what to do.
A week after finding out I was pregnant I ended up going in for an ultrasound to date the pregnancy. It only showed a small empty sac and a date there was no possibility I could have gotten pregnant. Three days later I miscarried. It took me three weeks of pain to pass everything with an eventual d&c. I will never forget everything I experienced.
At first I decided I would okay once everything passed. I figured at least I hadn't seen an actual baby, there was something wrong from the beginning. It still hurt so much but I would be okay. Boy, was I wrong.
A few days ago I found out my closest friend is 5 weeks pregnant. Somehow that has brought everything crashing down. How can I watch someone go through all the changes I should be going through right now? How can I look at her ultrasounds and hear all ins and outs of pregnancy when I should be there too? I take good care of myself. I take my vitamins, I'm active, I eat well. She smokes a lot and still does even now. I would stand on my head for nine months if it would help me have a successful pregnancy.
I feel horrible about these emotions. Her friendship means so much to me. I just don't know what to do.
As far as your friend and your feelings. Once again time is the only medicine. I know it is hard but I would talk to your friend. Tell her that right now you just emotionally need a little space that it hurts too much. You are extremely happy for her but that right now it is too hard for you with you are going through emotionally and physically. She should understand if you are as close as you say you are. It took me about 2 months to be able to even go near my godson after I miscarried. But, I can tell you it will happen. Give yourself permission to put that distance. It will help your healing and then you will come back around. There will be parts of your friends pregnancy that will of course be painful and hard for you but be honest with yourself and your friend and you guys will ge through. Who knows what will happen but 9 months is a long time and after having a D&C a woman is extremely fertile for 3-6. You never know you could be pregnant yourself by the time your friend is due.
No matter what know that we are here for you to vent, ask questions, or just ramble to. XO :) Jenn
But for now you need to take care of yourself. I know it might sound selfish but maybe you need some distance from this friend. At least from seeing the ultrasounds. I know we feel that we should put on a face and be supportive to others but you have yourself to look after. Shortly after my last miscarriage; I received a baby shower invite. Not only was I not able to go but I could not even bring myseld to decline the invitation. She did not know I had been pregnant and I did not want to explain my loss. I know at some point I will let her know and I have learned that people understand. So my advice to you is take care of yourself. Take a break of seeing the pregnancy of hers if you can.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.