Migraine Headaches Support Group
Migraine is a neurological disease, of which the most common symptom is an intense and disabling episodic headache. Migraine headaches are usually characterized by severe pain on one or both sides of the head and are often accompanied by photophobia (hypersensitivity to light), phonophobia (hypersensitivity to sound) and nausea.
Back in November of last year, I became my mother's primary caregiver... as best as I could being that I haven't been able to take care of myself, much less anyone else!!!...
Anyway, back then my mom wasn't able to take care of herself alone, so she was trying to get a provider and we had just gotten that process started at the end of July...when she fell and broke her hip...and had to have surgery...and didn't come out of the surgery right away like she usually does...
To make a very long story short, I started to have to make major life changing decisions for her because in the hospital she was diagnosed with high functioning dementia...so...I had to sign her in to a Skilled Nursing Facility...then...I had to have her transferred to a Rehab/Nursing home facility where she doesn't want to be....she cries...and asks me why she has to be locked up in these places when all she wants is to go home...well...it just kills me...because she was suffering and tired of living before this accident...and now...she is suffering even more, but now it's worse...because she needs 24 hour care...and I can't provide it...so I have to put her in this nursing home...then I have to worry about the financial aspect of everything...and of course, now I am faced with the reality of make end of life preparations...although she's amazingly healthy for a 94 year old with the exception of her pain, and limited mobility...and now this dementia....anyway...I can't care for her the way she deserves...now...
she is a people person...me? not so much...her friends and distant family wants to know all about her, and where she is, and how she is doing...and I understand their concern...but to be perfectly honest their concern is not my concern!!!...I was told by someone via FB, that I shouldn't keep her away from them...that she's part of their family too...and that she has been for like 30 years...well...yeah! I know that...but she's been my family for my entire life...and I am struggling to do the best I can with this situation and really don't care about what other people think or want...I even had a friend request from my cousin, her niece, who I haven't heard from or talked to in almost 20 years!!!!....I mean really? If you didn't care when things were good, why are you bothering me now? ...that's honestly the way I feel...and me well, I divorced my extended family as soon as I was able to...they are just too hypocritical and fake for me...and I don't need them...and we don't need them...
I don't know...am I right? or am I wrong? Not that it will change anything...because not until I'm ready and when I think she is ready will I tell them what they want to know...
This is why...I am a very private person, and just don't like to share things with people...people only think about themselves and how they feel...and don't take into consideration other people and their feelings...I am really struggling with this...
I struggle with my health, her health, but most of all I struggle with the question...am I really doing the right thing, even if I am doing it all by myself...and if I am really doing what is best for her and what she wants!!!!...cause most of time, I don't think I am...
Anyway, back then my mom wasn't able to take care of herself alone, so she was trying to get a provider and we had just gotten that process started at the end of July...when she fell and broke her hip...and had to have surgery...and didn't come out of the surgery right away like she usually does...
To make a very long story short, I started to have to make major life changing decisions for her because in the hospital she was diagnosed with high functioning dementia...so...I had to sign her in to a Skilled Nursing Facility...then...I had to have her transferred to a Rehab/Nursing home facility where she doesn't want to be....she cries...and asks me why she has to be locked up in these places when all she wants is to go home...well...it just kills me...because she was suffering and tired of living before this accident...and now...she is suffering even more, but now it's worse...because she needs 24 hour care...and I can't provide it...so I have to put her in this nursing home...then I have to worry about the financial aspect of everything...and of course, now I am faced with the reality of make end of life preparations...although she's amazingly healthy for a 94 year old with the exception of her pain, and limited mobility...and now this dementia....anyway...I can't care for her the way she deserves...now...
she is a people person...me? not so much...her friends and distant family wants to know all about her, and where she is, and how she is doing...and I understand their concern...but to be perfectly honest their concern is not my concern!!!...I was told by someone via FB, that I shouldn't keep her away from them...that she's part of their family too...and that she has been for like 30 years...well...yeah! I know that...but she's been my family for my entire life...and I am struggling to do the best I can with this situation and really don't care about what other people think or want...I even had a friend request from my cousin, her niece, who I haven't heard from or talked to in almost 20 years!!!!....I mean really? If you didn't care when things were good, why are you bothering me now? ...that's honestly the way I feel...and me well, I divorced my extended family as soon as I was able to...they are just too hypocritical and fake for me...and I don't need them...and we don't need them...
I don't know...am I right? or am I wrong? Not that it will change anything...because not until I'm ready and when I think she is ready will I tell them what they want to know...
This is why...I am a very private person, and just don't like to share things with people...people only think about themselves and how they feel...and don't take into consideration other people and their feelings...I am really struggling with this...
I struggle with my health, her health, but most of all I struggle with the question...am I really doing the right thing, even if I am doing it all by myself...and if I am really doing what is best for her and what she wants!!!!...cause most of time, I don't think I am...
Sorry....
Did you ever consider the fact that if she was able to talk with her friends and family she might not be so sad and lonely and crying all the time?
You need to make this right by your mom and let her have contact with her people....you can't be the only person in her life.