Polarized sunglasses. I wear them all the time. If the light is too bright, I wear them indoors too. I never leave the house without them (or pain meds). If you haven't told your friends and family about your CM you should, because they will understand if you have to stop in the middle of a function better than if you have to make up a lame excuse. Plan quiet indoor activities whenever possible. The first step is accepting you have this condition. The next step is learning to live with it and work with it, not against it. (I am still in the trying to accept it stage I think... but I am trying to think about the future here.) Just my two cents, I hope it helps.

I have had migraines for many years. WE are more then our headaches. We did not ask for this. Some people will understand and othesr just don't get it. My family is like that. I have missed gatherings not much is said. anymore.The lack compassion at times make me inferior. I don't say much to the cold people anymore. They will never understand. On a good day it's not brought up. I need to take care of myself.. Some friends have drifted away over the tears.. This site is a good place to share the frustration that we deal with.1

I was honest with my friends and family (though since my migraines started when I was a teenager the family already knew). It was surprising how supportive my friends were.

I always travel with medication, just in case, so that when I go to a function and start feeling the warning signs I can pop a pill and hope it stops the migraine in its tracks. Friends don't even notice what I do as they are so use to it now. If I do have to go home I just alert them that I have to go due to the pain building up. 9 times out of 10 I get thanked for coming and told next time we will have heaps of fun. Sometimes I have to call on the day and say I can't make it and everyone is fine with that as they understand migraines don't care about our social life.

I once went to my brothers with a migraine just because he had baked me a birthday cake. I felt I had to show up because of the effort he put in. I only stayed 30 minutes and the kids ate most of the cake. My brother wrapped up a slice and sent it home with me. Because he knew I can't help the migraines he wasn't fazed by me having to leave early.

I found people accept migraines but are less accepting of chronic pain. Perhaps it is because just about everyone has experienced a headache and can then slightly understand the pain of a migraine. Not many have experience pain that lasts continuously for months/years.

Good friends always understand and for those that don't, offer them some information to help them understand that migraines just happen, but they do not define you as a person.

I think the best thing in your situation is just to be honest, that's what I do with my friends and my family all know as I'm 17 and have been suffering for 4 and a half years so they've seen how migraines have affected me. My friends are sympathetic towards my migraines, and we make plans to go out often (despite me having around migraines roughly 5 days a week) and they totally understand if I have to cancel, its not a big deal anymore. I understand what you mean about not wanting the relationship to become about the illness, and it won't if you just act normally with your friends outside of migraines, if anything its made my friendship with certain friends even stronger as they know I will my absolute best to be as social as possible. One thing I would recommend with regard to helping your migraine is that it isn't all about medications etc, lifestyle also plays a huge part in migraines; after seeing a new neurologist I have focused on this in particular and have now cut ALL caffeine out of my diet, including chocolate, I have a regular and reasonable bed time (with the exception of nights out) and I have also stopped having lie-ins as this is not good for a migraine brain. So I would advise you to have a regular bed time and a regular waking up time, no later than 9am. Good luck with it all!

I have migraines for 30 plus years. They have gotten worse with each decade. In my 20's Execedrin was enough to control them. Br my mid 30's I started the occasional opiate. By my 40's I had multiple other illnesses and my migraines were now running 24 hours day, 7 days and I was on morphine 4 times a day and still in pain. I have a very high pain tolerance on top of that. I would go with a good pain med so you can have a social life. I was able to cope until my migraines went 24/7. Then my life stopped. Take advantage of the years you have, you never know when they will increase and your life your will stop. Enjoy what you can, when you can, you don't know what the future holds.

Thanks for letting me know what works for you. This is more helpful than you know.

One of the side effects of chronic pain - from migraines or anything - is that it starts controlling your family life. Whether you and your family can go somewhere or do something, etc. So of course they can come to resent it.

I have migraines and rheumatoid arthritis, so my body just hates me. Strangely enough, my migraines have gotten better since I've been treated for the RA - my neurologist thinks that it's because the overall level of inflammation in my body has been decreased by my RA meds. I don't care - my head feels better most of the time. Either way, I try to have a fairly active social life, but my friends have come to understand that I can usually stay out for at most 2 hours and then I'm tired and need to come home and rest.

I also always carry my painkillers for my RA and my migraine meds with me so that I can try to have fun with my friends and family. And my friends - most of them, at least - understand that there are some activities that I don't really enjoy - like things that involve lots of walking or being out in hot sun, which can trigger headaches. So I deal with the fact that they don't invite me to things I wouldn't be able to go on, and they plan activities with me that I'd enjoy doing with them. Sometimes it kind of sucks because I wish I could do more, but those are the limits of chronic pain.