Intellectual Disability Support Group
Intellectual Disability is a term for a pattern of persistently slow learning of basic motor and language skills ("milestones") during childhood, and a significantly below-normal global intellectual capacity as an adult. One common criterion for diagnosis of Intellectual Disability is a tested intelligence quotient (IQ) of 70 or below. People with Intellectual Disability...
Hello, I am a mother of a very challenging boy with an iq of 62. My story is long and takes many twists and turns. I got pregnant very young, at the age of 16. I delivered my beautiful baby boy, Joey on a warm, sunny day in September. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I did everything "right" I took my vitamins, ate properly, exercised and went to all my doctor's appointments. Being so young, I naively assumed this would guarantee me a perfectly healthy baby with a normal, happy life lying ahead of him. For a very short period of time this seemed to be the case with Joey. But several months after Joey was born I began to get this creeping sensation that something was not quite right with my baby boy. Call it mother's intuition, I guess. All of his well baby checks went splendidly and I was reassured that he was on the right track even if he was hitting some of his milestones on the later end of the spectrum. Besides the tugging feeling I had that something was wrong, I loved, loved being Joey's mother. He was such a delight in every aspect of his personality. He was the happiest baby, toddler and preschooler. Everyone loved him, kids and adults. He was and still is extraordinarily cute. I adored being a young mother and for the most part was able to squash that nagging feeling of something being not quite right. But then he started preschool. At his first parent-teacher conference, I was told he was very behind his peers. I was shown comparisons of work and art projects of that of his and his peers and was sad to see the huge discrepancy. My boy couldn't even put his pen and pencil to paper and scissors..forget about it..the whole concept to him was completely overwhelming I was told. She told me he was a complete delight to have as a student and that everyone wanted to be his friend. He was socially on task but had troubles sitting in circle quietly. I sought out advice from family, other friends who were teachers and even his nurse practioner and was told to give him some time...that he was probably a late bloomer. He continued on in to kindergarten and it was recommended that I have him tested for learning disabilities. I allowed the school to do their full workup on him and also had him privately tested with a family friend. The private testing revealed that he was overwhelmingly a.d.d and the school testing revealed that although he didn't have a specific learning disability, he was significantly behind his age group. Because of his diagnosis of a.d.d he was found eligible in the school system to have special education services. The school system and the private testing never did or never revealed a full scale i.q. to me He struggled through his first three years of elementary school. I cried a lot and my depression came in furious episodes as I tried to help this young man succeed. I trusted the school system and the private evaluator so I just carried on doing my best with extra tutoring for him and extra help from myself and my husband. At this young age he was still doing o.k. socially and seemed to have a group of really good friends. At the end of third grade he was retested by the school system because it is county mandated to retest every 3 years. Again they embarked on the comprehensive full work up and the plan remained the same. They never revealed or never completed a full scale i.q. They mentioned that he did have lower areas of i.q. in working memory, non-verbal, visual spatial but that his verbal i.q. was within normal range. They said that he was a bright child that struggled and that he was plagued with a.d.d. Even though we had tried various medications for him over the years for a.d.d his situation never improved greatly. At the beginning of fourth grade, his special education teacher recommended that we have him privately evaluated by a speech-language pathologist and a developmental opthomologist. She also recommended that we take him to John Hopkins (Kennedy Krieger Institute) for an evaluation because she felt that something much larger was going on with him than just a.d.d ................To be continued............. I have to get ready for the day but would love to share the rest of my story. Happy Mother's day to all of you brave, wonderful and loving mothers (especially to those of you who have children with special needs)
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
So the testing with the speech/language pathologist revealed that he had auditory integration issues and the developmental opthomologist said he had intermittent strabismus. To make a long story short we spent a lot of time and money doing "therapies" for problems that are contraverscial to begin with but we were desperate. Kennedy Krieger was adamant that he was not mentally challenged even though they did not do a full scale IQ on him. They said his adaptive behaviors were too good to consider him to be someone with an intellectual disability. I left feeling relieved that my child did not have an ID but still was at a loss for what was wrong with my child. They didn't have any better answers for me than the school system. They just said he was a.d.d
On to current time, my son is a miserable, mean, ill adjusted 15 year old. He has no friends ( his age ) so is very isolated. His best friend is a cousin who is 12 years old. He is disrespectful toward me, my husband and my four year old son. He refuses to help around the house unless it involves being paid for it. He frequently cusses at me and calls me names. He throws things and breaks them. His only interests include video games, talking on the phone to his cousin and now a guitar he got for xmas from my parents. The one positive thing about the guitar is that he takes lessons and can manage to play small songs which pumps up his self esteem. I am at my wits end with his behavior and don't know where to turn for help. We have tried meds but they don't work. We have tried talk therapy with a pschyologist but that doesn't work. I miss my son and the close relationship my husband and I used to have with him. Oh and one thing I forgot to mention is his hygiene is atrocious and trying to get him to brush his teeth is like trying to pull teeth! When he dose brush his teeth he can't seem to manage to get the plaque off. He won't let me come anywhere near him to help. I know this sounds like a laundry list of awful things I have to say about my son but it really is the truth...things are awful right now. I can only hope that I can help him to become the best man he is capable of being but right now it seems hopeless. He is not happy and all I want for my son is to be happy. I love him unconditionally and would do anything for him but it is hard to say the least.
I'm sure your son is getting help at home - and I assume that he has a social worker at the school assigned to him. I would contact the social worker (if he doesn't already see one) and ask how they can help - or ask to have a meeting without your son to discuss your concerns. Lots of kids separate from their parents at this age - what you need is for him to then come back to you as well.
My son does not have a low IQ yet I had many of the same problems. Sometimes it just takes a while. In the meantime - you should get some help from the school - they are there for that.