After spending the last six months of my life thinking I was dying of some mysterious disease I learned that the " internal" tremors I was feeling were actually due to estrogen deficiency
and simply part of my perimenopause. In Jan 2009 I began to suffer severe heartburn, panic attacks, insomia, sweats etc. One day I thought I was having a heart attack and began a long journey of trying to figure out what was wrong in my body. I saw my cardiologist who luckily has known me for ten years ( he is also my family doctor) and he ran an ekg, an eco, a stress test, a 24 hour holter monitor ( all normal) to convince me I was suffering from severe anxiety.
About the same time I decided to remove my much diseased gallbladder ( four years) which now had a rock garden of gallstones. I had an indept adominal sonogram which revealed ONLY gallbladder disease and in April 2009 had it removed. I seemed to recuperate quite well for about a month and my panic attacks lessened so my doctor assumed they were because of the stomach issues my gallbladder had been causing.
I also went to see a GI doc to make sure nothing else was brewing inside me. I had an endoscopy ( only revealing a sluggish stomach). I went to see two gyn's other than my regular gyn for a second and third opinion.
I had another abdominal sono and a transvaginal sono. Both were fine except for a minor cyst on the right ovary. My menstrual cycle had been hellish since I turned 45. I would get my period on and off and at times bleed for two weeks straight. I kept asking if it was perimenopause and every doctor told me I was too young at 45. All this time my panic attacks became frequent again so my family doctor prescribed CYMBALTA. I had a horrid reaction and spent three days in and out of the ER with super high blood pressure and a rapid heart beat ( both of which I never had before) until an Indian female doctor in the last ER visit told me she thought it was menopause and gave me compazine to quiet down my queasy stomach and it seemed to stop all the crazy sensations I was feeling. I will never forget those three days. My body felt as if I was literally burning interally and I could feel a horrible pulsating in my head, neck and through my body as if I had swallowed a cell phone on vibrate. It was non stop and I thought I would go crazy.
After three days on the compazine ( I hate taking prescription drugs) I felt normal again so I stopped taking them. My family doc suggested Lexapro which I had taken years ago for a few months to just keep me calmer and boy was that another mistake. I again began feeling the burning sensation in the back of my neck, in my arms, on my thighs. I felt as if I was sunburned and I wanted to rip my clothing off. I did not understand and neither did my doc since I had taken it before.
I endured another few weeks of hell. The constant vibration inside of me would not let me sleep. I had massive headaches, neckpain and I was going nuts. I went to see a neurologist/psych who ran a few tests. MRA of brain, MRI of neck, EMG, EEG and gave me Klonopin and VOLTRAN gel for inflammation , none of which I took. I went to see another NEURO and took aLLLLLLLL my extensive bloodwork, testing etc copies with me. He ordered an MRI of my brain and another MRI of my neck with contrast. I was begining to feel like a human guinea pig. He discovered a small lesion in my cervical spine and some herniations from a bad car accident 10 years ago. No brain tumor or whatever other disease I thought I had. I went to see an ENDO who ran tons of blood work on me. Thyroid included. He ran tons of hormonal test, adrenal glands etc. He humored me and tested for diseases i had researched online. All were normal. My thyroid was a bit up and my blood sugar was a tad low but my hormones showed I was perimenopausal. He told me to get some good black cohash and basically endure it. All the time I kept telling all these doctors I was TREMBLING, VIBRATING INSIDE!!!!!!!!!!! All were clueless.
All the illnesses that would signify any form of trembling sensation ( inner) had been ruled out. So I came home time and time again very sad. Happy that I did not have a dreadful disease but still without an answer. I did not know which was worse.
I did online research for hours at night, I could not sleep since sleep meant to tremble till I was too exhausted to stay up any longer. I sat there with my coffee and dunkin donuts and read and read and read.
One night I went to bed and my husband who was lying beside me asked me " if i was cold?" I said " NO why?" and he asked " why was I shivering?" I jumped for joy. I was not shivering I WAS TREMBLING SO LOUD HE FELT IT! FINALLY HE FELT IT. I WAS NOT CRAZY, I HAD A WITNESS TO MY VIBRATING!!!!!!!!!!
In all my searching I came across a woman who also trembled/vibrated etc. I looked up her posting on powersurge.com and learned it was a symptom of the onset of menopause. All my life I had heard of hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, dryness etc. but NEVER of trembles, heart palps etc. Even most of my friends thought I was crazy when I asked if they ever felt what I was feeling. FINALLY others who were just like me "living vibrators" ...........
So what did I do? I read and read and read and I eliminated that nightly coffee and those munchkins and alot of sugar and chocolate from my daily night and I am begining to see the change. I still get heart palps and tremble but not to the extreme I use to. They seem to be calming down. I had purchased CALTRATE D and SLOW MAG and now I am in search of Black Cohash and I guess everyone is different because different things work for different women but I am finding relief. Had I listened to most of these doctors I would have been on elavil and vicodin and all sorts of meds by now. I must say I keep my xanax bottle handy. I only took it twice since prescribed in Feb but it makes me feel secure to know its in my pocket book should I need it. When my heart races at 120 while I am still in bed I do take an INDERAL 5mg which helps ( cardiologist prescribed) but only once in a blue. When my physical feelings get the best of me I drop what I am doing and take a drive or take a walk and relax and it goes away. I am grateful for the nights I do sleep. I do have some really vivid dreams ( with no meds) and I am learning what to eat and what to avoid, again different for every woman.
Most of all I am happy that I am not crazy or dying or all the other things I originally thought and I embrace my fellow tremblers and hope as some have said " this too shall pass " as the body shifts into menopause.
I still have days i wish I could " turn the batteries off" on my trembling but I have more good days than bad after making diet changes.
My kids and husband have learned to adapt to the new mommmy. I have 7 children ages 10 to 30 and I tell my younger ones at home that since they have an older mommy ( 47) I am going through older mommy things........They are just happy Mom is not really sick as we originally thought.
As for hormone therapy. My mother in law who had no history of breast cancer in her family and did take hormone therapy has advised me NOT to. Just live with is like she said! She lost a breast a few years ago.
So any fellow " thumpers" as my husband calls my vibrating. Feel free to contact me. YOU are NOT crazy and you are NOT alone!!!!!!!!!!!!