Menopause Support Group
Menopause is the physiological cessation of menstrual cycles associated with advancing age. It normally occurs in women between the ages of 45 and 55, when the body begins to slow and stop the production of eggs, estrogen and progesterone production decreases, and menstruation diminishes, eventually stopping altogether.
Is anybody else out there wishing you could just pack your bags and leave your SO and any kids you have and go somewhere else?
It's only natural; we are so very needy at this time in our lives that to suddenly not able to be the Emotional Anchor for everyone -mainly because WE NEED our own Emotional Anchor- leaves us with so many bad feelings: Guilt, Anger, Sorrow, Feelings of Inadequacy, etc. all on top of all the other negative stuff that we're already going through. We have been so available for our husbands/boyfriends, kids...heck, EVERYBODY...and now...we can't. In fact, we now need to put ourselves first for a change.
As one wise woman on this site said "Acceptance". That alone can relieve some of the stress on us, and whatever lessens stress for us at this time, is good. So despite all our feelings to the contrary, we have to learn to Accept that sometimes, and for short periods, we are more needy than them. (If you are taking care of small children, I can only suggest recruiting other family members to help. I wish I'd had family members to recruit when my child was 7, and I wish you the best).
But that's what our families do. Along with love and support, comes stress: where's my grey jacket? What's for dinner? We're out of toilet paper. I'm bored. I'm feeling frisky....etc. So many demands, most of them justified, and somehow, most of them are your responsibility.
That's why I've often wished I could just GO AWAY for a few days. If I even see either my husband or teenager, I know that they WANT me to do something, usually no matter how I feel...and I'm sorry, I'm in bad condition. I am NOT making dinner, doing laundry, or cleaning anything. Find your own shoes, figure out how to get eggs from the store, and don't even THINK about sex.
There's a little sign you can buy- and if I find it again, I'm buying it- that says "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".
Sorry, hubby and child...until Mama gets some rest, however long it takes, and gets happy (or at least happier), your meals are your problem.
And although they both seem to figure out how to feed themselves, I always know that after a few days of crying and sleeping, when I finally feel more normal and am able to get up......there's somehow always an ENORMOUS pile of dirty clothes waiting for me. :>\
....so when things are bad, I'm going to be GOOD to me!
and I hope you do, too!
It's only natural; we are so very needy at this time in our lives that to suddenly not able to be the Emotional Anchor for everyone -mainly because WE NEED our own Emotional Anchor- leaves us with so many bad feelings: Guilt, Anger, Sorrow, Feelings of Inadequacy, etc. all on top of all the other negative stuff that we're already going through. We have been so available for our husbands/boyfriends, kids...heck, EVERYBODY...and now...we can't. In fact, we now need to put ourselves first for a change.
As one wise woman on this site said "Acceptance". That alone can relieve some of the stress on us, and whatever lessens stress for us at this time, is good. So despite all our feelings to the contrary, we have to learn to Accept that sometimes, and for short periods, we are more needy than them. (If you are taking care of small children, I can only suggest recruiting other family members to help. I wish I'd had family members to recruit when my child was 7, and I wish you the best).
But that's what our families do. Along with love and support, comes stress: where's my grey jacket? What's for dinner? We're out of toilet paper. I'm bored. I'm feeling frisky....etc. So many demands, most of them justified, and somehow, most of them are your responsibility.
That's why I've often wished I could just GO AWAY for a few days. If I even see either my husband or teenager, I know that they WANT me to do something, usually no matter how I feel...and I'm sorry, I'm in bad condition. I am NOT making dinner, doing laundry, or cleaning anything. Find your own shoes, figure out how to get eggs from the store, and don't even THINK about sex.
There's a little sign you can buy- and if I find it again, I'm buying it- that says "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".
Sorry, hubby and child...until Mama gets some rest, however long it takes, and gets happy (or at least happier), your meals are your problem.
And although they both seem to figure out how to feed themselves, I always know that after a few days of crying and sleeping, when I finally feel more normal and am able to get up......there's somehow always an ENORMOUS pile of dirty clothes waiting for me. :>\
....so when things are bad, I'm going to be GOOD to me!
and I hope you do, too!
and i'm in texas, so....
sounds like you're handling it pretty well...
at least maybe better than i am.
warm safe hugs to you.
I feel guilty no matter what I am doing. Like no matter what it is, I should be doing something else. It's a weird restlessness. And I am a type B personality so it's weird. I have been a stay at home mom since my daughter was born 15 years ago. I have a small art business that helps with spending money but now I have no motivation to do new art. Thank goodness for licensing and people purchasing prints otherwise I would have nothing coming in at all. I feel sad that I let friendships die over the years because right now it would be nice to have other women to chat with about this stage of life. It seems everyone has their little group of people or sisters and brothers...our family is really small.
I go to be every night feeling relatively normal, but the morning when everyone leaves I feel like I have no purpose in life.
Once my insurance kicks in I think I will try to find a group therapy or something...I just don't understand why I can't seem to just get on with life. I can't imaging when the physical aspects of meno start to kick in...I do get massive headaches (have for the last 7 years) which are awful. No hot flashes yet - or at least not any bad ones. I'm 45 and not looking forward to these next few years unless I get a hold of myself. I want to feel happy to be around my family, but honestly I feel disconnected from them and feel like all my daughter wants me for is $$ and all my husband wants me for is...well, I'm not actually sure. I have not been putting any effort into meals lately either. I'm sick of trying to prepare something niece and my daughter sleeping through dinner, my son picking at his meal or wanting something different. I finally broke down and picked up the clothes off my daughter's floor and did her laundry. I won't say how many loads....I know I will get bashed for this by other moms of teens, but frankly, the battle takes too much out of me now. I have become weak and tired. I probably wouldn't even have done it except that I have family coming for Easter.
WEll, know that you are not alone in your feelings at all. It is disturbing to us because, like you said, we need someone to comfort us. AS you said our own Emotional Anchor! I have realized that my emotional anchor is my mom and she recently had a stroke and so I don't feel like I can go on and on about my emotional stuff. I feel like my bed and my books are my emotional anchors right now.
Good luck to you!!!