I agree with you 100 percent and was going to post about it. I don't think they should be here to analyze their sex life or their wife. Maybe we should direct them to Dr. Ruth? LOL!

I completely agree!!!! I felt a little creeped out when I got a message not directly about sex more of "my wife is not the same anymore......"
Since I'm new to this site I didn't want to say anything BUT I thought it was weird from day 1. There should be a male only support group for them to share their experiences & frustrations not ask us about what to do about their wife's low libido.

Again I'm glad I'm not the only one that felt this way. Thank you for bringing up this discussion - bmason.

:-/

I have notified the moderators of this forum via email. Let's hope they can get the issue resolved and that should make us more comfortable with the discussions we have!

I don't own the board, but I come here for support (women) and feel it's a woman's issue. Nothing against the gentleman posting. I just feel that we should be comfortable as we are all going through "the change" and we have enough things making us uncomfortable.

Everyone here is great and I love this group of women. I sure hope this doesn't scare anyone off by being uncomfortable with the occasional posting about the man's wife.

Karen

Im glad Im not the only one who thinks it weird. I know men go through their own thing trying to figure out whats going on with their once normal wife. and If a guy happens to stumble on this site looking for real answers, if he has any intelligence, all he has to do is read over some of the posts to get answers (including low libido). I get a creeped out feeling that the guys who post here are not husbands looking for answers, but just perverts (sorry, just my opinion). No matter how they dress up their question, its all about " sex". If a guy is reading this and is sincere then dont ask us about sex, give your wife the computer and tell her to check out this site. We talk about everything here (including low libido); more importantly though, we get support, we exchange information about things that has helped us with hot flashes, night sweats, etc. We get comfort knowing were not crazy and our symptoms are not unusual. We even get relief knowing our long crazy period doesn't mean were dying. Yes guys need support... get a guy-opause site going, get a how to romance my wife site going, But dont get on a menopause site for women and ask how you can get your wife to have sex. OH and another thing that is weird. I sometimes will answer a guys post and tell him to tell his wife about this site and let her be part of it....and his answer is ALWAYS "she wont go on it, she doesn't like talking about it, she doesnt want help". there is always a reason why "she" wont get on it. Im not bashing guys, I love men (my husband), I just get annoyed at perverts trolling this site. ..... again my apologies to any sincere guy....but get your on site going.

Maybe they could start their own group and call it " Whiny Men with women in menopause."
Make me VERY thankful for my husband... He did get online and read about menopause.. he even got on this site and read a few posts . Then he tells me. " YOU should check this group out, these women sound like you.. " He was really honest in saying I don't know how to help you, but you can talk to me about it and I will try to understand.. He is such a great guy.

Wow ! really? seriously? lol

I am in agreement! Maybe it's genuine...but it just seems weird that a guy would even want to be on this site. We're all a bunch of menopausal women.....we are probably the LAST group of people you should ask about getting your wife "in the mood". lol

It creeps me out anytime I see men on this site. They ALL need to go away. I haven't said anything but it surprises me to see any Ladies supporting their whiny ass. I even wonder why I waste my time reading anything from them. I guess the idea is interesting but I know they are not legit. If Barr62 is legit the first thing he needs to think about is the Adkins diet. Maybe then the wifey would be slightly more interested. Sorry I have had a couple of glasses of wine. DM

Ladies --
I can understand the whole creepy thing -- I am a woman who has joined the group to understand why my wife (gay partner) is going through. She is 47 and so and I. She has entered perimenopause (i am not biologically there yet) and it is hard on both of us. First, she was completely caught off guard -- she feels as if she is "too young" for this...of course she is not -- but the reality of that does not help things..and more important -- the whole perimen thing has seemingly never really been discussed before now when a woman is in the midst of it. I can remember being 9 years old -- you got a book -- a little pep talk from your health teacher in grade school and bang -- two years later you start menstruating and basically you feel like you are going to 'bleed' for the rest of your life. As you get older -- you of course hear about menopause -- like it is a destination -- a place sometime in your 50's when all monthly visitor leaves for good -- but NOONE -- talks about perimen...LOL....quite the shocker....and it has been for BOTH of us...and we are both women. I do feel bad for every straight guy out there. As a woman, who very well may enter this time of my life in the near future -- I am struggling with supporting the 'stranger' who used to be my best friend -- who was nice and thoughtful -- caring and loving -- and yes -- my intimate and sexual partner....she is seemingly gone on sabatical -- left the building -- and does not have the ability to talk about it like many of you do here. Now I am not condoning a guy who acts like an ass -- and all he is wondering about is -- where has the sex gone --- but, it is a part of the equation. I do wonder if my wife and I will every be intmate again....i do miss her dearly in that capacity...but moreover, I miss my companion....and unfortuatnely, she is not a great communicator -- so i have come into the group to read and possibly to ask a few questions (non intrusive I hope) to glean a litte more understanding so I can be more supportive and also better take care of me during this time.....I do not know if this makes much sense...but next time a guy asks about sex...asks him what does he really miss about his wife....I am sure it is much greater than just sex....it truly is the whole package...at least it is that way for me...

All I can say to the men out there about the lack of sex is that it is a lack of hormones. Our sex drives can go in to the toilet. We dont like it, its just how we feel. When men go through manopause it usually happens to them and their performane lacks. So dont be too hard on us husbands. It isnt something to post on this website. Talk to your wives instead.

I can relate to gingerfrosting about missing the whole package. My husband says Ive changed as a whole. Guess menopause does that. But when menopause dies down it gets better. We may be changed and discovering how those changes can be made into a positive can be good.

Maybe they are just trying to understand it and want to know if this is normal for it or if it is a sign of other things.
They came here for a reason...looking for answers like the rest of us. Don't think we should assume the worst about their intentions.
Menopause effects the whole family not just we ladies going through it.

Hi, I understand that they want answers also. Yes, it does affect the whole family. However, I feel that this site should be limited to women. We may not all have the same symptoms but we surely understand what it feels like going through this stage of life. Reading the post help me to understand that I was not going crazy or had some terrible disease. The other day I posted about sour/funny taste in my mouth and a man answered. I know he was trying to help but I felt a little funny about him answering me. I post here because I feel comfortable with the women here. I don't want men joining in here. I agree the should have a group for them or direct their wife to this site. I hope that I don't offened? anybody. Sorry I don't know if I misspelled anything. Today the mental fog is a little bad. Good day LADIES.

I understand both sides to this discussion. On the one hand, women should feel comfortable to post whatever they want on here, but remember that we can't control who reads these posts. On the other hand, these poor guys are trying to understand what their wives are going through from others who are going through it also. We complain that they don't understand what we are going through and then we complain when they want to understand. Husbands don't get the information from other husbands because they are just as confused by this. They need to ask the people going through it. Just my opinion.

The thing that bugs me is they have one question....sex. When you ask them to have their wife get on this site, its always the same answer ... their wife wont get on the site. How in the world are we going to know how to get a guys wife to have sex with him?