get checked by a doc there is a good reason why I am sure

Yes, I can definitely relate, I'm sorry to say. I'm 53 and have only been married for three years (second marriage). ...When my husband and I were first married, we made love morning, noon & night...every day!
I kid you not!
I did have a partial hysterectomy over ten years ago out of medical necessity, but also made sure one ovary was left so I didn't go into immediate menopause. So my menopausal symptoms did ocurr gradually and naturally, which I'm pretty sure I'm all the way through by now. I am currently on 'Bio-Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy' and also supplements for abnormal neurotransmitter levels, d/t recent genetic mutations that have surfaced this year, and am currently under the care of a Functional Medical MD (These are Dr's who specifically try to get to the 'root cause' of diseases and illnesses.)
The MTHFR mutation is one of them and is a biggy, if you'd like to research it. It's more common than most people know and many mainstream-medicine Dr's have never even heard of it!
I've have had copious life stressors since my hysterectomy that seem to have caused these mutations to rear their ugly heads, so have also consequently had extremely low serotonin, dopamine and epinephrine levels.
Anyway, long story short-or maybe I've made it too long idk...bottom line is, I have lost ALL (and I mean all) desire to have sex too, and it hurts...it really does. My poor husband, who is the same age as me, has the libido of a 30 year old! He remains so patient and understanding, bless his heart. But I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, dear one. Sincerely, I want to WANT to be sensual and sexual, but it just ain't happening yet. I've recently been thinking I need to also force myself to exercise more, as I already try to eat right, take pre/probiotics, along w/ these excellent supplements and specific vitamins for my situation. My precious husband continues to love me unconditionally and excepts, what I hope and am trusting is only temporary.
For goodness sake, my 85 yr old dad and 76 yr. old stepmom still have sex (don't ask me how I know that), so I know it's something that definitely still happens in the the twilight years! And we're a lot younger than them!
I'm gonna just keep hanging in there though, and choose to believe it's a temporary phase, as I'm still getting my poor body back in order. And you may too, want to get your hormone levels checked. But be careful of routine HRT medications, as they're not as adapting for your body and have been known to predispose some women to cancer. Please research Bio-Identical HRT, if it turns out that your body does need some help in that area.
So hang in there, cuz you have someone else who empathizes right along w/you :) Blessings and hugs to you, and I hope you find some specific answers too. ...You're way too young to have this happen for no valid reason.

Hi Linda,

I hate sex too. I am too tired and it's usually painful. Don't know if it's menopause or not but it ain't happening in my house.lol Often times doctors will prescribe anti-depressants. I know mine did. No not for me. But I do take Xanax. I have too I am a mess since this crap started.

So you are not alone. I've been married 25 years and my husband still has the libido of a 16 year old.

I also have high Testosterone level and you would think that would help me in that department since that is a sex hormone. lol Nada!!!

Hang in there!

Vicki

hello Vicki
sex should not be painful ... it was for me for almost a year , and I thought nothing of it really .. then I had pain at the top of my leg , still just thought my hips hurt from heavy lifting at work , I finallt went to the doc , he sent me to an obgyn for an exam , I was getting exams every year like I am suppose to , here they did an ultrasound and found a 13 cm tumor in my small intestine , that's why I had painful intercourse and th leg pain ,turns out it was malignamt bause of its size, now I am on a chemopill for the next three years , so please get chcked, I had a rare form of cancer called GIST Gasterintestinal stromal tumor , good luck
Diane

I had painful intercourse for a couple years and after my hysterectomy, i found I had a polyp right inside my cervix, among other things. Get checked out.

Thanks Diane and hotmom for your concern. I have had transvaginal ultra sound where they found a cyst. I also had a Barium Swallow small bowl follow though. I have pretty bad acid reflux so that is why they did the Barium. Nothing found except an abundant amount of bowel in my cecum what ever that means. My doctor gave me those results over the phone. But don't think she seemed concern about it. I have an appointment with my P.A. coming up. So I guess I will get more information on it at that time. I have some other issues as well. but I am wondering if a cyst could be causing that pain. They did tell me the cyst was very small and should resolve on it's own. I hope so.

Ladies thank you for the information. I really appreciate it. I am sorry Diane and hotmom for all you two are going through and have went through! I hope you guys are doing good.

LInda I hope you are doing well and feeling better and not having any major issues.

Thanks again everyone and I hope we all have a blessed day!

vicki.

hi Vicki,
no problem happy to help.
I am doing ok ,thank you,
have a great weekend

My period ended over 4 years ago and my sex drive went with it. I feel totally asexual. But I used to like WANTING sex. My boyfriend is very patient. The last few times we had sex it was painful and I bled a little afterwards. The pain is in the vaginal walls (even if using lubricant), and my ob/gyn says it's because the lining of the vaginal walls gets thinner after menopause and basically "atrophy". So not only do I not want sex, but even if I did, it would hurt. Don't be embarrassed about it. It's your body!

I also have no libido and sex is a bit painful. This has been going on for about a year. The gyn. put me on HRT this summer but I bled for six weeks straight with full blown cramping, etc. I had not had a period for 5 years before this, so I was pretty upset. I did feel my libido return before the neverending period started, but I gave up on the HRT. I cannot bleed nonstop like that.

Wow. I thought it was just me! Yup, been a year for me too and it is somewhat painful for me and I bleed afterwards as well. We went through years of trying to conceive, and fertility treatments, up to 2 failed IVF's. I think that started the downward spiral for me and then peri menopause hit and whatever was left just went out the window. I feel "abnormal." You watch tv or talk to others and think "what is wrong with me?" One good thing, my husband is a great "hugger." I may not want sex but I crave intimacy and hugging and holding hands and THANK GOD, we still have that!

What turned me off of sex as I got older was (1) constant pressure to get cancer screenings, which caused me to view my erotic organs as just a time-bomb for malignancies, and (2) the way so many men are into porn and make sex ugly for women. Actually society as a whole has cheapened and degraded sex. I try to keep my past memories of good sex intact. Perhaps after menopause you will desire sex again. I hope so for your sake.

Let me start by saying thanks to all of you for sharing--I definitely feel less alone and now know that I'm not as crazy or as selfish as I was beginning to believe. Thanks to some of your suggestions, I will continue to research options and plan to discuss them with my physician

With that said...I just turned 48 and have had little interest in sex for nearly 6 years (my husband reminded me this morning). I had a hysterectomy at 35 and menopausal symptoms started around the time I turned 40. While my husband has been patient, I fear, rather I know--he's growing impatient--he is and has always been a very sexual guy and I can see that I"m ruining his self confidence.

Since my symptoms have worsened over the past several years--e.g. extreme dryness, discomfort during intercourse and no interest in sex AT ALL--I'm hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon!

Hasn't anyone tried the Estrace Estrodial Cream? It's just estrogen in a cream form. It helps to combat vaginal atrophy, and brings my sex drive back. I would think everyone's Dr would have prescribed this, once painful intercourse was mentioned?

librooks, you may want to get a mri or cat scan done or even just an ultrasound. I had pain in the vaginal walls too , didn't do anything about it, here in my ultrasound the doc dcted something, she thought it was an enlargd ovary, , I had more testing done and they found a 13 cm tumor in my small intestine.
Diane

Lavon - Since you are in early menopause which may also be more severe due to hysterectomy, are you on HRT or have you considered HRT? I had a hysterectomy 8 years ago (worst day of my life) and I cannot imagine going without HRT. Before getting adequate estrogen in my system, I was repulsed by sex. I am no longer repulsed but I don't have a libido per se. And sex isn't as satisfying as it used to be but I have overcome that disappointment for the most part.