Hi Vicki,

I understand! I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I hope what I write gives you a little comfort. You are not the only one who cancels all your appointments. I have done that and continue to cancel or not do many things I need to do too. Like going to OBGYN or back to my regular doctor because my anxiety or fears won't let me. Everyday is a struggle of some kind in one way or another. I am Ativan and just asked my therapist to switch me to Klonopin because it has a longer affect and hopefully can take less, because I feel like I am abusing the Ativan. My BP spike as well when I am anxious ALOT. The doctor has told me that the temporary spikes are not the same as having high BP for days or weeks on end because of a physical issue. They usually know when I go in and don't make a big deal about it. When I leave there and I will check it at home it has gone down by 30 points and is back to normal range. I also get better and then get worse because something happens and it feels like I am back to square one. When I was at my worst, I walked. I just walked. It was the only thing I could do. I would get in y car to go to the grocery store and would turn around, or abandon the car and walk home. I am struggling right now too and understand you completely. Don't be hard on yourself for what you are feeling, you are not the only one. One day this will pass..I keep telling myself that it WILL pass. Do what you can and breathe. Take Care

I agree with lovenhelp and I also understand how you are feeling. Maybe get a blood pressure machine and check it yourself at home so you get an idea of what it is on a regular basis instead of when going to the doctor and our anxiety is thru the roof. Also try to do at least one good thing for yourself every day, even if it is just taking a long bath, a nice walk, getting a massage or whatever makes you feel good even taking a long nap or watching a movie you like. I know it is very frustrating at times, but we also need to try very hard to be kind to ourselves and knowing that we are not alone with all this. Yes sometimes I don't want to be bothered by anybody, but it helps me a lot to come here to the group and check in and even if I have no magic solution to make this easier, it is good to know that we understand each other and are here for each other, so don't hide from us we totally understand how you feel and I pray that it will get better for us soon, it is a very difficult time. Peace and Love my dear friend. Be good to yourself.

Thanks Lovenhelp and enchanting,

I can always count on you ladies on here to give me a pick up after such a rough day! I feel like am letting even myself down when I start canceling appointments.

I feel like I am getting ready start my period again isn't that great!

I just had one a week ago and one two weeks previous to that!

I really can't wait for all of this to be over with!

Thanks again ladies!

Vicki.








1

I was feeling everyday that I was letting myself down too, then when I came to this board I realized it's not true. No one want to feel this way, the one good thing that is coming out of this is I am starting to realize what a blessing it is to have this board to share, help and be helped. What crossed my mind is how this was handled by society...women were probably deemed insane, or evil or so many things because no one knew how difficult this could be. I know before my period I act like one flew over the cukoos nest! I watched THELMA AND LOUISE when I was pmsing and lived through them! LOL

hi vicki, sorry u are having such a hard time at the moment...i too deal with anxiety and have huge issues trying to leave the house...u won't be the first or the last to cancel appointments because of your anxiety so don't let that worry u...my blood pressure can go thru the roof with my anxiety too even though I'm on bp meds...take it all one day at a time...thats how i live at the moment...and i pray it all gets better...best wishes to you honey...xx

Thanks shanny63,

I really appreciate that! I know how hard it is for everyone else. I read a lot of posts, most of them actually. I feel less alone when reading everyone's comments.

I hope you are doing well tonight!

God Bless you!

Vicki.

I had a hormonal imbalance and an extended perimenopause which lasted 10 crazy years due to chemotherapy , but I am happy to say that i am on the other side and it feels great. The worst symptoms, they say, should only last 2 years. Hope tho helps. Isabelle1954

you are not alone. My bp goes crazy high when I go to the doctor. I went through a period of terrible anxiety for about a year. Every time I went some where my heart would race, my legs felt like jelly, I felt off (like I was on a boat) and my vision was weird. I could only pick up a few items at the grocery store at a time, I think the fear of feeling this way kept it going. Thank God that is over with. The long periods or the two in one month sucks but as long as I have regular paps there not as scary as when I waited 6 years before having one (then I worried that something was wrong). My hot flashes have died down and so have the night sweats. Right now I have a mild case of ring of the ears. If its not one thing its another. Hang in there .....

Thank you isabelle1954, and bmason. I have nothing but awe and admiration for you great ladies on here! What a wonderful gift this site has been for so many people.. For me it's been a life saver. I feel so lost and alone sometimes! I come here and feel encouraged and at peace!. I'm feeling blessed for all of you!

I hope all of you are having a great night. I am praying for each and every one of you!

Love to you all, Vicki.

I can relate... I feel like I should copy and paste everything bmason said about anxiety. My doctor finally starting taking my BP at the END of my appointments... and it was significantly lower. Maybe you could ask your doc to do the same. She found that once we talked through most of the issues and anxiety that my anxiety and BP would be lower at the end of my appointment. I tend to get worked up before my appointment, especially if I'm having multiple issues.
I take Klonopin as needed. I've never taken Xanas so I don't know much about it, but Klonopin works for me. I also use aromatherapy and other natural products like Rescue Remedy as much as possible.
Hope you start feeling better.

It will get better. I know meds aren't for everyone, but I give them credit for saving my life. Menopause is and has been a terrible thing for me. Due to the meds (HRT, AD and antianxiety (ativan)) I am able to do what I want now. So, don't give up. It will get better. Blessings.

Thanks wildorchid and BoBSue.

I tried Buspar this week and it's another medicine I can't take. I take Xanax times 2 a day and am feeling like it's not enough or maybe my anxiety has increased I really don't know!.

Anyway, thanks you guys and thanks for the suggestions.

God Bless you both!

Vicki.

Hi....I haven't been on here in quite sometime.

I can relate to all of you. I went through some bouts of anxiety for about 8 years.... The last 3 were really bad. The first 5, I was just noticing things were different. My moods were not so nice, and I was having heavy periods. The last 3, from 2010 to 2013, we're so bad with anxiety, I too didn't want to leave my house, cancelled apps, made excuses about going anywhere. I went and did errands like grocery shopping and such, because I had to, and I did them quick...just in and out. I stopped driving long distances...sometimes my husband would want me to drive and I just couldn't. I got sharp pains in my head(like zaps), I felt dizzy, I felt like my head was a numb bubble. My thinking and concentration were off I felt fuzzy brain, just really weird. I was always afraid something bad would happen next when my head felt these ways. I didn't like going to places where I had to wait in long lines, I just had to keep moving...I didn't like going to the movies because it was just to long to sit. If I got a sudden wave of dizziness, I just had to get up. I was at the drs office every month, sometimes twice in a month. I even began to feel, that when I was there or when I called for an appt. I got the "you again" attitude.
They told me I had anxiety and gave me meds...I never took them. I told them it had to be something else that was causing this because I have never been like that. I enjoyed being out and doing stuff, traveling, shopping, etc. they gave me a brain scan, and thank god it came back normal. After many visits to the drs and tests, I began to believe that maybe I was ok, and I started to read/learn about anxiety and it started to get better. I then came across a website....34menopausesymptoms.. I started to read about all the symptoms and I could relate...I then came across this website and started to read about many women with the same symptoms, I realized I was not alone, I was not crazy, and I had to do something. I even read a lot of comments to my husband, to prove I wasn't crazy.
During these 3 years, I practically just lived day by day, I never wanted to plan anything ahead, because the days I felt bad were more than good days. My husband and kids went to many dinners and outings without me....I felt really bad, helpless and I felt like I was letting my family down, not being able to be there with them. In my heart I really wanted to be the wife and mother that I had always been, but these feelings were just taking over my real self. I went to my dr and told her to run a hormone test, I asked questions about peri menopause and she said I wasn't in menopause because I was too young...I'm 43 now. I have read that peri menopause can last upto 10-15 years. I started to do the math and things began to make sense. I told her everything I was feeling and every time she would just push the antidepressants, I told her I wasn't taking them. I finally made an. Appt with my old OBGYN. He reviewed the copies of tests that I took from my PCP, and he told me my levels were low and that I would be in menopause in about a year...he was right. I saw him in 2/2013 in Oct 2013 I had my last real period... I had one just a month ago in February, but it was very light, just spotting mostly. He said I could take Estroven, soy milk, and edamame...I didn't do any. My first relief came in 3/2013.... That is when I remember noticing my symptoms diminishing to almost nothing. The anxiety has gone away 95%...the head zaps, dizziness, foggy brain went away. I haven't really experienced a hot flash, I don't think. The others were my main symptoms. I am able to go out now. I am able to go out shopping and enjoy time with my family...I am so grateful and thank GOD, that I can be a better me. I hope & pray that I have overcome the last of peri menopause....now menopause! The only downside is that I developed a new issue, I now have been told I have hiatal hernia, bad acid reflux:( I think what helped me was that I finally got some answers, and not just my dr telling me I was fine and I should have no reason for the symptoms.

I wish you all peace....and remember you are not alone. It has to get better!

Thanks hopehappens,

I really appreciate you post. I feel just like you. I hope it gets better for me soon! I hope your doing well.

Vicki.

Thanks Bobsue,

I've seen your posts before and know how hard it was for you too. I really appreciate you comments. I am so glad you found some relief from this nightmare!

God Bless you too.

Vicki.