Hi JeanneA, unfortunately for some of us perimenopause turns us in to somebody else..the fluctuating hormones affects us not only physically but emotionally and mentally. For example I knew what I wanted to do before and I did it. Now, everything is a big deal that I can't even motivate myself to do things at time. I believe it is all part of the process for some of us who experience perimenopause symptoms. When I started this process two years ago I became afraid of clouds (lol). That is now longer the case but it just goes to show you how this can affect us. I hope things get better. How long have you been perimenopausal. If you read through the replies you will see that lots of women have different emotional issues that affect them during this time.

I am so confused. I was just diagnosed more or less with post traumatic stress syndrome. I had a brother die and found out my husband was having an affair all within a few months. Did not really have any problems coping until about 6 months later. I woke up and was shaking and could not breath. I've since been to many doctors and mental health care doctors and still find my self here at the menopause site, because I feel like some of it is due to me being 51 and I think going through perimenopause. I am not the same person as I was two years ago. I am on Xanax times two a day. I've been through a lot, but there are just certain changes that relate to the menopause thing, I really don't know. Have you had anything traumatic happen to you recently or any like that. I know If you go to the 34 symptoms of meno you will see anxiety as one of many side effects of meno. I'm like you I feel like I'm dying and can't really live my life due to all of this crap!!! Hope only for the best for you. Hang in there!!

Hi Ladies thanks for your replies, I do feel for you both. This peri/menopause certainly does seem to turn you into somebody else. I've been like this for just over 2 years now I think I am at the menopause stage as apposed to the peri-menopause as I haven't had a period in some considerable time.

I haven't gone onto HRT even though I did go to my GP 2 years ago and he put me on HRT but I decided not to take it as I was worried about the breast cancer possibility, so it put me off.

Our hormones certainly do affect us greatly. My emotions are all over the place, I get upset so easily now whereas I didn't before. I am also quite forgetful, are you ladies similar? I also find it extremely difficult to motivate myself. I am a part time cleaner and I never had any problems before in getting on with my job, was motivated but now I struggle so much, I find it difficult every morning in cleaning I don't know how I get through and get it done to be honest.

Vikki, I have been going through a traumatic time as I had to place my severely autistic son into a care home 2 years ago and for the past 2 years he has had to be moved 3 times due to the placements breaking down. I have felt so guilty blaming myself for things not working out for him, even though I know it wasn't my fault. However now he is in a fantastic home only 30 minutes away and he is very happy, which is great. I do though miss him living here, and that won't go away.

I feel for you Vikki, it sounds like you have been through so much, life can be very unfair. I do hope things get better for you. Us ladies have to support and be there for each other. Hugs to you both and to everyone else on this forum (( )) Thank you for being my friends.

Jeanne - the emotional instability side of menopause is the hardest. the GNC menopause vitamins I am taking has helped me with that a lot but I still battle it to a lesser degree. I am finding myself more forgetful as well. Someone told me today that they started taking ginsing and ginko and it has helped their memory and clarity of thought.

I own a housekeeping business of my own Jeanne, and I work long long hours. This week in prep for the 4th of July I worked 10 to 12 hrs every day. It was rough to say the least. I am going on caffeine, pain killers, natural remedies, pain patches, hydration, excellent vitamins and anything else I can think of to get through the days.

There is something else, Jeanne, I have an Autistic son as well. He is high functioning though and I know that is a whole different animal from severe classic Autism. He is 24 now and trying to make it in a one year program of culinary school. He is apartment sharing with other students. It is extremely challenging to him and I think he is about to go back on meds. At least until he gets through this program. He has pretty significant learning disabilities as well.

Vicki - I have to address this. My H and I have gone through the infidelity issue. I will not give any details here since it is the wrong forum for that. This one thing alone is earth shattering and core shaking for both sides. We are 2 years from Dday now and it has consumed us. Good has come from it through much hard work from both of us. My H is not a therapist, but he has past experience as a pastor and he is an author. He wrote a book of our story and some very helpful articles he has written. It is called Healing Infidelity and it has a companion web site called healinginfidelity.com. There is an infidelity support group here as well as a number of other related groups including a group my H started called Healing Infidelity Through Faith. I hope I have not overstepped this group. I could have sent it in a PM but I wanted to put it out there in case it can help you. I know going through all this trauma along with Meno can be absolutely crazymaking. Keep taking care of yourself and getting all the help you need to make it through this. Sending you ((((hugs)))

To Gabrielle48. Thanks for the information I will check it out. Any and all help is appreciated!! JeannA I have a fear of dying and never had this pattern of thought before. I have had several people tell me,"girl you are going through menopause"..................Yuck!

Sometimes this will happen. Don't be so scared. Take care of your diet. Add lots of vitamins to eat. Do regular exercise. Live healthy lifestyle this all will help you out. You can even take some supplements to get relief from symptoms.
http://www.thebeautyinsiders.com/menoquil-reviews.html

Yes, I do. Everyday it crosses my mind. I try to analyze everything too. Death, heaven etc...you get the picture I'm sure. I am post menopause and have been since 39/40 yrs old. I'm 44 now. And still going through all the emotional baggage of menopause or whatever it is. My dr told me to see a psychiatrist...soooo I made an appt. We'll see what HE says Thurs. I have already talked with the counselor, I told her I was already educated on anxiety, that I thought everything I was going through was hormonal. So I've talked with my gyno who also tried putting me on Wellbutrin...I was afraid to take it. Its a stimilant. I'm don't need to be "stimulated" lol...I take xanax daily. And have for 20 years and a beta blocker. I worry about death. I wake up in the middle of of the night and that's my thoughts. I don't know why menopause has done this. My mom never had any of this. She breezed through it

Hi ladies thanks very much for all the replies. Gabrielle, i don't how you can work such long days, I could never do that, I do admire you. You obviously understand well what it's like to have an autistic child. It certainly has been very difficult over the years.

Some days I seem better than others where my fear about dying is concerned. I am a very anxious person which has worsened since the menopause came along.

Jeanne, sometimes I wonder how I do it myself. Today I did 3 jobs starting at 6:45 a.m. and ending at 7:15 p.m. Not every day is this dang hard. I get "in the zone" while I am working and sometimes don't even know how tired I am till I am finished for the day. (but I still have to use all the stuff mentioned above to get through it) Right now I am so sore in my back and dozing at the keyboard.

I think the only reason I can do it is because I have to for right now but I can't wait until our life situation changes enough that I won't have to push myself so hard.

I have been worried that menopause will slow me down and I am not free to let up yet. I think I have slowed down a bit. it is a little harder to keep up the pace, but so far I am still managing. I am trying to rearrange my schedule to at least keep most of the days to about 8 hrs. That would make me much happier.

Hi Gabrielle, well I think you do so well, I feel quite lazy now. I guess I should push myself more, but it's not easy. The menopause is making me feel so 'low', I never realised it was going to be so tough.

Yes, I can relate to the anxiety. I had panic attacks and stomach problems, and a strange "feeling of doom". I overreacted to problems I would have. Elavil low-dose 20mg. helped with the sleep and the stomach. I am happy to say I am on the other side....so much calmer..this too will pass.....patience and courage ladies isabelle1954