Marijuana Addiction & Recovery Support Group
This community is dedicated to those looking to overcome their addiction to marijuana, a drug produced from parts of the cannabis plant. Join the group to find support among people who are also looking to cease their habit of smoking marijuana, share your experience, and get advice. It's not easy to kick the habit, but together we can.
I had 2 months and 3 days clean from Marijuana and I blew it!!
I had been tempted and thought I was safe, in a new country, where my friends don't smoke (anymore).
Then I went to her friends house with her and met a German guy who did...next thing ya' know we're talking about it and the difference between Holland Hash and Mendocino County bud and BAM...he rolls a hash tobacco joint, and offers it to me. I decline, because I have also stopped smoking a few weeks back. So what's he do? Pulls out a pipe and loads it. Without hesitation, I partook. WOW...I instantly remembered that feeling. And within a few minutes, I felt guilty and week and ashamed, then I thought "Fuck it! I'm on vacation, might as well enjoy the high, not gonna get the chance again."
And then, he GAVE me some hash, a pipe and a lighter!! But then my higher power kicked me in the butt and when we got back home, my friends husband FREAKED OUT about it and said I had to get rid of it right this second, as he works high security for the military and could get deported. So we went for a walk in the field and I dumped it.
Now some deer, or some dog is gonna get a hell-of-a rush (hope it's not my friends dog).
Funny how that all works out, huh??
So, now, I start over and work it one day at a time.
I had been tempted and thought I was safe, in a new country, where my friends don't smoke (anymore).
Then I went to her friends house with her and met a German guy who did...next thing ya' know we're talking about it and the difference between Holland Hash and Mendocino County bud and BAM...he rolls a hash tobacco joint, and offers it to me. I decline, because I have also stopped smoking a few weeks back. So what's he do? Pulls out a pipe and loads it. Without hesitation, I partook. WOW...I instantly remembered that feeling. And within a few minutes, I felt guilty and week and ashamed, then I thought "Fuck it! I'm on vacation, might as well enjoy the high, not gonna get the chance again."
And then, he GAVE me some hash, a pipe and a lighter!! But then my higher power kicked me in the butt and when we got back home, my friends husband FREAKED OUT about it and said I had to get rid of it right this second, as he works high security for the military and could get deported. So we went for a walk in the field and I dumped it.
Now some deer, or some dog is gonna get a hell-of-a rush (hope it's not my friends dog).
Funny how that all works out, huh??
So, now, I start over and work it one day at a time.
It takes drastic measures to stop using , and we have to learn no more people pleasing!!
The only problem is when you have some mj after a break from it, it feels really good, and now you have that image of the high in your head.
The reason i stopped smoking it was cause it wasnt feeling good for me anymore, and even though i desperatly wanted to stop, it was really difficult to do so. I have to remember that daily, cause i know from years of relapsing the first few days on it are great, but then my problems start.
i guess thats why the term getting hooked comes to mind, the substance is nice and easy on us till we are hooked on it, and then it turns on us, and just wants feeding with more and more of it, like a screamng baby.
Sometimes it takes us years to get to the stage where we are really sick of it.
I know it did me.
One of the things that made it hard for me to quit is that there are people like the guy that had the hash (it's great) and then there are people like the guy that freaked. Seems there's no inbetween.
I quit and it's been a week or so (I decided not to count the days, weeks, months, years) and I actually cleaned my house today!!!
Good for you for your confession. In the 12 step rooms they talk about moving or going on a trip as being a way we attempt to manage our addiction "a geographic". I would suggest going to www.marijuana-anonymous.org and reading Life With Hope. You are not alone!
I know a woman who went from here in so. Calif to Amsterdam to a new MA meeting there! It is a growing fellowship.
Without any recovery in 12 steps I don't see a lot of people living happy sober lives, Just my opinion.
instead of forgetting all of your hard work, and starting over in your mind, maybe you should forget that you screwed up this once, and keep going strong as you had been for 2+ months.
your recovery in your mind, and the recovery of your body, started over two months ago, not today, and it has not been erased by this one incident...so give yourself a break, and don't discredit all of the hard work that you've put into quitting because of one day.