Hi
Thanks for the encouragement, but I must say that asking people to look at their lives in a sanguine way and not dwell on what is lost is really dependent on "what you had in the first place" sometimes if you are an ordinary person, then losing means losing everything material. Add to this losing your health too and it really is too much to bear. Its not just my "loss" but my wife and kids lose too because I lose everything! I don't mean to sound critical of you, just wanted to give a further perspective, maybe your glass is half full!! Take Care Dave

I have lost alot, almost everything. I'm really trying to stay positive and hoping someone will join me. no offense was meant and I hope none was taken.

Lorraine,
Thanks for the reminder. It brought tears to my eyes.

I really try to keep a positive outlook, but I'm struggling to do that tonight. And not doing such a great job at it.

Your post was well-timed for me.

Jenn

Well, I had a panic attack today. So that's how I'm doing. But now that I've accepted the fact that I not only control Lyme, but the symptoms that come with it, I feel a little better.

The 400 MGs of doxy made me so sick and so fatigued I nearly checked myself in to a hospital. But my husband reminded me I need a doctor to admit me. So I called the office, and was taken off the doxy that abated a few symptoms but made me so sick I could hardly slug around the block. this apparently is "herxing", but to not take a chance, doctor's orders.

Honestly, in spite of it all, I'm relieved in a way as medicine is supposed to medicate, and yeah, you gotta get sicker before you get better, but hopefully, they'll find a way that doesn't make me spew.

anyways, good luck to all who post here! may your recovery come sooner than you could ever imagine.

In the meantime, my next appointment is on the 27th.

It's been a rough ride, but I'm hanging on. (to the saddle, the horses neck, grabbing the reigns and stirrup and when I'm bucked off, I get back on.)

I guess what I meant was, I can't control the lyme or the symptoms or even what comes next, i can only control my attitude. That's true w/ everything.

Hey, everyone, it may be all this bad stuff is coming out due to it being a full moon. So those of us w Lyme -- whether you're positive on the Western Blot -- or clinically diagnosed -- go out and give it good howl!

As you can see, I need the doxy or SOME antibiotic SOON!!!

Well, I have my moments of self pity and close to disgust at times....RBear, my story almost mirrors yours. We have had to remortgage our home to pay for my Tx, so I look at it that I am lucky we had the house to do that and try NOT to look at the 2600.00 mortgage payment each month. UGH! So far we have spent and sold everything we can...almost 40,000.00. I am getting healthier, and changing along with it. I will never be able to go back to my high stress career either, and am trying to decide what I can do. Often, I get panic attacks at the thought of leaving the house and was hoping these would go away FIRST. It appears they have chosen not to, so I have to deal with it. Ironically, I am (was) a crisis counsellor and even understanding where the feelings are coming from do not stop them. Guess I can't treat myself, LOL.

I missed my trip to Europe (my sister takes me once a year) due to this, was supposed to leave yesterday. So I had a good cry, allowed myself a few more hours to pout and am OK with it today. I am where I need to be for now.

To find peace, one needs to accept the NOW and keep hopes high for tomorrow's to come. That is the way I find to deal with it.

Yes Dave, there are always different perspectives and thank you for sharing where you are at. Perhaps just being thankful for a roof, some food and loved ones being around could also be construed (for some) as "half-full" as well.

Many healing hugs to all!

I get down and then kick myself for it but it is just a natural reaction to living with a serious disease process of any kind. It is life altering indeed. I am still trying to work in my career as a nurse simply because I don't really have an alternative at this point. I realize though that I will undoubtedly have to give it up soon. I look at my two youngest children daily and think it really stinks for them that I can't go out and play ball, heck I can't even hold them on my lap for long or my legs are in terrible pain. I try to just think of new ways i can share in activities with them where lyme doesn't get in the way. So many things I was planning that now have to be put on hold but hopefully not forever. It is a great burden for my husband who is now having to pick my slack around the house. It is impossible for me to work full time and keep up with the housework. I try to look at it all as an opportunity for me to work on growing spiritually and developing inner peace something that has seemed far out of reach for me when I was living a very fast paced life. I am seeing my primary care dr. tomorrow and am determined to convince her that I need a LLMD on my case I hope it goes well. Love to all its great to have you here!!!

Hi Rbear66.....Not only do I suffer from Lyme, but this past December I also got the Shingles!!!!! Talk about pain....I don't know which one is worse. I too "had the good life" but I also appreciated not requiring much to make me happy. My problem is....now that I have BOTH diseases to deal with, I can no longer work at a "regular" job. I tried the "medical transcription" school from home thing, but I found the school that I was going to was ridiculous and you pretty much needed your Masters Degree in punctuation and they constantly changed the rules. So I'm back to trying to find some sort of "legitimate" work to do from home. I've owned my own business's, I've been a freelance writer for more than 25 years (just not a steady pay-check so that sucks) so could you email me to let me know exactly WHAT kind of work from home that you found? I've spent the past three years of my savings and the way I figure it, I've got about two months left before I'm penniless. I'm can type, I can do books, I can copywrite, I can do marketing and I love to research. I'm qualified but good-gawd, I can't find anything but scams on-line.

Any help would be so greatly appreciated. Thanks, Shantiann

My email address is: alxkwriter@yahoo.com and anyone else who may be reading this and may have any ideas, please feel free to email me too!