Hi SleepyT,

I have been on both sides of the fence on this topic, been the one getting the review and the one giving the review. I don't know your situation at work of course and how open you are about your health. In my situation my boss was the only one who knew about my condition for many, many years. I just didn't care to share, mostly because lupus is one of those diseases that others don't understand and I didn't want to be treated differently if I was out of work.

I know from experience most people just don't know how to respond to someone with an illness, they try to say "I understand" it's kind of like when someone dies the standard is "I'm sorry for your loss" right? So, try not to be too hard on your boss, perhaps she is one of those people who just doesn't know how to talk to you about your illness and she's trying the best she can.

Now, onto the suggestion, do you normally make suggestions on procedures and such? Or is this out of the norm for you? If I were you I would have told her it was not that you were venting but thought while you had her attention you would bring the issue to her attention.

I know how it feels to feel poorly and be at work. It sucks for a lack of other words. But try to remember, others truly don't know how we feel and a lot of the time it is more ackward for them for us, try not to be so hard on them.

I know when we are feeling bad it's hard not to lash out due to their ignorance, but just take a deep breath, you will end up being the better person in the end.

Melissa

SleepyT, Mel has summed it up very well....sometimes people are really awkward when dealing with colleagues with illness...and when you are ill and still working, oftentimes your pain and frustration builds and you tend to get a bit of a short fuse at the end of the week. It's difficult being a type A personality, which I'm guessing you are because you seem very committed to doing a good job...add Lupus to the mix and ...well...things get a little heated. Try and not be so hard on yourself...this will filter down so to speak...and you'll find your workmates easier to bear. I know...I've been there...love, light and peace

At work we don't have to tell our bosses what we have. We tell the absence management center and set up a FMLA (family medical leave of absence) for the potential # of days that we need off work to take care of our condition.
But my boss knows that something is wrong - it is a road that I will not cross with her. I have told a couple of people at work. One rolls her eyes if anyone asks how I am doing and if I say its a bad day. The other totally understand because she has RA.
I don't understand why your boss would react that way unless she is uncomfortable with your illness. If your suggestion was good and will help efficiencies and or streamline any process she should be thrilled.
People can be such dummies. Keep you head up!

I find myself going into detail about my illness and test to justify by absences from work. Why? because i here comments like "the team is struggling"- work loads etc, guilt overcomes me - so stressful.

Ann

The others have given you some good feedback. We have one on one's with boss regulary too.
Her comment about letting things fester could have meant that she would have liked you to go to her earlier about the broken procedure. I know thats what my boss would have meant.
As for her comment about how bad it is for your health, I would take it as a grain of salt. As Melissa said it is a standard response people make to acknowledge that you have health issues so may be struggling.
Take a deep breath & do the best you can.
I know easier said than done, but look at it that at least she listened & acknowledged.
Take care
Sue

Thank you all so much for listening. I do get too frustrated. I try very hard at work to be professional. When I am in a professional situation I don't want my illness 'assesed'. That is what the Dr.s are for, right. But she is a really great boss. My defenses were down (or up?) and you are right,that pain does cause a short fuse. I have also not known what to say...a co-worker of mine lost his son, 15 yrs old, to a freak accident in baseball. I am ashamed to admit it but I would avoid him, I just didn't know what to say.