I completely understand! I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I have been living with lupus for 9 years. The weather, stress and lack of sleep always cause me to have flares and it seems to take longer as I age for the symptoms to subside. I no longer work and chose to stay at home when I had my son and between caring for him and the house I am wiped and sometimes I just have to let things go. The shoulder pain is excruciating-I have it in my right shoulder and elbow (it inflames so badly that I cannot straighten it out). It's so frustrating when you can't do things that people take for granted; i.e. lift a coffee mug, press buttons, pulling a shirt over your head-I could go on and on. I hope you start to feel better soon and can get through your shifts.

My feelings as well! I could have wrote your post. I am so weary of feeling this way. Almost everything we do in our day takes such an extreme effort. At times I feel as if I'm just spinning my wheels. It takes a ton of energy just getting up and going to work, but like you I also need the money. I am on 6 different prescription drugs and my medical bills just keep coming.
My flares are constant. And sleeping, well forget about being comfortable. My shoulder is shooting with pain both night and day.
I am grateful that I no longer have children at home. I don't know how I would manage taking care of them as well. I don't know how those of you that have kids do it, but I really sympathize with you.
I am thankful for this group and to have someone else who can understand how we feel. Before I had all these crazy autoimmune symptoms I would have never understood it either, it's almost indescribeable.
I hope you can have a better day soon. Hang in there!

I think the fact that you make it alone through 12 hours one day is huge. My fatigue is so bad I cannot work at all out of the home. So I don't know how you do it. If I don't rest when I need it my body will just start to shut down and I can't even think straight with the brain fog and fatigue. Of course everyone is different. I have my good days but then it just hits you out of blue out of left field and puts you in bed. Try and rest lots to make up for it.

Very grateful that one of my coworkers is working half of my shift today. She will be here in about 30 minutes. Going to go home and lay down. My right arm has been killing me.

Allison, I wish I had the option to not work. I cut down to part-time after my initial diagnosis, but have had to pick up extra hours because of some financial issues we're going through. We are trying to prepare to move back near my family where we'll have more support, and hopefully I can be a stay at home mom (or work very little). This is in the works, and I hope it all will happen.

Thanks for all the responses!

Oh Shespott, I second mamawjo, I could have written that post too! I have a couple of days a month where I cannot fall asleep, like up until 3:30 then feeling like a zombie the next day. Always thought it was hormone related, but now I know! Sometimes nothing is comfortable and I feel wired, so staying up late and surfing the net or reading is the way I go. It's annoying when you have to get up the next day, but otherwise I use it for my own personal play time the best I can. It's all I can do!

Crystal