Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group
This community is a place where you can share your long distance challenges and triumphs, vent, give long distance tips and ideas, or just get support from people like you who are going through the same thing. Whether you live a couple hours away or a couple continents away, the specific challenges that face a long distance relationship are unique and difficult.
I have been in a long distance relationship since May 2008 and now I am coming to terms that maybe I am foolish to care or believe that this guy wants me as close as I want him. He lives in Manhattan,KS and I live in shawnee,ks which is 2 1/2 hours away. Yet we are unable to see eachother as frequently as we would like. Both of us are a different race and equally our parents would be unsatisfied and openly have expressed their harsh personal beliefs of us being together. We have had our ups and downs but it's become harder because we have different cirmcumstances, one being I am single mother of one child. He is not quite sure what he truly desires to happen and leaves fate to decide what should happen. Though both of us equally express love for one another in our own ways, his is different way. He is very introverted and does not openly express his emotions verbally nor does it ever want to clear the air on some issues until months later.I feel trapped into loving a person I can never have, I can try to not talk to him but he is my friend as well and he gives me advice. I feel accepted and loved by him but then I am confused because the comes silent more so than ever. Almost like the times here we verbal fought with one another throught phone and email. Now we don't do that as much, yet if I ask him if everything is okay he waits two days to answer anything or avoid talking about it. Nothing bad has happened, but I told him a week ago that it would be okay if he had to go to school on a different continent or state because I know as a person he needs to grow in different ways. he always tells me he used to travel and has been looking for school programs but are out of state. So I thought I was doing the right thing by telling him that and now he has been quiet, has shut down talking about anything involving a relationship. I can't find out wat exactly is missing or why he seems off a little but at the same time I can't end anything.I want to give up on love period, I never knew loving someone could be so difficult and hurtful at times at levels which I never had experienced at the th time.Maybe people grow in different directions but still love eachother yet have to let go.
deleted_user
Even though you're both in the same state, after two years, he should know what he wants by now. It really seems like the pair of you are on different pages altogether and want very different things. He's living his life for him and looking into moving further away from you. You have your answer right there. If he isn't making decisions with you as a couple and doing things that benefit BOTH of you in the long run, then he just isn't committed to this relationship in the same way you are. It sounds like you would have this problem with him even if you lived in the same city. You shouldn't settle for such a one-sided relationship...you deserve better.
deleted_user
Apparantly I can't do math...after THREE years.
katy84
Thank you, yeah I have thought myself maybe it is time to move on. It just flippin sucks getting to that point where you have to do it. I thought I knew what it takes to love a person but it's completely exhausting and painful because you want to keep trying yet it doesn't matter because it doesn't get anywhere. Sucks fighting for someone and finding it was completely meaningless later.Well I guess now I just face the music.
deleted_user
It sucks for sure to be in a relationship where you're the one that has more invested (I've been there done that more times than I can count), but that doesn't mean you don't have what it takes to love a person. Far from it in fact. You've dealt with far more than most would have and it's just a matter of finding someone you're more compatible with. It wasn't all for nothing either. Everything we go through in life (both the good and the bad) shapes our future in one way or another...we just can't see the reasons why yet.
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