Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group

This community is a place where you can share your long distance challenges and triumphs, vent, give long distance tips and ideas, or just get support from people like you who are going through the same thing. Whether you live a couple hours away or a couple continents away, the specific challenges that face a long distance relationship are unique and difficult.

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/ Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group

Mixed signals

hopelessromance
hopelessromance
I met this woman I'd been talking with on FB for a while and when I did it just confirmed what I felt and I knew I was already in a bad marriage. When I got back from this biz trip, I started divorce proceedings but with this LDR in my mind as the goal to eventually start a relationship. We just clicked and I'd send cards and in those cards, gift cards, rose petals, etc. I made known my feelings for her and she for me. I would get texts from her and I'd respond and just be happy she texted me. That just told me she was thinking about me. I would call every day if at all possible and we would talk for hours. So the texts have been getting less frequent and it would be me who would send them. Calls less frequent and less time talking. So today I texted here telling her I just like the sound of her voice and that it's music to my ears as is her laughter. The response I got in return?? I'm starting to feel suffocated. What the hell?? She texted me in the beginning like crazy, now....less and less. I feel like it's falling apart. So I said sorry in response and I wont text her unless she does me or call unless she wants me too. LDRs....some days are better than others. Does anyone else go through this? I haven't even been on a real date with her.
She has MS so I know she doesn't need any stress, believe me I know. My youngest brother died from it and my sister has it. I sure would appreciate any suggestions. Today was just a bad day and I've been super sensitive with this relationship. I've shed a few tears over how happy in love I am with her. Never did that before.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It does seem to be going very fast.. maybe she does need time to slow things down and process the newness of the relationship.

Maybe the MS symptoms worsened and she does not want to tell you or disappoint you.. Best wishes
hopelessromance
hopelessromance
I found she wanted to evaluate where she was going. In her mind she still had thoughts about someone in a relationship that was messed up. He called her his whore and got caught online by her going behind her back for young teens, he in his 50's. I told her he would still keep doing that. Though she ended that relationship, I have trouble understanding why the thoughts about him. I can't compete with that and as painful as it is, I had to end our relationship. I can't be with someone wondering if they think about someone else. I wanted honesty from her and wasn't getting it. I poured out my heart to her. Now I have to deal with the hurt and re-evaluate where my life is. Sometimes love hurts. I just wish she had fought to keep us together, c'est la vie.
faykay
faykay
How much effort did you actually put into your marriage? Did you consider putting all that time, energy, and enthusiasm into the relationship you were already committed to or was it just a lot easier and more fun to look for something else?
Just saying.
hopelessromance
hopelessromance
Faykay, you were right. I think my wife needed a wake up call, so to speak, to get rid of emotional baggage she had. She came from a broken home and didn't have good coping skills. That's changed. We're back together and the right thing to do would have been to give her a second chance, which she and I have given each other. She nearly commited suicide and I'm so grateful she didn't. I tell her I'm glad she wanted me back and forgave me, nearly every day. We are in marriage counseling and it's helping. On a different note, one of my HS classmates from '76 divorced his HS sweetheart a couple months ago, and I learned two days ago his wife commited suicide. So sad. That tells me I can do better in my marriage and nothing can break us apart. My wife has changed for the bett and we make time for each other, nearly as much as when we were first married. Things are looking up and my daughter and son-in-law are really happy about us. Our daughter fell down on the floor and started crying when I called her mother and asked her back. 32 years has to be fought for. My wife wants to know how I'm feeling every day and I so appreciate it. We are communicating, too. We're in a good place at last. No more ruts for this couple.
faykay
faykay
So happy to hear that! If there's love, there's hope.