Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Support Group

This community is a place where you can share your long distance challenges and triumphs, vent, give long distance tips and ideas, or just get support from people like you who are going through the same thing. Whether you live a couple hours away or a couple continents away, the specific challenges that face a long distance relationship are unique and difficult.

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How do you decide

rainBowsLoveMe
rainBowsLoveMe
How do you decide who moves where. There are alot of different circumstances that it boils down to. Whether someone has a job, a more secure living place, more desirable living place, whether they're still schooling, etc. How do you decide who makes the commitment, when. When the waiting becomes too unbearable? When a person's own self needs/dreams have become fulfilled? Wanting to be together, but also having to accomplish other things can be very straneous when you also CHOOSE to extend the distance and even make the distance longer. I know because I'm making my LDR much harder by moving all the way across the country. How do you decide who commits to the move?
deleted_user
deleted_user
For me, we're older so it's a bit easier. School, establishing a career and all that is long over with. I'll be moving to NC and the reason we decided I'd be the one moving is because my sons are grown and out on their own, his son is grown and in the Marines but his daughter is still a minor.

Eventually we'll be moving back up here to the Northeast where I'm from. He's lived in NC for 30s years but he's originally from the northeast, he hates living in the south and wants to move back up here once is daughter is done with school and living her own life.

Don't give up your dreams and things you want to accomplish, if the relationship is worth it, it'll stand the test of time and distance. Partner and I have been LDR for almost 5 years now, it'll be 5 years in September, I'll be moving within the year but we've held it together all this time with no problems.
deleted_user
deleted_user
For us, it was a very easy decision. I hated where I lived and there was really nothing keeping me there. I always wanted to live where he is so I knew when the time came that I would be the one to relocate (we have a MUCH better quality of life here all around). The other option we had was to both move somewhere neutral. We ultimately decided against that because that would require both of us starting over at the same time and potentially not finding jobs right away...or ever.
BabyMonkey
BabyMonkey
For my boyfrriend and I he was the one that made the move. He lived in California while I lived in NY. I was still in college finishing up my last yr. He moved out here march 2011 when i was 21 and he was 26. He had lost his job and was doing what he could to earn income. The only thing really keeping him there was family. The economy wasnt very good there altho it doesnt seem to well anywhere but he found a job almost right away after he moved out here. I think he was also ready for new surroundings and change. He seems to like it out here. The only thing he stuggles with is making friends out here like good ones like u have back in high school. That is really the only thing that holds him back out here. It is definitely hard to make friends when u move to a new place. But i think once he does his life will be more well rounded.