If it doesn't feel right, then probably something isn't right about it. You're right to be cautious and you have a son to think of too. Do you feel this man is taking advantage of you in some way? Maybe he's just poor but really likes you. I agree the phrasing meet and greet is a little off. He might be nervous? I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. Of course he could be already in a relationship, married or a con artist. Just take care. Anyway, you have the option not to continue with these calls etc.
It sounds like you've encountered some dodgy men? And trust me, I have too...but I try not to tar them all with that brush. I don't want to expect the worst of people. I still have hope if one day finding a good one. I hope you keep that hope too.
I hope you won't feel too lonely. I'm alone too on holidays. I'm decorating. I know it's harder with a younger child.
Enjoy your day with him.

The sad thing is some guys think that the lonelier and more depressed the female is the more likely she is to do anything to be with someone. Also a sad fact, some females, actually do. I've known a few in my time. They knew the guy was cheating and spending his money on his car, his clothes or video games and systems. Some guys were spending 100's of dollars on SNEAKERS and had the females paying his bills. I grew up in a male dominated family, so I saw a lot of this first hand. I have a cousin who was getting wardrobes, clothes, shoes and sneakers, jewelry, cologne, tattoos even groceries and he wouldn't even let the girl spend the night, and she went for it. She was struggling to pay her own bills and he was chilling. She would give him sex and couldn't even spend the night because the prettier girl, who made him breakfast and cleaned his home and did his laundry and either packed his lunch or gave him money for lunch was spending the night and he married a whole other person. The woman he married was the woman who didn't let him use her, the woman who made him act like a responsible man and made him wait for sex. She showed him that she was worth more than he was willing to give at the time and he did what he needed to do to be with her and they are still married and have 3 boys and a daughter and to meet him now, you would never think he was ever THAT guy.

Thanks for the reply Solus. Please do not give this guy the benefit of the doubt, he's a clown, period. For a minute I thought that he would actually care about me and my son, but no, I think he just wants to prey on a single mom like me. He has no children, he "claims" he's busy with work and school, so why would he even ask for my number??? Why would a man with no children want to date a woman who has a toddler child??? WTF??? My ex was a predator and user, which is why we are no longer together. He is a sociopath that manipulates and abuses women, he had a pattern once I found out more about him on my own.

This new guy works in an ER where I'm sure there are nurses and other moms that come in that he could hit on. I don't even know what made me give him my number. I kept telling him I'm not interested. We rarely communicate now. This is the norm with men where I live, I'm just being honest. Most of the guys here are bums that just want to use women and waste their time. Every time I try to get to know a guy, he turns out to be a user or just someone that talks to me and then disappears. I'm not interested in dating anymore men here. I have had enough. I'm a bit more pessimistic than most because I have to be. I have survived a LOT, a whole lot. I cannot afford to let my guard down again, I have a little boy to protect. I am currently working on myself. All I ever attract are dirty bums that want to use me for something. Now I just say no to them, period.

Life is hard enough but what makes me so damn angry is how these men find vulnerable women and just try to manipulate them. These broke mofos need to stay under the bridge where they belong and they can rot. I hate to be negative but I'm tired of this shit. I have a neighbor that was robbed by the filthy bum she allowed to move into her house. She came home one day and all of electronics were gone! She is disabled, so of course the guy conned her into letting him move in and since her self-esteem is low and she's lonely, she let him just move in after knowing him for a few weeks. The police couldn't even find him. That's the type of shit that pisses me off. Who do these bum men think they are??? Sickening.

@Tired 51, thanks for the reply. I vowed to myself and God last year that I was done with bum dudes, I put up with it for years because I was often lonely, depressed, desperate, and suffered from low self-esteem. Not anymore. I was always the one trying to help and care about people and never getting a damn thing in return. Since then, I have stopped helping people and I am embracing being single. I deserve better and so does my son. I am very lonely and some days it really hurts, but I try to look on the bright side, which is that I don't have to deal with any drama or stress from a POS guy.

These sorry men have some nerve trying to use a woman. If they are broke and homeless, then there are shelters or they can live under the bridge with everyone else in that situation. I don't even have much to give or take. I'm a single parent just trying to raise my son as best I can. The past few years have been rough, but I made it through. I ended up pregnant unexpectedly and my son's father abandoned us, he felt that his other family was more important, plus, I don't think he wanted a black child (my son's father is Hispanic, I'm black). Let me correct that: Most Hispanics are also black, but many of them would rather just claim they are Hispanic for whatever reason and ignore their actual race of being black since Hispanic is an ethnicity. I'm not raising my son to be hateful or ashamed of who he is. Not happening. I have moved on. I just do not want to end up in another situation with a POS dude that will leave me with kids to raise. My son was a miracle baby after I thought I could not get pregnant. He will probably be my only child from what doctors are telling me. That in itself has contributed to my loneliness and depression. I'd rather just remain single for the time being. If I can't seem to attract a decent guy, then I'd rather just stay lonely. Being alone is not the issue since I'm introverted, but some of these lonely nights really do get to me. Thankfully, I have my faith, yoga, and the music really does motivate me. Being single is the new paradise as I like to say. It sure is better than being in prison for beating the hell out of some bum or killing him. None of these trash POS men are worth my anger or freedom.

When I get angry, I remember that I live in a death penalty state, so that alone should scare anyone into not committing serious crime, but naw, some of these idiots don't even care that they could face the death chamber if they take someon's life. Sad.

I have come to realize that men aren't men anymore. They are boys pretending to be men. Some of them have jobs and make their own money and yet that still isn't enough. Some of them even know that the women they date are single mothers and are struggling trying to make ends meet, but, they still don't have a problem taking their money. They watch them struggle, they listen to their problems about their struggles and the whole time all they are thinking about is what they can get from them and how much and how often they can get it. The sad thing is, when females do this sort of thing, we are whores, sluts, skanks and gold diggers. When men do this they are men with game. Women/females, have to learn to value themselves above anything else. If you have children, there is nothing wrong with valuing yourself so you can be a strong example for your children. A strong woman can overcome many obstacles and get things done. A weak woman will stand for anything as long as she has a male to snuggle up to. Buy a stuffed animal or an extra large pillow and snuggle up to that. I can do bad all by myself, I don't need a male to validate me, I am capable of validating myself. I think back on all of the things I've been through, the times I felt like there is no light at the end of tunnel and I am not going to make it and I MADE IT!!!! I am still here and I didn't give up. I think back on raising my 2 kids while their fathers had already moved on with their lives and I THOUGHT they were happy doing so. I think about when I was on dialysis, after I had my stroke, when I lost my first kidney transplant, the two times I almost died, all of my hospital stays, I got my bills paid, there was food in the house, the lights and the cable were on, a weak woman could not have done that. Through all of that I asked for help and I didn't get any. I didn't qualify for food stamps, they took away my housing voucher because I wouldn't put my son out in the streets, I MADE IT!!!! God can do wonders if you let him, if you trust in him, you can get things done. I remember crawling through my apartment because I refused to use a cane or a walker and I was not going to be wheelchair bound, I MADE IT!!!! Women are a lot stronger than we think or give ourselves credit for. A lot more of us need to tap into that and we could be unstoppable. Instead of physically killing these fools, kill them with kindness. Smile all the time thinking I DON"T NEED YOU!!!! I am capable of taking care of myself. Cry when you need to because that is a release. Crying lasts for a moment, joy can and will last forever, but, only if you let it. Do you know how amazing you are? The things you can do? I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!!!!!! Males prey on women because they know how strong and capable we are, so when they find one who is down and depressed, it behooves them to keep us there. NOT THIS CHICK!!!! Like I said, I can do bad all by myself. It took me a while to learn this, but, now that I know it, I will not allow ANYONE to diminish the work God and myself have put into making me the person, the strong, intelligent, capable woman that is me. It's you too, it's all of us. Just remember, if males were the ones who had to carry the babies, there would be a lot less people in the world. WOMEN ARE AMAZING, RESILIENT CREATURES, UNIQUE AND AWESOMELY WONDERFUL, EACH IN OUR OWN BEAUTIFUL WAY!!!! GOD BLESS AND STAY STRONG!!!!!!

Thank you for such a beautiful post. I co-sign everything you just said!!!

Now, it feels great telling these lowlife users NO! I refuse to allow another user bum in my life. My ex still tries to call to get back with me. He only wants me because no one else wants him. He's a sociopathic married lying criminal that stalks and abuses women. He's been stalking me, and my mom too, for months. He is demented because a normal person would just move on. I already told him I do not want him anymore and that I am DONE! My mom does not want to change her phone number but this asshole continues to call. I changed my number though. The police and DA could not help me. Filing a restraining order won't do shit. He will only call from different numbers. He is doing what he knows he can get away with. If he comes by my house, he already knows he will be arrested. I told the DA's Office that I will do what is needed to protect my family, they said fine. If he tries to harm me, my mom, or son, I will slit his throat, I can promise you that. I am done being a victim. The state will not lock up these idiots until they commit a serious crime. Sociopaths do not stop until they are in prison for life or dead. What angers me is that prosecutors and judges don't care enough to do more to protect women BEFORE they are severely abused or killed. Even if these losers end up in the hospital for mental health issues, they only stay there for a few days and then they are released back on the streets to continue their behavior and find more victims. I find it ridiculous that women have to keep dying when all of this shit can be prevented. I'm just sick of it all. I wish I could just kill him, but no, they will lock my ass right up for murder. If I have to defend myself against him, I'll be lucky if I get off without serving time. Plenty of women are in prison for killing abusive partners and the DA and judge did not take pity on them.

I'm just sick of these POS sociopathic men that use women, and a lot of times, it's the broke mofos that need money, or a place to live, or can't find some other dummy to screw them. So now, even though I am lonely, I just say no. Men still ask me out of course, but my answer is no, especially when I KNOW that the guy is broke because that means he will really need me for something. Wealthy men don't have to beg women for anything. They might need a woman for sex of course if their dick works, but not for money or shelter. In a perfect world, I wish that my son had a father and someone that could love both of us and not harm or use us, but we don't live in that world. I'm fine with being alone and lonely. I refuse to be a doormat like most idiot women in my family. These men they settle for are NOT prizes. I think women just get desperate and they think marriage is some lotto ticket, so they settle for any guy that wants them that they can force to marry them. I just stay out of people's business because I don't want them in mine. If these women want to settle for losers, then let them rot, I don't care. I have been through enough. Obviously, God still has me here for a reason, because there are plenty of times where I could have died.

There were so many times in my life where I wanted to die. Sometimes, I would be heartbroken that I survived the night, I would pray that I would die in my sleep because I was going through so much and so broken inside. But no, I'm not taking the easy way out. I have just as much right to be here and finish my life as anyone else does. Plus, having my son strengthened me. I almost died on that operating table after having him and then I almost died months later when I totaled a car in a near fatal accident. So I know that God put me here to do some good. I have to just channel my anger and think of my son. He needs me even if no one else does or even if no one else wants me. I want myself. I have a pretty thick skin, so I will be fine. The loneliness is very hard to stomach sometimes, but that's just how things are. I have a hard time connecting and fitting in with people, so I STOPPED. I stopped trying to make friends or find someone to date. I don't even like having friends so I feel better just not having any, I really don't have the patience. I stopped going to dinner parties or gatherings. Now it feels so good to say no to people. I don't care if they don't like it. It's MY life and I will live it the way I see fit so that I can have a peace of mind.

I've left everything up to God above. When I get lonely, I just pray and meditate. I had to stop worrying about things I have no control over. If it is meant for me to find love or have another baby, it will happen. It really has nothing to do with me. I'm not religious, but I am spiritual and believe in God and His power. If my son ends up being my only child, so be it. I am NOT interested in any alternative to having children. It is MY Body and MY life. Everyone does not want to adopt or put unnecessary bullshit in their bodies to have children. I am not desperate. I already have one child that I conceived naturally. He was born healthy and beautiful. God did that, God gave me my miracle baby, not some arrogant doctor! My OB and his team were great, but God holds the power in situations like that.

I just get pissed the f*ck off when idiots try to tell me to adopt or use IVF or that I'm selfish for having an only child. WTF??? I'd love to punch them in the throat. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago to see an infertility specialist. I already don't care for most female doctors, so my OB sent me to see a specialist that turned out to be a complete dummy. This dumb doctor tried to put me on medication to increase my chances of pregnancy when I already told my OB that I am single for one, and NOT interested in hormones or anything that my body does not need. I'm just sick of doctors lately. They think they know everything. Like my OB said, who is also the attending surgeon, if I don't want to take something then I don't have to, period. Why can't other doctors and nurses get that??? Sick world we live in. Desperation is driving people to do the dumbest things. I feel sad for everyone that cannot have a child naturally, but I don't think it is healthy to be desperate for a child because you might end up doing something you might regret later. Being childless is not the end of the world. You move on with your life and you are grateful for each day given. Plenty of people did not make it through the night and plenty of people are on the streets with nothing. So instead of whining about not having a second child, I choose to focus on other things. One baby is good enough for me. He's in his terrible twos, and they are very terrible :(!!! But I love him dearly. He is my mini-me. The baby I thought I would never have. Seeing him smile each day warms my heart. I have no idea why God blessed me with a child, but I am so very glad that He did. Won't He do it :)?!

I identify with you alot. Men prey on women like us because they are lazy pigs. They don't want to work for a relationship or put time into one, so they look for someone they think is kind and strong and can take care of them if they keep us a little happier and less lonely.
I hate to say it but my bf is kinda like that. I house clothe and feed him but he works at a good job and helps me with my mom. I had a lot less before we got together, and I was alot less happy. The good thing about deadbeat men is they are already beat down pretty good. My bf is easy going and let's me boss him around. He is also very thankful and appreciative of anything kind I do for him.
I could never be with a manly man who is always competing with me. I'm the boss and that's that. I need emotional support, not abuse and snide remarks.
The sensitive intellectual type men are prob attracted to you because your attitude exhibits strength and experience. They also are intimidated so they approach you when you are vulnerable.
Maybe you should try out one of these men. Just tell them what you won't put up with and what you expect. That paramedic is likely too busy for you. But maybe he only said what he did about going Dutch and a meet and greet because you let him. You didn't act seriously interested and you didn't tell him that a lady shouldn't have to pay for her own food, even on a meet and greet! Correct him and if he gets mad and leaves so what? I would have told him only people who have been together seriously for a long time take turns paying, so he must be serious. Maybe it would scare him off.
I live in the Midwest and dating here is hard too. There are more women than men, and most of the people are homely sad white trash.
So compared to most people around I think I did ok with my bf, coulda been worse. That's why I don't still sit here alone miserable and picky. Nothing sadder than a single person.

Thanks for the reply Ghostwolf. I truly appreciate your perspective. Honestly, I live in Georgia, and I do not want to date anymore men here, period. The thing abut Georgia is that most people here now are not originally from here like me. So what we have is a host of beautiful smart women and not so good and not so attractive men. Most of the men here are married, diseased, homeless, or just bums, and the ones with more money don't seem to be very nice either. The bums still have jobs, but they seek out women to use them for something. It is disgusting and exhausting. I have yet to meet a guy here that does not want anything from me or just wants to take the time to get to know me. I don't think I will find that here. I stopped looking for companionship, dating, friends, etc. I grew tired of trying to fit in and make connections. I am who I am, period.

Like you, I'm the boss. And I like things done a certain way and I cannot deal with anymore controlling and abusive men like my ex. He was from the midwest but lived here in Georgia. I fell for his con and got heartbroken and chose to move on. I refuse to just settle for some bum just because I'm lonely. I just won't do it because I will be miserable. Hell, my thing is, a bum broke dude has no business with a woman or family he cannot support. I was just raised differently. These men want to complain about women wanting money, but they think it's okay to use a woman for sex or when they need a place to live or can't even buy or cook their own damn food! WTF??? We live in a sad world where men are not men anymore. I found the strength to just co-exist without having anymore bums in my life and I pray other women can do the same. The loneliness is very difficult some days, but I just refuse to allow anymore toxic people in my life. I deserve better. I like having a peace of mind and not having to live in chaos with anyone.

In many cases, a dinner can amount to rent. Maybe someone is saving for a good future. Dating in 20s & 30s should be Dutch unless someone insists. Why can't a great guy date without breaking the bank or a little support from the girl? Why so sexist? Guys you call losers? You make me sad for them. But then, the smart girl spots a diamond and makes him shine. As for these so-called "losers" maybe yours are. Mine never were. In life, there's always 3 fingers pointing back. Love, Mom