I'm sorry your struggling making girlfriends. What have you done to try to engage them?

I remember my college days. I had a few male friends but they were friends I knew in high school who chose the same college, I did. I stayed in a college dorm for a couple of semesters so my roommate and I grew quite close, but between classes and working, I didn't really have time to make friends. I just treated everyone I came across like they were already my life long friends and I seemed to get along with everyone. There were drinking parties I could have gone to on many occasions but most of the time I chose not to. It just wasn't my thing.. There were a few times I was lonely so I would contact what few friends I did have but much of the time I stayed away from the college crowd.

I can relate SO well to this post. I’ve been in the same situation as you for many many years.

I tried so hard for many years to make friendships with many different girls over the years but nothing ever seemed to work. All I got was heartache and felt left out and alone. Still feeling like what’s wrong with me. Yet I still tried so hard each and every time, was always so nice, did whatever they wanted to do, was always there for them, never said no, paid for everything, let them stay at mine, looked after them, let them treat me like poop.

I ended up giving up, saying it’s not ok, I don’t deserve this, I deserve better, this isn’t how a gf should treat you. It honestly wasn’t worth the hurt I always felt deep down.

Like you I’d meet guys so easily but I didn’t want to it’s not what I needed or wanted, I craved real honest girl friendships.

I’ve now just blocked myself off from it. Telling myself I don’t need it. I’ve given up. I don’t think I’ll ever find it. I don’t know if they exist.

I’ve often wondered is it me. Did I do something wrong. Or if I’d done this or that would it have made a difference changed things. As I would have in a heart beat.

But it is what it is. At least I’m not being used and hurt anymore, as it was pretty awful.

It’s very lonely as I don’t have anyone to talk to when I’m going through stuff, I bottle it up, deal with everything myself. It’s very sad.

I am sorry that you are going through this. I hope you know you are not alone...

I have been working on making girlfriends for years now... So far the things that seem to help the most are as follows:

Assume Positive Intent-It is probably not you (especially if you are putting yourself out there). Also shit happens and everyone has their own lives. They might have a lot going on and just need space...

Shit Happens- Everyone gets busy and has a lot going on. In your case you are in school, you have classes, as well as these other people, do, maybe they aren't doing as well as you. For me everyone has work to do, so they become busy.

Maybe your just missing it.- You said you had friends in high school. While our lives change and grow, perhaps you still have those friendships and you just need to reach out. The next part of this is that maybe you are apart of the group, you just are the quiet one...

Don't let your anxiety or depression get the better of you.- Keep trying, if your anxiety is making you question your friendships take a step back and ask yourself if it is real, or if it the anxiety. I have to do this step more often then any other because I find that if my anxiety is high about anything that I am more aware of that topic. (ie not showering for a day, and the topic at work revolves around smells...)

At 27, if you're talking about undergrad, then you're about 8 years older than the rest of the students. That's a huge age/maturity gap.

You might try socializing with some of the grad students.

How are you? First of all, I want say that I know what you are going through. I used to have alot of friends too in high school, then as I grew older, my friends became fewer. Like you, I am not a bad person. Friends may leave or may not want to be with you for a number of reasons. Overall, I think that that is just life's cruel way of telling you that you are growing up. You may have more important priorities. That is not to say that you will never have friends again. Please, don't feel depressed. There is no need to. If you do not know then remember that you can always talk to Jesus. I am a thirty-one year old guy.
Jesus cares.
Persistence is key