It's important to have a friend you can depend on. I'm not telling you to stop being her friend by any means but maybe if you stop inviting her to events you just might be a little less disappointed when she bails

Sound great cause I been knowing her for 6 years I don’t want our friendship to go to waste. I tried asking her do she have a social anxiety or dont like being around people she said no so I don’t know why she Plan things with me but don’t follow through. I plan on using your advice on what I should do and see if it work thank you once again you really help me today. I hope all is well with you today.

Hi Jakylah, welcome to this forum. This friend is showing you who she is and how she is. Your job is to accept who she is and how she is. Talking to her and asking her to change is like spitting in the wind. The person who has to change is you because we can't fix or change other people. So you can stop being friends with this person or you can accept she is flaky and unreliable and not expect her to show up or whatever. You can decide you value yourself more than allowing someone to walk all over you.

And know this: her behavior is not about you. Her lack of attention to showing up or her making promises she doesn't keep is about HER personality and character. This is who she is. She does this flaky stuff with everyone. She can't change for you and her behavior DOES NOT MEAN you have less value. This is who she is. So if you can see this less personally, and know her behavior is not about you as you, it is about her and her issues. If you can see that, then you can move forward to finding friends with less issues or better character. Some people are users and we may like them other than they are flaky and don't show up or they arrive and "forgot" their wallet so you always have to pay. Things like that.

Because you deserve to see this from a different perspective and not blame yourself or take it personally how she is. You can accept that she is this way and it is not about you as you but about her. Or you can decide this is not of value to yourself since she is so flaky and leaves you hanging. We can like people but keep the relationship to certain levels of contact while recognizing they are the way they are. I like this woman I know as a friend, she is witty and smart, but she says mean things about other people and blames everyone in the world for all her problems. I tried to change her to stop her being so hate filled towards others but then I realized she is just mean spirited and while I like some aspects of her personality, her mean spirit makes it a no for pursuing more friendship. Hope this makes sense.

When I was younger, I had a friend I considered my "best friend" Every time we had plans she would be really late. This was before cell phones (b/c I'm old lol) so I'd always be left just waiting wherever we were supposed to meet up for maybe an hour or more just because she lost track of time.

It really upset me, and looking back, I realize it was because she didn't value our friendship as much as I did. She didn't care about the fact that I was waiting alone somewhere, and that was pretty hurtful. Eventually, we grew apart and lost track of each other.

Now that I'm a little older I really appreciate people who show up when they say they will...It's a quality that I look for.

I'm not really sure if any of this helps you, but if anything, maybe now you also know that showing up is an important quality in a friend for you too. You can use that information moving forward as new people come into your life.

Wishing you peace <3

This behavior is extremely rude.

Girl, I would dump this low class individual in a NEW YORK minute! A REAL friend would never behave like that. You deserve a much better person for your friend. No one should be treated in such a way. Take care.

I'm glad you presented this situation it helped me. My friend does not invite me to events as often as she used to and I think now it is because I always let her know I could likely back out at the last minute. I have found myself I running out of energy and can't follow through on my agreements. She says she understands my situation and I don't like it myself. But if I really am not 100% in, it is best for her to go without me. So she is being wise by just not asking me. This will help me let go of my judgments I think. I hope!

rainbowsandstorms, I think this is an honest assessment. I am having issues with my health and I have said no more than yes in the past. Your post reminded me that even though today I am not feeling 100%, for my own mental health, I have to go to this morning social event. I got up and got dressed in a nice outfit. I am feeling bad about feeling bad and I get lonely and depressed at missing things just as you mentioned.

OMG You all are amazing!!!!! Thanks for the advice I really feel that it help tremendously!!!!! I just joined this group a week ago and feel so welcome inside this support group!!!!!