Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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What to do anymore

aloneinthedesert
aloneinthedesert
I just recently got out of an abusive relationship a couple months ago (yes I joined an abuse support group on here but haven't heard from anyone in response to my post yet). This has left me isolated once again in my life. I don't know what to do anymore. I really resent when people tell me to "learn how to be comfortable being alone." I am comfortable being alone for the first time in my life actually. But I have social anxiety, am very shy, and this is all coming out again more-so because I'm finally trying to be sober (and doing good) and now have even more severe PTSD from being tortured. It's hard for me to even go to the grocery store much less make new friends. I'm here back in the city I grew up in. Only because of my son. At first I came back because my family offered their "support' and of course stabbed me in the back. Shouldn't have counted on that. But I don't want to hang out with the same old people, not to mention most of them wouldn't answer the phone if I tried to anymore. I'm trying to sincerely stay out of trouble but the loneliness is getting to be too much for meit's not fair. Not only did I have to go through horrendous abuse but now it's too much to ask for a friend to be there. I reached out to someone who was there but basically said I should stop asking for favors and I haven't talked to her sincereached out to her on Christmas Eve cause I had no one else to talk to and got in a big fight with my "family." But I was always there for her too. Right after I left my ex-gf she flat out told me she couldn't be there for me and I accepted that. I was there for her. It's been months though, so I guess she just doesn't care. I don't know. I can't trust anyone or rely on anyone but in the past I've always been there for people. I don't understand and I'm so tired of being lonely. I don't even necessarily need someone to understand my problems or hear about them. I just want a real friend :(
billwfriend
billwfriend
it is hard work to make a good friend...not like flicking a light switch....you grow together over time spent with each other....it long arduous process....good luck...
looney1
looney1
I have a similar relationship history and I don't know what the answer is but I just want to send you a healing hug. I even went through the same thing with my family and have now finally cut contact. Its hard sometimes because we want to believe they are better than they are. People can be cruel and narcissistic and I believe as an older woman it is much worse than it used to be. Social media and worshipping celebrities with little of substance contributes I think. Its not something wrong with you, it sounds like you have been a good friend and supportive but you know a bunch of takers with no idea how to give back. I have done a lot of work to accept loneliness and its not an ideal situation but it beats abuse. I really hope this is a time of healing and insight for you and you find the strength to build a better new life. Happy New Year.
jaylady
jaylady
Hugs. I understand dealing with the loneliness. You will see that some days are better than others. The best advice I can give you is to try to change your thinking and think about all the things that you are thankful for. Also practice self-love and self-patience.

To help you through this difficult, try Oprah's LifeClass, Iyanla Vazant and Tony Roberts, the motivational coach. You can find them on youtube.com and I must admit that my life has been so much better and happier. But of course, I still have a lot of work to do to heal from my past and deal with being alone.
aloneinthedesert
aloneinthedesert
I appreciate your hug looney1- send you one back. Any suggestions from what you learned on how to accept loneliness? I really appreciate your good wishes. I hope it's a time of healing for you too. I'm trying. I'm glad I have gotten to the place where I feel like I'd rather be alone than abused. It's just a lonely place. I'm glad you have chosen loneliness temporarily over abuse too. I really don't think you'll be lonely forever. I hope you stay strong. I hope you get some relief somehow, you never know when or how that might happen so don't give upHappy New Years to you. Thanks for wishing me luck billwfriend. I'm so tired of building relationships for them to go up in flames or to realize that the person is yet another fake. JayLady- I have been working very hard on trying to change my thinking. Some days are better than others but I have to say it is working and I hope someday it's not such a constant struggle between me and my thoughts. I have been practicing self-love and self-patience also for the first time in my life- it's amazing. I finally don't want to die anymore. I finally am at least loving myself even if no one else can or doesit's really hard. I'm just trying to keep going. I'll look into those YouTubes. I just recently started changing the types of music I listen to and things I watchfor some it might not be a big deal but I'm sensitive to a fault and I never realized how much the negativity was affecting me on all levels. It's hard to change these lifelong patterns...
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