Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
Curious if others have the same problem. I find it nearly impossible to make friends. I can talk to just about anyone about anything so despite have social anxiety in groups I am not necessarily shy. I used to work as a waiter and hotel manager although they weren't the best fit for me.
But the problem is this, I don't make any lasting connections, even when I want to. Now I have all of one friend and she isn't local anymore so it is just a phone relationship.
In a large way I guess I don't trust people, I've had mostly bad experiences I guess. But this distrust doesn't manifest consciously.
Now I am on disability (for bipolar) and live alone and come in contact with very few people. When I worked with the public and met 100 people a day I made a new friend about once a year. Now I don't meet anyone and I don't even know where to do it. If I was religious I would go to a church. But even when I go to bipolar support groups and such I actually come home feeling more alone than I started because I see everyone else's camaraderie. I also connect better with women but they tend to assume you are trying to flirt or whatever if I approach them and the last thing I want right now is a sexual relationship.
If I pushed past my comfort zone I'm sure I can put myself in position to meet people, but for the life of me I am clueless on how to convert an acquaintance into a friend. In fact I have a number of acquaintances but the only time I ever hear from them is when they have a computer problem or need something fixed. Don't think any of them are friend material anyway.
But the problem is this, I don't make any lasting connections, even when I want to. Now I have all of one friend and she isn't local anymore so it is just a phone relationship.
In a large way I guess I don't trust people, I've had mostly bad experiences I guess. But this distrust doesn't manifest consciously.
Now I am on disability (for bipolar) and live alone and come in contact with very few people. When I worked with the public and met 100 people a day I made a new friend about once a year. Now I don't meet anyone and I don't even know where to do it. If I was religious I would go to a church. But even when I go to bipolar support groups and such I actually come home feeling more alone than I started because I see everyone else's camaraderie. I also connect better with women but they tend to assume you are trying to flirt or whatever if I approach them and the last thing I want right now is a sexual relationship.
If I pushed past my comfort zone I'm sure I can put myself in position to meet people, but for the life of me I am clueless on how to convert an acquaintance into a friend. In fact I have a number of acquaintances but the only time I ever hear from them is when they have a computer problem or need something fixed. Don't think any of them are friend material anyway.
What I've found is that when you are both fairly alike and have mutual needs ie friends or other similar problems you tend to stick together. The other thing is if you work on something together. For example, one of my friends and I both like to write and we edit each other's work. Another friend and I go to meditation classes together.
I think also giving a reason to someone why they would be better off being your friend. Think of what you can offer. Can you cheer them up? Inform them about things they've been needing to know? Offer your experience with something similar they are dealing with, ie could be having bi-polar, or working in management, or anything really.
Trust is a gradual thing. Start by trusting people with only little things in your life and build from there. Dip your toe in as they say before jumping in. So, for example, rather than immediately trusting someone you like very much with your deepest secrets, just see how reliable they are. Do they come over when they say they will? If the first test is passed, build on from there. That kind of thing.
Good luck :)
I miss having men friends and am amused by your assumptions of women's assumptions. I think I posted it here a while back. Many years ago, I was very angry after taking my car in for repair, because the repulsive (and unclean) mechanic clearly thought I was interested in him because I was asking him questions about my car. I told my daughter, "Because of my age and being overweight, this very repulsive man thought I wanted him." She explained to me it wasn't because of my age or weight, that all men think every woman wants them.
Loneliness seems to be everywhere, yet there are virtually no internet sites for making "just" friends. People are very reluctant to form real friendships with new people. I moved to a different state several months ago and immediately noticed that in this small town, people are nosey, but not friendly, which I find annoying. I wanted to move somewhere different, but not this different.
A Pinterest Quote you may find amusing:
I used to be a People person, but people ruined that for me."