have you tried to surround yourself with friends and family

I think the questions you need to be asking yourself is "Why do I feel this way?"...Why do I have so much fear?" Why can't I let go?" Search deep within yourself, because you will probably find it stems from a lack of self love. When you don't love yourself, you look for others around you to supply you with the validation and the love which you are unwilling to give yourself,

.....You are made in the image of God, (if you have any spiritual beliefs) God doesn't make junk, by the way.

I found a good websight to help you out, but it's not the only one. If you know how to google, you will find many more.

https://www.wikihow.com/Love-Yourself

Years ago, I went through something similar and a close friend told me, the best way to get rid of old memories is to replace them with new ones... I had to feel worthy of another relationship with the opposite sex which took some time and lots of work on myself before I believed I was ready to make that commitment.

Good luck!

It takes time to heal. It sounds like grief. You can get stuck in grief. How long has it been since you two broke up? And why did she break up with you? I am very sorry your heart was broken. Many of us experience this all throughout life. Your ability to move forward in your own life right now will give you skills to make next time easier, and the next time easier still. We don't ever forget people but we do have to continue on to creating our own good lives. First we have to grief and then we have to actively do things to create another good life. All throughout life, we have periods of lost connection with other humans. They die, they get mad at us and break up, they move away, they ghost us. It is painful. We are human and we feel feelings. I am not sure how long ago this break up happened but I think perhaps you would benefit from considering that this is grief?

You're experiencing what's known as Complicated Grief, its the equivalent of losing a loved one to death. You have to mourn the loss of losing her as if she passed away in order to heal.

Yeah. Ive been obsessing about someone and I reached out to his ex to confirm some things and it was a disaster. I'm obsessing about the encounter.

When you don't have any friends or family how do you do it?

Subhorizon, life is harder without family or friends, or any human connections. I’m not sure what you mean in your question. Therapy can often help or finding a support group. Journaling with pen to paper every evening about how you feel is helpful. And getting out in life and making connections with other humans by joining classes, book clubs, meet-ups, hobby groups, church groups, etc.