Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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drew4lostluv 05/08/2014

I have a good friend I think on here that is going through a rough patch and I couldn't help but notice some similarities in my own life.
I am a man that wants to find that special woman that I can give all of myself to. Pretty sweet huh! Well the problem with that is when I find someone that I think would be perfect for me I start to pursue her, not realizing that I am probably going to freak her out, I devote all of my time focusing on her, writing her poetry, telling her that I love her after only being around her for a short period of time. Being a jealous asshole. Pretty much a guy you wouldn't want to be with. I was never really sexually abused but I also have a hatred twoards other men so that doesn't help with my jealousy. It makes me even more unstable when I see a girl I like talking to another guy. I also let women that I am interested in know everything up front at the beginning of the relationship. I don't really know if it's a good idea talking about my wife that passed away a year ago or talking about me having an arrest record for domestic assault or how my step son is a pedophile would help in making a lasting relationship.

I am trying to work on all this and I do see some improvement. I have come to realize that as long as I am dating more than just the 1 girl I am interested in that it isn't so bad.

What I want to get out of this post is not sympathy. I want some suggestions on
How long should I date a woman that I like before I show her how I feel? I want her to know I'm interested but I don't want to freak her out.
How do I occupy my time so I don't think about her? I have more questions but I have to take my dad to the doctors. I'm sorry if I make some of you think differently of me because of this post bur I promise that I am a kind and passionate person that just wants to better hisself

gustokitty 05/09/2014

Hi drew, You are very self aware, honest, open minded and looking to grow. Those are some great qualities!! I really like the advice shelle68 gave you. I agree with her, and the examples she gave. What you will still have to figure out is how to get there. Some of those traits I don't think will just go away, and will require work. Particularly the jealousy. Jealousy is NOT love. And trust is very important, and for some of us, especially hard to do, given our backgrounds. So, I think you are on the right track, and you are recognizing some problematic behavior and also recognizing your good qualities. So again, I totally agree with the positive spin on the list....and the examples shelle68 gives are great examples. I think the list should be shorter like hers, and rather than a lot of rules, gain a deeper understanding of what each items means. For example...a healthy relationship...what does that look like. (I certainly don't know!! lol) but I do know what an unhealthy relationship looks like. I think when you look at yourself, and work on healing some of the damage that has been done from your life history....then some of the things will turn themselves around. I'd like to be your friend, and talk more about stuff in the future.

drew4lostluv 05/09/2014

I messaged that girl that I was dating. I'm not sure but it seems like she still wants to talk. I think we could be good friends but I don't know if I want anything more than that because I don't want to be with anyone that is afraid of me in any way. I don't think I would even believe her if she said that she wasn't afraid of me and wanted to give it another go. I offered my friendship to her. I told her a little about what I have learned and I appoligized for my actions. She did respond to a couple of my texts but I don't know if she will pursue a friendship with me.
I am at peace with what I said and I don't really care if she wants to be my friend. I just want her to be happy and to know that I learned something about myself that will make me a better person. I have learned a lot about what I shouldn't do in a relationship. I wouldn't have learned anything if it wasn't for you here to help clear my clouded mind.
Always moving forward, stumbling occasionally Drew.

shelle68 05/09/2014

Drew, good for you! Like I said. People come into our lives for a reason. One reason, is to learn something. You learned from this experience and you are growing and learning about yourself! Way to go!

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