I thank you for your post. It helps me understand some men more. Knowledge is power.

You are doing all the right things. You are a passionate man and caring and there is nothing wrong with that. When you go on a date see if you can ask more about her than yourself to keep the conversation going and show your interest in her. Let her ask questions too. It will all go well for you. Just take your time my friend.

Take it from me....jealousy ruined a couple of my marriages. I believe that jealousy is about you being insecure. Know you are better than that.

If some one is going to cheat or break your heart.....no amount of jealousy will prevent it. Give the girl some freedom to learn what she wants and give yourself a chance to trust someone. It can be very freeing.

Don't let a good relationship go bad due to your insecurities.

My mother married an abusive man. The relationship only lasted a couple of years but but I lived in constant fear of him hitting me or my mother. That's why I hate men. I really want to try and have a bro friend lol to help me understand that not all men are ass holes. I think that it would help with the jealousy. When I see a woman I like talking to a guy I immediately think that he is just going to hurt her and that fuels the anger, not twoards her but him the possible abuser. That's a huge part of where my jealousy comes from. Also I am very insecure.

You mentioned in another post that you wee working on loving yourself. That is the first step.
Then, decide on how much you value yourself. Don't let anyone devalue yourself.
Next, set limits/boundaries ( this is hard) and don't change them. For example, set limits are time frames in telling someone different things about you/your past. Limit what you tell her about your feelings.

Really think, is this someone that I can have a long term relationship with, or am I lonely?

I also believe that a lot of people are in our lives temporally, meaning, they are here for us to learn from and maybe have fun, but not everyone is the " right one". Let the girls go that don't feel right. They will take up time and energy from you, keeping you from the one that is right for you.

I've talked to and dated many women and only 2 stuck out. The 2 I screwed up with. They didn't have perfect body's so it wasn't just a physical attraction. I was connected to their personality and love who I thought they were. I know people put on a fake persona when they date and I have to realize that so I can get to know the real person. I have no fake persona. I am who I am, the good and the bad. I really think I should develope a fake persona to protect myself.

I have learned to take my time and get to know someone. If they don't stick around, it wasn't meant to be.
Guys have told me that this approach is " refreshing". We don't go out on "dates" we just meet somewhere and hang out. No pressure. I go to a guys house and we watch the playoffs together. How cool is that! No touching or talking about feelings. We talk about the game and other stuff.

Thats a good thing Drew you always need to be yourself and relaxed on a date. I am the same why so the guys take what they see of take a hike cuz your getting the real me on the first date. If you do not like the real me than I guess we just dont work out. I do not like the fake people at all.

A man that could give all of himself to me. Yes, that is pretty sweet.

If part of ur personality is that u are a jealous person, then consider urself normal. Believe it or not, some women wish their boyfriend showed some signs of jealousy (to a certain extent); it shows he's really interested in her, she is very special to him & he doesn't want to lose her. If the jealousy is to the point of stalking or verbal & physical abuse, then I don't know how many hearts a man could win over, with that type of behavior. Not saying that this is you, but I don't know the extent of your jealousy.

A bad idea, is telling a lady virtually EVERYTHING about urself & ur past when u first meet her. Take it slow; one day at a time. Somehow, u WILL KNOW when the time is right to reveal certain things. Also, if u devote all of ur time focusing on her in a SHORT PERIOD OF TIME , u may very well come across as creepy to her & scare her away. But every individual is different. Some love that type of attention.

The MORE commonalities u both share, the less work u both have to do in the relationship.

Don't ever make ur relationship with a girl YOUR ENTIRE life. Have a life of ur own so that u don't have time to be jealous. If a girl shows she's interested in u, then there would be no need to be jealous. Trust, honesty, effective communication & mutual respect are huge factors in trying to make a relationship work.

I hope this helps.

Okay. What I am going to do when I am dating someone and that feeling of me falling for someone hits.
I am going to give her space,
talk to her maybe twice a day unless she contacts me.
I will not let her know how I feel until she expresses it to me.
I will not stop dating other women until she asks about having something more and I believe her.
I will not put her in the center of my life and become obsessed with her.
I will do what makes me happy with friends that I have made.
I will not think about who she is talking to because I will be talking to other women.
There shouldn't be a reason for me to be jealous but when she wants a serious relationship I will ask that she deletes her online dating profiles if she has any. I think that is fair.
I am going to go into a relationship with the thought that it could be something more than just a friendship.

( This scares me because I don't know if I can do that but I will try. The best thing I can do is to let her tell me when she wants to progress in the relationship, yes I think I can do that but I am not going to be the 1 to try and turn it into something more. )
I will tell her about my Domestic Assault charge and how I got it, and why I did what I did. Mainly because a woman might look it up on the Internet and see it before anything happens.
I don't need to explain that to you all, it's in my journal, I don't like reflecting on negative events in my life, it just brings back negative emotions.
I will tell her that I am a widower straight away and am ready to move forward with my life.
I will wait to tell her about my stepson being a child molester. I will wait unless children are envolved and then I will tell them the whole story behind that.
I will not talk about my son unless asked, if I just started talking with her I will tell her the truth but only if she asks but I won't go into detail.
I will not go into detail with any of the personal events in my life until it becomes a concern.
I will not tell anyone about ds. People think something is wrong with you if you say anything about being in a support group. I think it's stupid but I guess it's no ones business but my own anyways.
This is what I am going to use to protect myself. If anything else comes to mind, I'll add it.

You have a great list! Most all the things on here are stated positively.
When you state.. "I won't" restate it. I will have contact me.
You attract what you think. Saying "I won't" is a negative statement. So, reword it. If that makes sense.

Think what you will do. , not what you "won't do"

Here are some examples:
I will have/keep other healthy relationships.
I will set boundaries and keep them.
I will surround myself with positive people.
I will let go of negative people and people that drain me.
I will value myself.
I will feel secure in my relationship.
Over time, my friends will earn my trust.
I will keep my own identity.

Do those statement make sense about stating things positively?

Yes they do very much I thank you shelle that will go in my journal. That's what I wanted out of this. Bundles I can't message you so I will thank you for your insight. I think I am a very jealous person and you pretty much defined my personality. I have sent bad messages to women like I hope you are enjoying talking to whoever you are talking to. I don't call them names but I show a definite sign of insecurity that can and does destroy any chance of a relationship with said person. That's why I made this post, I know that I have to conquer those insecurities and let them choose to be with me. I'm looking for guidelines to follow so I can have a healthy relationship. I was raised by devorced parents. They devorced shortly after I was born and they probably didn't give me a good idea of a healthy relationship. I have to discover that on my own. I was with a woman for 10 years some of it was great, alot of it not so much. I want to learn how to reach for the stars and be with someone that I truly want to be with.
And salty what I have to say to you is I thank you for excepting who I am unconditionally. You're a true friend, 1 like I never had before in my life but not everyone is like you are which is a shame. I have to create these guidelines for me so people who don't know me like you do will over time learn of my past at a more appropriate time so that maybe there can be something more.

My sweet friend it will happen sometimes others do not understand and are not willing to understand what others have gone through yes it is a shame but you are a special person and things are going to be ok for you sweet friend. Hugs