There are ways. It took me 13 years to get off disability. Now i work for IBM. Look for oportunities where you can hopefuly something will get better

Sure you take little steps, training, looking for interviews, etc. Don't look for success but whether you took meaningful steps to achieve your goals.

Is there any way at all to switch motels to one that is in a town? Where there are more people?

Don't give up. Things will change. Just have to take some baby steps.

@GirlinCalif Switching is not an available option. This motel is the only motel I can afford. I'm paying $600/month rent. Every other motel in America charges twice that much. Thus switching is not an option for me.

Somehow you have to get yourself out of there for a couple of days, go into a nearby City, and get some help. There is SO MUCH help available now, because it's after the pandemic, and there's churches, organizations, all kinds of things. Once you get into one of those "systems", you'll be okay, they keep tabs on you. Call 311. They can also tell you where to go, but I find some churches do the most help.

@maria718 I posted a room wanted ad on craigslist. A widow my age, answered my ad, and drove 200 miles to pick me up and offer me a better place to stay. On her sprawling 50 acre ranch in Colorado. Could have been paradise for us both. I mean seriously. It could have been wonderful. A dream come true. A happily-ever-after ending to my life story. But there's always a catch. Right. So now I am back in Motel Hell.

Wow, that sounded like a wonderful opportunity. May I ask what was the catch?

@cedarbrooke Yes indeed. The countryside and mountains were breathtaking. It's the kind of place I've long dreamed of living, but could never afford. Anyway I'd rather not go into details. I'll just say I gave it my best. She lived alone way out in the boonies. So I helped her out a lot on the ranch, and with home and car repairs etc, for several months, but we just weren't compatible as intimate LTR partners.

So I moved out and all the way back to where I'd come from. Very disappointing and depressing for me, but, I knew the risks going in. Certainly would have been more prudent to have first gotten to know her before packing my bags and shacking up, but... opportunities like that don't come along often. I was eager to relocate and start a new chapter. Live in a nice home instead a dumpy motel, and have companionship. So I jumped in headlong and hoped for the best.

It's not the first time I've done that, lol. I rather impulsively flew across country to live with a gal I'd met on a dating site. She owned 2 homes and offered me the second smaller house to use as an art studio. So I hopped on a plane. Unfortunately those plans changed in a hurry, and again, we were not a good match. The bottom fell out. Ah well... C'est la vie. Life is a gamble. And apparently I'm born to lose. Unlucky in cards, and even more unlucky in love. :(

I am glad you've been able to honestly say how you feel but I am sorry you feel such a victim. Victimhood just makes us feel so blech inside. This is not a happy thing and we often feel bitterness dosed in with that victim thinking stuff. You've found two codependent women to basically live with or off of and neither time it worked out. Maybe you are not born to lose, maybe you are more of the user type? It's hard for you to make a plan to save yourself because you'd rather have someone else, a stranger woman, rescue you? This isn't even unlucky in love because as you said you didn't even know either of these women who were rescuing you. It wasn't love. Some people do decide they like being unhappy and passive about life, blaming others, blaming luck, etc. The weird thing about our attitudes is they attract or repel others. I am sorry you feel lonely and are now alone. I hope you can find something better in life if you want that.

Accidentally deleted my previous comment while editing. Short version is, what urbangardener said is laughably ignorant, and based on the incorrect assumption those women were supporting me financially and/or emotionally. Totally false. I paid them full rent $$$ and covered all my other personal expenses. Plus did a ton of work for them both at no extra cost. As for "rescuing" me.. lol. It's more like I rescued Them! Sucks we weren't compatible as LTR partners, but that's just how life goes.

Moving on... I currently have 3 housing offers open on the east coast. Possibly 4. Old friend in FL I used to hang out with may want a roommate. She's thinking of taking a road trip out west to see friends in Colorado... and that if she decides to visit me too, she's not returning home without me. hah. I know her well enough to know she's not joking, and won't take no for an answer.

For now, my search goes on for a better living situation and location. But for the time being... I will remain lonely, bored and depressed. Which is why I started this thread.

Wow that is great! Three days since your first post. Things are looking up! Go for it!

I get the bored lonely stuff. At least you keep trying different options. If I was in your situation and it didn’t affect your eligibility for your income I would go to Mexico. I’ve been dreaming of it for a while and hard from where I live, but cost of living is pretty good there.

@cedarbrooke First thanks for friending me. As for housing, unfortunately none of those offers are good for my needs, so I will sit tight for now and keep looking.

One offer came from an old friend in NY I grew up with. It'd be great to see him again, but I can't afford to live on Long Island. That's where I was born and raised, and it explains my screen name. Oyster Bay is the town in which I was born. But I left NY long ago with my now ex wife and kiddo, partly because the cost of living is too high. So not a good destination. But still it's one available option if the bottom falls out.

Second is my sister. She's a school teacher. I'm welcome to stay with her anytime, and I know she could really use my help. I very much want to help my sister care for our elderly invalid mother. But again it's New York, and I'm poor. Plus sharing her home wouldn't be good for either of us. Too much additional stress for us both.

Third offer is from a farmer gal my age, who can use a helping hand with her livestock and gardening, home repairs etc etc. But the location is bad. Too far outside town. And... I don't want a repeat In other words, I move in, and we become intimately involved, but aren't compatible as romantic partners. Then I'm right back to a motel or whatever. Not a good plan.

@Tropicaloo; I've thought about Mexico. I know a lot of elderly retired Americans are moving there to cut costs. But I haven't looked into it much, and frankly I'd be scared to live there. Way too much violence and corruption. As far as affecting income goes, I'm pretty sure elderly Americans can keep receiving Social Security retirement benefits if they move out of the country. But I might be wrong about that. But as for SS disability benefits... no idea how that would work, and I would not want to gamble.

In May of this year, SSA suspended my disability benefits. And just moving from one US state to another, greatly complicated my appeals process. Can't even imagine how SSA might have reacted if I'd told them I moved out of the country. Most likely they'd have permanently terminated my benefits. Any of you who are receiving SSDI know, you're treading thin ice. One wrong move and you may lose your only source of income, and find yourselves starving on the street. As if being mentally and physically ill wasn't already bad enough. I've been homeless 5 times, and needless to say.. it wasn't an enjoyable experience.

Imagine becoming broke and homeless on the streets of Mexico. Scary thought there. What would I do? Hrm. I do have Mexican-American friends who own homes south of the border. If I couldn't get back to the states... guess I'd be begging them for food and shelter.