Sounds like divorce is emminent. Not that I'm an advocate...

I am sorry to hear that you are in this situation. Staying married when you aren't happy is terrible, and so is going through a divorce. I hope you can find a solution to make your marriage work, but your situation does not sound good.

everyone check my journal

Why not try a separation? If you are that unhappy why keep it going, there is no need to wait to see if things will get better, you both want to be happy, and not seeing it happen staying together, try living apart, you both may see why you were together in the first place....

good luck

Maybe it's not the best idea to surf the internet for a new woman while you're still married.

I understand that many people find it easier to leave when they have someone new lined up. But it might be better to make the decision on whether to stay married based on your relationship with your wife versus whether this other woman is going to be waiting for you.

Hello, Harley....I read your profile and I know exactly what you are feeling, as I have been in your situation before several years ago, and it nearly tore me apart inside..

....my marriage was crumbling and we even talked about separating...in this state, I found myself very vulnerable to the affections of other women online, even women that I would not ordinarily be attracted to...point being that in your current state of mind, it is VERY hard to make rational, objective decisions, and the temptaton to want to escape from a bad situation could lead you into a relationshiop that you will regret later on, please trust me on this...

Right now the best thing you can do is just focus on doing everything you can to put your marriage back together, for the sake of you and, more so, for your girls....a divorce is ugly, mean, and hurtful to the children, and there are no "clean breaks"...please consider this before you do anything else....just try for a little longer...by now, you know your spouse inside-out, so try and give her what she needs, you know what makes her happy...if you give your all to keep your marriage intact and it still fails, you can walk away with a clear conscience and know that you did everything possible...

For now, please try and forget about other women, if you do end up getting divorced there will be plenty of time for other relationships later....right now, focus on the people that count!

If you ever feel the need to chat (or just rant),let me know, I am a good listener (I have a talkative spouse, so I've had plenty of practice!)...Good luck :)

Paindora and Lily61 both gave you some of the best advice. I couldnt have said it better myself. I too know exactly what you are feeling as far as being married and being lonely and miserable because i too have been there and still lonely. But the best thing to do is step back and maybe be alone for awhile and see if maybe you want to go back to your marriage or if you are truely done before you meet someone else. When your in the situation you are in being lonely, sad, and feeling like you need someone it is so easy to fall quick and hard for someone if they say everything you want to hear. Trust me I know I have so many times been sucked in by words only to get my feelings hurt worse. I think you should take sometime to clear your head and be 100% sure before you meet someone else online or anywhere for that matter. If you are already feeling hurt by the woman you met on tagged and feeling you are going to be at the bottom of the barrel than move on and let her go. Believe it or not there are so many more woman out there that will never make you feel that way. But be fair to yourself and the woman you meet and make sure you are meeting the next woman for the right reasons and not just to fill a temporary void. After feeling that way for 5 years with your wife you really deserve better and deserve to be truely happy. I really hope everything works out for you for the best at whatever you decide to do. Just dont settle for someone who already makes you feel sad you deserve more.

I too empathize with your situation. I have looked elsewhere because it felt so good to have someone build me up rather than be suspicious or hesitant. I've been told that each person in the relationship has a smilar problem, and that both are looking for security and hope for a future, but cannot get past today. I was also told that I should consistently show my appreciation for an extended time until the confidence of my spouse is restored. The problem is that it is like trying to curl up to a cactus, when you know there is a warm blanket within reach. do you have some idea what started the decline?

I was married for 16 years and that man did not even know me. That was the lonelists time for me because I was unable to reach out to others.