Hi I’m new too and I don’t know of anything

Welcome all. Just say somethings like what do you do? How are you feelings? Do you have any mental disorders? Your family?

Thank you. Ironically, I’m a mental health professional. I have found myself suddenly without meaningful connection in my private life. Without reciprocal friendships, and the nature of my work, I’m feeling quite empty and exhausted. I’m married and a mother - which are both great. I am missing having friends. The good, solid, close kind. I’m grieving the loss of them and feel stuck. Where is the closest friend store?

I know that feeling more than I would like to have. I feel I landed up where I am because I didn't carve out time for friendships. I was too busy playing my other roles. they say find a group that resonates with you - volunteering, etc. and you are a mental health professional - you should know

Right, I “should “ know. However, I think the fact that I should adds an extra layer of frustration. Despite knowing where people are, I can’t seem to connect.

We can all feel lonely at times in our life no matter who you are or what your profession is.
Its not written in a rule book that you "should know" just because of the job you do.
Personally i think because of your job you should seek out connections from elsewhere.
Working in mental health i can imagine can be very draining on your well being.
You need something uplifting in your personal life.
I dont know what your interested in but it could be anything as long as its for you and something to look forward to each week. A weekly class of something....

I wish I didn’t feel so anxious about new social experiences. I understand, logically, I need to choose between feeling temporarily anxious and more chronically lonely. Somehow this feels like a difficult choice. I am starting to think that this is more about grieving lost relationships.

Hi..what happened to the friendships? Was it something specific or just losing touch? It can be a challenge to make new friends. I find I am often the initiator of plans with people or I don't hear from anyone. It takes time to build those friendships too and sometimes the time and energy is not there. connection is not always instant, dont be afraid to try. It wont a'ways mean a connection but when it does it is worth it!

There was a specific event that ruptured so many things. I am responsible and carry an immense amount of shame and guilt. Although most of the impact was on my marriage, it brought my character into question and people have distanced themselves. This, in turn, caused me to question people in general and I have stopped trusting people. If mistakes make me disposable, then do I really want to be close to anyone? I’ve screwed up, but I’ve never turned my back on others when they falter. I’m confused and sad that it was so easy for them to close this door. I miss these people so much and feel heartbroken that I am not missed by them.

Welcome, and hopefully you're forming some friendships right here! Close connection begins in the mind and the power of words is amazing!

Welcome to DS. There is a wealth of knowledge within the walls of this website and lots of people always willing to jump in and help any way they can. I am currently dealing with a crisis of my own and have gotten lots of great help with it. Its a great site.

Hi
Being a mental health professional can in itself make life somewhat isolating (I know this from personal experience). You give and give and feel like you cannot be vulnerable or have your own issues. This is so far from the truth. The expectations that we put on ourselves are very unrealistic and unfair.
I'm sorry that something happened in your life that has caused you to feel so bad about yourself. Hopefully you can practice self compassion and also hope that you have someone that you can talk to to help put things into perspective. DS is a wonderful place. Welcome.

Hi, sorry to be so late to reply, I didn't see your previous post and don't always get on here so I just now saw it. We have all made mistakes, even ones that may cause us to look at our character. That is, however, how we learn and grow and change. People can be very quick to make judgments, but those are not the people that you want or need in your life. I understand feeling disposable, I feel that way every day, but it doesn't stop me from trusting or being close to people - it's a risk, but it is a risk worth taking and is far better than staying isolated and lonely. I have some friendships that did not last for various reasons, mostly them making judgments of me that were not valid, and I lost trust in them - so it wasn't healthy to continue, but I still miss them and think of them often. I just have to keep moving and keep growing and keep trying. Don't let anyone make you feel as if you are not missed, treasured, loved. Those just are not the people you want around you. The ones that have closed the door on you, are not worth your time and energy. I've had to find my own sense of validation and not rely on others for it, and then I find it is easier to work on friendships too. I hope this site is helping and you are feeling better!

Its very unfortunate something bad has happened to you. My whole life I have been shot down by the ones I love. By the people I would NEVER hurt. I have been rejected more times than there are stars in the sky... but I never let that stop me. In fact I did quite the opposite. At 18 years old, I used those negative emotions and channeled them into success. Doing this, I was able to win a speaking competition at Harvard University, travel the world and impact people on a global scale. Its important to never forget your self worth, your value, and to never make permanent decisions based off temporary feelings.