Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
So I met a boy during Thanksgiving we started out as friends. I knew he had a girlfriend and I had no problem staying friends as I was sorta interested in someone else at the moment. We talked every single night for hours on end. He ended up being my support system. He knew everything about me as I knew everything bout him. He was a lot like me insecure, shy, looking for something better. . .
He eventually confessed to having feelings for me & i found myself having feelings back. Nothing came of it because I knew he had a girlfriend that he cared bout deeply. I found myself getting jealous. Why couldn't it be me? Why did she get to have him when we were so much a like? On February 6th he texted me & told me that he could no longer be "friends" because our friendship was affecting his relationship with his girlfriend. I understood because I didn't want to end up the girl that chased after someone who was already in a relationship. But in the couple days since he left I cry myself to sleep wishing he would come back.
He was the only person I had left. I don't have many friends. Just one friend who lives in the city who i don't see very much due to the fact that they work so much. So that new boy was giving me all the attention I didn't receive on a daily basis. i cry all the time. if I'm not working, I'm crying, if not crying, then I'm drinking, or sleeping. I don't know what to do anymore.
He eventually confessed to having feelings for me & i found myself having feelings back. Nothing came of it because I knew he had a girlfriend that he cared bout deeply. I found myself getting jealous. Why couldn't it be me? Why did she get to have him when we were so much a like? On February 6th he texted me & told me that he could no longer be "friends" because our friendship was affecting his relationship with his girlfriend. I understood because I didn't want to end up the girl that chased after someone who was already in a relationship. But in the couple days since he left I cry myself to sleep wishing he would come back.
He was the only person I had left. I don't have many friends. Just one friend who lives in the city who i don't see very much due to the fact that they work so much. So that new boy was giving me all the attention I didn't receive on a daily basis. i cry all the time. if I'm not working, I'm crying, if not crying, then I'm drinking, or sleeping. I don't know what to do anymore.
My heart's compassion is going out to you right now. This is a very hard space to be in, where you're at right now. But, ya know, kudo's on you for reaching out (like your post here in this board).
When we do feel that connection with someone else and so many of our needs feel filled by their just being around, even if we don't or can't pursue anything further, it can feel devastating to lose that connection.
I know I've said this already but it is a very difficult place you're in right now. I'm praying you can be gentle with yourself, as gentle as you can be. Try to stay busy doing something you feel is productive. Even if you don't feel you have the energy or want to try, try to do something busy anyway. If you need to, look up any volunteer activities in your area and make yourself go. It's far better for your healing than alcohol will be any day (trust me, I know, I'm an alcoholic).
You might have heard this one already - people come into our lives for all sorts of reasons and on all sorts of levels. Most people come unto our Paths to help us learn something about and for inner ourselves. In your case it *might* be seeking attention from other people as opposed to you giving attention and loving energy to your Self. I don't know what lesson there might be for you in this space of time, and hopefully whatever lesson that it is will reveal itself in time and as gently as it can be revealed to you.
I tip my Boi-hat to you for honoring their relationship and being as understanding as you could be, especially given how strongly drawn you and he felt towards one another.
In his case, his lesson in this might be to look very carefully at his current relationship and ask himself is this where he really wants to be? His answer might ultimately be 'yes.' Bless your heart for giving him the space he needs right now to do what he needs to do for himself and his future.
It's okay to feel everything you're feeling right now. As the days move along here, the tears that fall upon your pillow will become less. Some day you might find yourself actually thanking Divinity for having met someone this special, no matter what the outcome was.
Maybe it will be kind of like having walked in a very lush and wonderful rose garden, where you got to see, smell and touch the exquisite, beautiful roses, but really in the end, they were meant to stay right where they were - in the garden. We can visit the precious garden in our minds any time we like and remember what sweetnesses there were there with a smiling and grateful heart that such beautiful things exist and we were lucky enough to have witnessed these.
I don't know if any of my words here are of any help to you really in this time. Please know though that you're not alone, no matter how alone you might be feeling right now. And I'm sending my prayers your way, Mixie, for all Bright Blessings of Light, Healing and Peace, 'An it harm none, Blessed Be.
Toni ~ AyniaNightFish...
...Family With My Beloved CroneLunaWulf And All Our Kindred Fur, Feather And Fin Spirits....
But of course the problem was that he was already in a relationship with someone else. And now I'm not saying it's wrong to develop friendships with the opposite sex, I'm just saying you need to be really careful about it. It might not be a good idea to be such an exclusive support for each other...if you had included his girlfriend into it, things might have developed with you having the combined friendship-support of a couple, rather than accidentally having this happen. (But that can be a lot to ask if the gf is the jealous type)
But ya know, you have solid friends, I can tell, he sounds very genuine by his actions and so you do. So I wanna reassure you of what a special person you are, and I know how you feel right now, but you're at the right place here. Feel free to message me. I'll be happy do what I can to step up for what you're lacking until you find that "something better"--I know others here will too!
From what you've described, you sound like a very insightful and intelligent person. Not only did you realize that this friend had become your main support system, but you were also understanding when he said he could no longer be just friends as he was in relationship. You should give yourself a big pat on the back for that. Well done.
Sure, it hurts like HELL right now. It's supposed to - you're going through a grieving process. And it will take as long as it needs to.
I think you're going to be just fine once you get through the grief. Then you can work on a new support system. In the mean time, why not build one up here on DS?
Only one thing I read gave me concern: If the "drinking" you mentioned involves alcohol, please be careful. That will only depress you more.
Peace 2 u........
LR