Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
I am lonely cause I push people who care about me away. How do I change that?
I use to do that, and sometimes I still do. It is because I haven't really known people who really care until recently. Please try to pull, and not push. I wish you the best, and I am not trying to sound bossy. Your topic caught my eye as I use to do what you are speaking of. Sometimes, I still do, but I catch myself now. You are worthy of being loved and returning it
I agree with Lucy. Once you can answer the question "why", then you can work on the "how to change".
As a sufferer of depression, I tend to push people away when the illness starts to envelope me and I get into that isolation stage. This is where treatement (meds/conseling/etc.) comes into play and then things will start to turn around. Then soon I'm enjoying the company of others again.
Wish you all the best....
I have been noticing that I have posted comments on people's journals, or sent people messages on this or that thing they wrote...and I see that the person doesn't respond. And of course people are busy with other areas of their lives, but I also think that it could be a sign that the person is truly suffering. Sometimes people need to go off and try n' make sense of things.
I have also been known to push people away because when I do want contact with others, I overwhelm them with calls, texts or emails. I don't know what to do about it either.
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This infamous happy act you speak of sounds like what someone else was mentioning recently. They mentioned "pretending" they weren't troubled. And I wondered why anyone would choose to do that.
I think sometimes, when you are strong enough emotionally, you can choose to put your concerns aside in order to give your full attention to another person in distress. But this means you actually have to be strong enough--not just pretend. If you don't have the energy to deal with anyone else, then you're right, you do just have to focus on yourself.
But to pretend that you're happy when you're not, serves no real purpose. I try to tell people when I feel troubled. The only exception is that I may avoid telling people who are even more troubled than myself since they would not in a position to provide me with support.
From what you write, it sounds like your fears are well founded. There is always the chance that they will commit to someone else. But it sounds to me like somebody's gotta step up and commit, maybe him! I mean he's getting weirded out because you're playing it casual? Why the hell should you commit to getting intimate with the guy if you don't want to? Do you know what kind of guy he is?
I think if somebody told me something like "Who knows when we'll see each other again" I'd commit. I'd either respond that I'd like to see them again soon, or.... I would do like he did and give you a little breathing space to consider how interested you were. You seem like you're not sure how interested you are in him.
Maybe you're just afraid to consider how you truly feel. I know how scary it can be to look at someone and wonder "Gee, do I like this person? What would it feel like to really like them?" It's about being comfortable with your feelings. And it can be scary when you first have a feeling that you like someone because you don't really know if that means you'll be at the mercy and compulsion of your feelings and be "forced" to like that person forever and ever. As you get more comfortable with it though, you begin to see that your feelings can and do change and that you're not being controlled by them; you can control them too. It's like breathing--it's both involuntary and voluntary.