Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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Problem

mas5707
mas5707
I think the biggest reason for me feeling so lonely is how shy I am. I am the person who sits in the back of the classroom with new people and only speaks when spoken to. I'm also the person that once you get to know really well, I'm totally the opposite. So the problem isn't that I don't have ANY social skills, it's just that I can't relax in new situations and be the one that starts the conversation. There's something deep down inside of me that wants to relax and be open and make new friends, but I just can't seem to do it.
Any advice on how to relax and just be myself?
deleted_user
deleted_user
That's exactly my problem too. There is only one thing you can do, it's so hard, but once you did it you feel so much better. Just becuz you know you can if you really want to. Just do it. Make contact, meer people.
I did it on holiday in Bulgaria. It was a groupd of girl I kinda wanted to meet, and at some point I just walked towards them and asked if I could join the cards game they were playing. It sounds so easy, and I know if you think about doing such a thing it's soooooo hard. But try not to think and just go for it.
The next thing is my Journal Post about this event. http://www.dailystrength.org/people/415424/journal/1679281

Hope it helps and take care!
deleted_user
deleted_user
CupofTea... On another post, JackedUp suggested the following for shyness:
If your loneliness is in any way caused by shyness, try "Goodbye to Shy" (don't remember the author at the moment)

I looked it up and here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/Goodbye-Shy-Shybusters-That-Work/dp/0071456422/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253231620&sr=1-1

I am very self-conscious...that makes me shy...I've never liked my body...I'm tall and big...tend to be very dominating in any room or situation...it's hard for me to make myself approachable...I know how you feel. The only thing I can suggest is volunteer work where you get to be with people who are like-minded. You can do it:-)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I appreciate you giving me advice, but shouldn't you help mas5707 first?
And I'm not that shy. I just start like "and when you go and talk to them, what the hell would you say?" Which is stupid cuz when u start talking things go so smoothly.. oh well
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was that person too right through school. If I could go back to school now I know that I would have made allot of friends because the older I get the more I realise that I'm not the only one in the room that's concerned about how I'm being perceived. Look closely and you will see that even the extroverts have similar fears of rejection or inadequacy on some level.
healingslowly
healingslowly
I do know the pains that go along with being shy....argh...it is so frustrating and scary.

One thing that has helped me lately is that I've realized I don't need to be the life of the party or the popular girl. I am friendly to all and try my best to initiate conversations (even though it is hard)...but realize that not everyone is going to like me and that even if they do, I don't need to be "Prom Queen" or anything other than who I am.

If the world were just filled with extroverts, we'd all be in big trouble. Look deep inside to see what qualities you have that are special and I think you'll see that your shyness may be a special part of it.

Try something different too -keep trying to stretch yourself -that is how I broke free of a lot my shyness....I called it "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyways" (after I saw a book with that title). What I mean by this is to pick something that you'd like to do but are normally to shy to do, and with baby steps accomplish that item -no matter how long it takes. You will build your confidence and maybe meet some nice people along the way.

Prayers to you :)