I'm sorry you have to live with such butt heads for flat mates. That must be stressful. I know how you feel about going places alone because I have done that before and it's awkward. I don't think people would think your a loser because you go places alone. If they do their not worth your time anyway.
Signing up to volunteer is a great way to meet new people. It also gives you something to do on the weekends. I hope you find some good friends there.

I'm sorry you live with assholes :( As far as doing things alone, I wouldn't wory about it. I go shopping, to the movies and even dinner alone.

i hung out with some mean people before, than i was like "why are you guys acting like this?" and they said "cause we are bad ass". long story short. I fucked their shit up. If you think im making this up, lets be friends in person. = ) i hate bullies and mean people and do whatever it takes to make them rethink their actions.

But for you, try assessing the situation. No matter how big or strong they are they always have a weakness. LOL I PUT SOMEONES RELATIONSHIP ON THE LINE BEFORE. Now hes a nice little puppet that i can play with. he gives me free smoothies too.

Does going out alone look weird??

Not at all!

In actuality I find that sometimes it's better to go shopping alone because then I have all the time to spend browsing through everything at my own pace. If I'm with someone else I'm constantly worrying that they're thinking I'm taking too long or look at dumb stuff or who knows what. (I think that because I hear it from my husband, but usually not my friends or my mom).

If you happen to bump into somebody, just say hi, and then move along, it doesn't have to turn into a huge conversation about precisely what you're doing or who you're with. If you really enjoy that person's company then find out what they are doing out too and maybe you can join up with them and not be alone! Try it!

I used to feel self conscious about going out alone, but nowadays it is the norm for me. If anyone thinks you are weird that is their problem. They may envy you for being self sufficient.

No, you're not a loser. I think it shows that you are treating yourself to something "nice" by getting out & doing your own thing.(I used to do this more when I had a job & money). I think it shows independence & being happy with oneself to a certain extent. Don't look at as a negative but a positive....

Sometimes I also go shopping on my own. Go to movies on my own. Etc. It gives me time to think. To enjoy my own company. One of the times I went shopping by myself, the lady at the clothing store walked around with me - having a conversation and suggesting outfits. It was nice. But just being by yourself sometimes gives you a feeling of calmness (is that a word?) So don't sweat it, =)

Hi Karanhere, I've noticed that your profile says 23? As a 23 year old woman ( or anybody else for that matter but especially a woman in her 20's lol!) there is NO WAY that you will look like a loser going out shopping by yourself! I am quite paranoid and self conscious myself but I look around and always see young women/girls going about their daily lives buying clothes and food by themselves all the time as it is perfectly necessary and normal.

Even as an insecure teenager I never really had hang ups about doing clothes shopping alone. I understand feeling self conscious about going out to eat alone or to the cinema though as those have been issues of mine- I finally went to the cinema by myself twice this year and it was liberating! (I went to an independent cinema in the middle of the day so it wasn't packed so I didn't have to worry about how I looked to others) I will only eat out alone at fast food places which tend to have an anonymous vibe with loads of others eating alone too opposed to restaurants which feel too intimate and vulnerable feeling for me to be alone in around the throngs of couples and groups.

If you feel self conscious doing activities alone do it all at your own pace in your own time like I did- for example- In the middle of a week day, or only go to places where you feel comfortable.

Since I don't have many/any friends...I feel like if I want to do something I will have to do it myself. Some things like shopping I had no problem with...and if you really look around the stores...you do find a lot of people shopping by themselves. Other things took a little more courage- going to a sit down restaurant etc. I used to think people were looking at me..and maybe they are..but I don't feel self conscious about it now for the most part.

Thanks for your replies guys I really appreciate it..
By the way "thisgyrl" I am a 23 year old guy not a girl lol. :-)

if i were you id go out on your own- and you might meet someone you like! you could always think of some story- you arranged to meet someone there- theyve just phoned and cancelled after some emergency and you decided to stay for a bit before going home- give it an hour and if no one chats to you then g home- bt at least you wold be out of the house. i know that a woman sat on her own is easier for a man to chat to- but have that story so you dont scare poeple off with your loneliness- sorry- im just being open- it freaks people out- its the way it is- but ill be damned f im telling you to hide away because of it- just have a story- actually you might find someone else out on there own too- you wont be the only one- i used to do it all the time when i was about 17- i didnt have good family- weekends were spent entirely in my own bedroom- boxed in- i knew of a group of people who all knew each other and would meet at a pub- they were local- i was local- i wormed my way in- by being vey quiey and sitting on the end of the table- i didnt care if they thought i was a bit odd- i didnt think it right tat just because i dant grown up in the area too, that i should be sat at hoe not getting involved- then the drink flows- and i follow- and then ik go on to their parties- and end up meeting all sorts of people- my diary was packed full of fantastic adventures- i swear- and yet i was a lonely person- then i got friendly with a couple of girls- a d that was it- accepted- people probably forgot i started off as the odd girl who didnt know anyone.
those flat mates- theyve probably got their own issues- they are probably jealous of you- o they probably bully you to make their small selves feel a bit better- EVERYONE has issues- dont tink you are the only one. that voluntary thing- ideal well done- great for your CV too- dont let lonelines hold you back- it can happen to anyone at any time- its circumstance more than anything.
i know a friend who runs theatres now and evefything- she started off young- just worming her way into travelling theatres- sometimes youve got to push- but when i pushed myself on people- i did it in a very quiet way- i was no trouble at all.- get some make up on- go out and ave that cover story- so when this nice young man says, "you look lonely are you on your own?" you can say "yeah- was going to meet a friend but their mum isnt very well- jus taken ill right now- its a bit of a bummer having to go home now- i was all ready to go out- im going to sit here for a while" and hell say- come and sit with us on our table. and then maybe you will begin to feel a bit uncomfortable as they all know eachother and have planned this night out- you cant join in their converstaions etc- so then finally you take yourself off- when you get home you will have achieved two things- gained confidence and have gone out- and 2 you will have met someone and talked to a stranger. if you go out in your own make sure you are in the right frame of mind- dont go when you are at your lowest ebb- youll end up looking at everyone else and harbour this illusion that their life is perfect. also when you are on your own smewhere- look confident and at peace- dont stand like a rabbit at the headlights- freaked out and feeling juncomfortable- look chilled- look like you have a right to be there- then you may just attract someone towards you with your chilled out vibes.

good luck and this HIV thing will pay dividends- well done.

i jjst had a thought- some places are better to visit on your own thn others- sitting in a pub on your own not so good- but listening to some music thats good on your own is good- as you have right to egt out and listento music like anyone else- do you sketch? going out sketching is good- do you photograph? you can tell people you do photograph- its your work-lol- you are working towards a futre exhibitiion- how do food and music critics get on? surely tey dont have people with them the whole time. OR you could get a bar job in the weekend evenings- so at least youll be out and about ad saokign a nightclub atmosphere in- i bet if you look stony and cold behind that bar- then yes no one will talk to you- but if you are smiley- chattey- friendly, "alright mate? what can i get you t drink then"- try it- think confident then you will be it- its all illusion - then youll get a bit of banter going at least- busy stone cold bar people are miserable and you tink- why are you doing this job then? when in reality probably the same reason as you! so they aint stuck in on a satuday night!

im going to stop waffling now- i swear spend way too much time helping . i should be helping myself!

I go out alone a lot because of my ilness dont
know lots of people but when i do go out you tend to meet others its so not weid to go out on your own.

I actually enjoy very much going to the movies all by myself. In fact, sometimes in group situations I end up watching a movie I don't care for.

I used to go out alone too. Right now I can't even afford going out as I'm, broke, but sometimes is good, even healthy, to "socialize with myself".

Hello, I know the feeling of being alone & wanting to go out with someone else to do things like movies or just to hang out. I don't really have any friends to go do things with so I pretty much don't do anything with anyone except for this guy I'm seeing on the weekends, but we don't really go out & do anything except go by the Red Box to rent a movie & maybe grab a bite to eat, but we mainly stay at my place. Most of the movies that he brings over suck with a capital S & he ends up falling asleep during the movie which leaves me stuck watching it alone. I've always wanted to have someone to hang out with & do things with, but that's always been difficult to find someone who enjoys the same things as me, I guess everybody's different, if you lived in my town I'd more than welcome you to hang with me & we could do things together, but since you live elsewhere I can't do you much good, I can be your friend online though.