i don't think its a case of people not wanting to pull you out and more a case of them not wanting to get pulled in with you i would think. i myself made that mistake recently (caring for someone i caught crying) and ended up all messed up again bringing their problems into my life. there is also a big case of the boy who cried wolf going on in society. some people cry for the drama or tell everyone they're going to kill themselves for attention. people sort of become desensitized after too much of that and the person that is crying because they're genuinely sad or writing their real suicide note get ignored. even in your post, you don't mention a single problem people can provide support for. the post reads like you're just upset because people aren't paying attention to an attention gathering act. am i being unfair?

why don't we talk about what makes you cry in public instead?

People just don't want to get involved. Happy people want to stay happy. Sad people have their own problems.

Being a Good Samaritan has its repercussions in today's world. How many times do we hear in the news where the Good Samaritan was hurt for getting involved? People peek out from their windows at the woman being raped or the homeless man being knifed. People walk by a body laying on the street.

You could try to find a support group where you live. Public displays of emotion will probably make people wonder if you have a husband around the corner with a gun looking for you.

There are too many crazy things that happen and it is not you that people avoid it is the possibility of being harmed themselves. Don't take it personally. People here will console you when you need a shoulder to cry on. Hugs

I sometimes feel as if standing in front of my family and friends and crying would be the only way of letting them know how much I am struggling. So I continue to largely suffer in silence.

@cagedDreams You make an excellent point there. For me I don't like to cry in public for attention, I often try to find a secluded area were I can cry but sometimes the tears just come out and I can't control it. A problem is voicing how I feel to others with my words. When I was little crying was discouraged because it was seen as a weakness. I would get hit with a belt or hard brush and parent would yell at me to stop crying. My mother has even laughed at me twice for crying and told me to go kill myself. So, at around elementary school I started to stuff my emotions my family and from others because I felt like I can't rely on anyone to bring me back. I cry for legitimate reasons (when someone dies, when someone else is sad, tragic new stories) but I'm often told by my parents that I'm too sensitive and they use that to make fun of me. I hope this explains my situation a little bit.

@Blondie61 Now that you put it that way it does make more sense why some people tend to avoid distressed people. If you see stranger who is all alone who looks upset you don't know if you should approach them or not. They may be sad about a family death, a break up or a variety of things; they may also be faking their tears just to get some attention. I like that you bring up your perspective because it gives me a better view on why people (good Samaritans or not) would stand by when they witness rape or gang violence; they want protect themselves from getting involve, which doesn't make them a bad person.

@SteveP1 I can relate to suffering in silence. I don't like bothering people with my problems so I often vent in my bedroom or in the bathroom. I'd say that it is important to have at least one person you can talk to so that you are not alone with your negative emotions.

I only cry when I am alone!

Please don't take it personally when people don't respond to your crying. Most of the time, people just don't know what to do or say in a situation like that. They don't know if you are going to be offended and tell them to mind their own business, or they honestly don't have the skills to know the right thing to say. Please don't let it upset you. If it was family or friends who did this, that would be a different story, but complete strangers? That is just human nature and it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. Hugs Gramybear

The tone of Grammybear is good. . :)
!

yes, people do not know how to let others cry. Crying is not a bad thing. It is a releasing healing process. The rain is tears from heaven and people don't always like it when it rains. People are becoming more and more robotic and less and less human (I think). I say cry, cry all you want. Stomp your feet, punch a pillow and release whatever you are holding inside. Sometimes tears is the only way to let go of the pain. People don't always know how to respond to a person when they are crying. They want to help, they want to offer advise, they want to help a person to stop crying when sometimes all we want to do is cry. And it is okay to need to cry for no reason. One just has to turn on the news to see endless reasons to cry.

I agree, people feel uncomfortable with tears, not sure why .. I have my ideas, not good ones .... robots is the first thought that comes to mind. I would like my family to live a day in my life and see if they don't feel like crying ...

Hi again. I just wanted to check on you and see if the posts regarding your question helped you to see that it's not about you at all? People are in their own worlds, trying to deal with their own problems, and they forget that people standing right in front of them are in pain and could use a smile or a hug. I have lots of them for you right now... I can't smile really :-) except one of those but I can give you lots of hugs! ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Big Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Gramybear

Hey I know what you mean about crying alone. I usually cry at home and when I'm by myself. I don't like ppl to see me get all emotional. I used to think that I should cover up my negative feelings so I wouldn't be a bother to others. There have been times when I tried to act like I had it all together, but really I was crumbling up on the inside. There were times when I didn't want to hang around my friends because I was feeling so down. Now I'm slowly learning to open up to others, realizing no one is perfect & everyone has ups and downs. You're not in this fight alone! You'll have good days & bad days. We just got to endure hurt sometimes. Stay encouraged!

Most of us were taught to "stuff" our emotions, punished for crying, etc. when we were children. And we were also taught, "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone." It's a hard world out there and everyone is wrapped up in their own pain. Some people look down on those who cry in public. I'm sorry not to be more encouraging, but that's how it is. I befriended a woman who kept telling me how lonely she was. She ended up calling me EIGHT TIMES A DAY. A glutton for punishment, I befriended another woman who told me she wanted to kill herself. She also became an albatross around my neck. I'm a compassionate person by nature, but I can't be everyone's therapist.

Thank you all for the wonderful comments. ! I'm still learning how to not take things personally when people ignore me when I'm upset. I feel a lot better knowing that people have their struggles that they must deal within themselves and not necessarily that they don't want to interact with someone who is distressed. I believe the main reason why I've been having these crying sessions out of nowhere is because my inner child really wished that my parents would have been more considerate towards my feelings. I wished I was given permission to express my emotions rather than have to stifle them.