Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
About 3 months ago, a friend of mine that invited me to do things with him alot, let's call him Vince, had a fight with his girlfriend due to his girlfriend wanting to see other people. As a result, they decided to have an open relationship, and Vince only spent time with her and forgot about spending time with me and other friends.
About 2 months ago, in an effort to fight off my depression and loneliness, I decided to tell a girl that I've been interested in for a while, let's call her Kat, my true feelings for her. For a certain reason, Vince was opposed to me starting a relationship with Kat. Well, Kat didn't want a relationship anyway. I kept messaging her because I'm an awkward and in love asshole. That caused both Kat and Vince to stop talking to me for a while.
A day after Christmas, I apologized to Kat for how I've been treating her. She accepted my apology, and we are now talking as friends again, as long as I don't push the friendship. She just doesn't want a relationship right now. We are talking a little bit every day, and I really enjoy talking to her.
The problem is and has always been my feelings. I feel like I need to talk to Kat alot more than she needs to talk to me. She says that she is busy alot, but she is often just hanging out with her friends. She says that she is only interested in important things and doesn't want affection right now.
I was feeling pretty upset that Vince still wasn't talking to me. He went to hang out with other people and still wasn't inviting me to stuff. He blocked me on his blog. I didn't know what to say to him, so I decided to cut him off. I didn't want to put forth the effort to regain a friendship with someone who no longer respected me.
I set up hanging out with a few of my friends (other than Vince or Kat) yesterday. It was the first time I hung out with anyone for months. Well someone invited Vince without my knowledge. We all got along fine, and we just played video games. I actually felt pretty bad afterward because we didn't discuss ANYTHING but the games, and I had to leave somewhat early, and no one said goodbye to me.
This morning I decided to bite the bullet and tell Vince that I want to be his friend again, but I want his respect too. I told him that I apologized to Kat, and we are friends again. He doesn't seem mad at me anymore, but I sent him another friend request on Facebook, and he didn't accept it. He didn't unblock me on his blog either.
I'm just tired of feeling like I need other people more than people need me. I want to improve myself and be more interesting, but I am so lonely most of the time.
About 2 months ago, in an effort to fight off my depression and loneliness, I decided to tell a girl that I've been interested in for a while, let's call her Kat, my true feelings for her. For a certain reason, Vince was opposed to me starting a relationship with Kat. Well, Kat didn't want a relationship anyway. I kept messaging her because I'm an awkward and in love asshole. That caused both Kat and Vince to stop talking to me for a while.
A day after Christmas, I apologized to Kat for how I've been treating her. She accepted my apology, and we are now talking as friends again, as long as I don't push the friendship. She just doesn't want a relationship right now. We are talking a little bit every day, and I really enjoy talking to her.
The problem is and has always been my feelings. I feel like I need to talk to Kat alot more than she needs to talk to me. She says that she is busy alot, but she is often just hanging out with her friends. She says that she is only interested in important things and doesn't want affection right now.
I was feeling pretty upset that Vince still wasn't talking to me. He went to hang out with other people and still wasn't inviting me to stuff. He blocked me on his blog. I didn't know what to say to him, so I decided to cut him off. I didn't want to put forth the effort to regain a friendship with someone who no longer respected me.
I set up hanging out with a few of my friends (other than Vince or Kat) yesterday. It was the first time I hung out with anyone for months. Well someone invited Vince without my knowledge. We all got along fine, and we just played video games. I actually felt pretty bad afterward because we didn't discuss ANYTHING but the games, and I had to leave somewhat early, and no one said goodbye to me.
This morning I decided to bite the bullet and tell Vince that I want to be his friend again, but I want his respect too. I told him that I apologized to Kat, and we are friends again. He doesn't seem mad at me anymore, but I sent him another friend request on Facebook, and he didn't accept it. He didn't unblock me on his blog either.
I'm just tired of feeling like I need other people more than people need me. I want to improve myself and be more interesting, but I am so lonely most of the time.
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Papa John's, Pizza Hut, Little Caesar's, or Domino's?
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Ketchup or Mustard?*You can’t say both (or neither), or add stipulations, or make substitutions- just commit and pick one of the two choices!
I just hate my feelings most of the time. I mean, I went to a therapist last week, and she said that it makes sense for me to feel depressed because that makes me want to improve my life. But I don't understand why I have to care so much about relationships with people that don't care as much for me.
My emotions have mostly gotten in the way during my life. I was often unable to focus on my schoolwork because I was too sad or feeling lonely. My problems with anxiety have prevented me from getting good grades on speaking assignments and it has always prevented me from making good first impressions. I get obsessive about a select few girls at a time that have little to no interest in me.
I wish I had switches in my head to like go robot mode when working on schoolwork or happy mode when being social.
It sounds like your friends take you for granted. I am not saying that you have to talk to them everyday but I do think a good friendship requires at least talking to each other every few days.
Sigh. I find that people are just like kids. When kids get new toys, they play with them for a little while and when they get bored with them, they toss them to the side until they feel like playing with them again. I refuse and encourage you two to not be those "toys".
Well no DUH dude I would stop talking to you too if you were being creepy like that. Constantly bugging people doesn't make them want to be your friend, it only shoves them away.
" I feel like I need to talk to Kat alot more than she needs to talk to me. She says that she is busy alot, but she is often just hanging out with her friends."
Okay wtf she has other friends that are important to her, accept it and move on, No one owes you their time, especially not a woman that you happen to have a boner for.
It sounds to me like you need to be happier with yourself, because no matter how many people you surround yourself with, if you aren't happy with yourself, then you are going to feel hollow.
Fuusheegii. Yeah, I apologized for bugging her to much, and am no longer acting like that. It's easy for you to say I "happen to have a boner" for her without knowing anything about how I feel. Yeah, I have a neediness problem, and that's why I am asking for help.
I've been working on being happy for myself for a while now. The problem is that some of my friends seem to actually be pushing me away due to my depression, which leaves me lonelier and sadder.
Wow, this really hit a nerve with me. As someone who also struggles with anxiety I can only applaud you for being open about your feelings for Kat, and then dealing with her rejection. That cant have been easy, and the fact that you apologised and are now talking to her is in my mind testimony that you really are not a creep.
I get the whole needing others more than they need you thing. I guess its more awkward and difficult for anxious people to make friends in the first place and establish trust. The few friendships that develop over time are then of course something to be focused on frequently. But if these friends have a much bigger and broader circle of friends, chances are that they just dont have the capacity to reciprocate this attention to the same extent or depth.
I wonder sometimes if anxious or needy people are just better of befriending other anxious or needy people because they would be more likely to spend the time and effort on each other, making each other less anxious and needy in the process. I know that for me a big issue is to know that there is someone I can reach out to, and it doesnt need to be in person or require much attention. As long as I can make contact, and they make contact back, I dont really care what form this takes. Maybe figuring out what exactly you expect from your friends, and why, is an important step for you to feel more comfortable. Maybe you can stretch out your need for contact or meaningful interaction across a number of people, perhaps even from the forum, and as such stay content throughout the day? Just a thought
Finally, I dont think it is a matter of becoming more interesting. Youre plenty interesting. You just need to find friends who recognise this.
lowtidebeach, I get what you are saying, and I somewhat relate to that. As a child, I think I got enough love from my parents. They've always treated me well, gave me hugs, birthday presents, etc.
One thing I noticed as I got older however, is that they weren't loving much at all to eachother. At least they weren't conventionally loving with dates, kissing, etc. I've only ever seen them kiss once. That might have an influence on why I have trouble starting relationships
I've also never actually been in a relationship myself, despite having feelings for girls often since I was a teenager. I've always had problems with social anxiety, especially around women I like.