I've gone to those before and I've had good and so/so experiences. I've sometimes felt intimidated because I've found that many of the people know each other already, and I felt like groups had already been formed. Plus, I tend to be an introvert which doesn't help. But, it depends on the night. I kept trying and eventually I met some cool people. Try mixing it up. I tried a girls group, as well as a book club and a hiking group.

I went to play volleyball with a meetup group. All I got out of it was told I was not a good enough player, most there were the local high school team getting in extra practice with their dad's meetup group. It was a set up to give these dids an unscheduled practice. No one cared to meet and most were rude that I had come to play a casual game with potential friends. So much for meetup.com.

yeah I got invited into a moms club full of moms I don't know. My kids are social butterflies and I picture my kids doing what they always do grabbing my hand and saying here mama say somthing talk to people this is my friends mom and so on. They are so sweet but I am just speachless around people sometimes and so scared to talk I just want to wach from the outside first and make sure they are safe and then start making friends. I think the only thing you can do for this is to push yourself to go little bit at a time. I have been pushing myself to make friends with people around my comunity but I probaly wont go to the mom club currrently as I need a break from humans. Humans are scary creatures sometimes. I hope this helps more then not.

Thanks for your good reply here Mamoth. Looking first, and seeing who one might be interested in talking to is wise.

When a youngster of your's pushes you into an introduction, you can apolologize for him or her. To then graciously excuse yourself -- and say to not take your kid seriously. LOL

OTOH it seems your children have your best interests at heart. You might work out with them: sometimes an introduction you *might* be interested in having. (Pointing subtly.) But they have to be smart enough to know the added difficulties of arrainged introductions. :(

Again, your reply I think very level-headed :)

I assume some MeetUps are virtually closed; they don't say so, but they are advertized for a reason other than wanting new members. New members out of the blue.

I assume also that some groups are basically nice, and others run by clique-leaders.

A first visit I'd regard as just a reconnaissance I wouldn't go if I was feeling expecially thin-skinned and in fragile mood. I don't care if a MeetUp pretends to be about Buddhism and inner peace, pfft -- you know *lots* more about ppl after you've been around 'em a few minutes.

Further observation: after a couple visits, a MeetUp may still be hiding its true nature. Don't pledge loyalty when in doubt; but rather remain doubtful.
/ best of luck :) ! !