Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
Story time be warned it may give you a sense of helplessness and possible even feel Jaded wait that is me that is why I am called Jade Draco I am completely jaded and I like dragons probable the only unreal creatures I can relate to untouchable, vicious ,don't trust humans, Anyway let's begin
I dated a man a man I had a huge crush on it wasn't even a date it was suppose to be a date. He asked me out this guy is 37 and he only asked me out to get to my nineteen year old niece. This was years ago when I worked for a bar called Hattricks. That is the worst feeling in the world when someone you like doesn't like you. and as the years went by there was always guys I liked but they never liked me. .well they did but not for love just for the moment just for the sex. after that it was like they disappeared. Even now years and years have passed and I always carried around with me my own personal demon saying "Your never going to have anyone to love no one will ever love you they will only use you for sex and then they wont have nothing else to do with you" I carry that around and the thought of it even now brings tears to my eyes doesn't help to be a empath basically it means I can feel a lot of people's feelings and animals to to a weaker extent. A commercial comes on especially the animal ASPCA commercials a old elderly person commercial where the old guy is taking care of his older wife who has dementia and she don't recognize him. fuck hear comes the tears. hate it it is like a curse sometimes. I think I was happy once in love once. It wasn't with my ex though the one I married. with him even when we first got together I was older then this guy by eight years he was twenty one . He told me he could never love me he could never love any one wow nice hmm but he had serious problems thanks to his mom and his very abusive step dad. He was my first very very first I know i was a late late bloomer . Before all I did all the other guys wanted from me was oral sex Most were second dates or thirds ,but there were two men who I fooled around on the first date never heard from them again obviously. My life was fucked I was bullied never had real friends except when I was a teenager, and it didn't last long. I felt unloved I felt unworthy I had daddy issues like all girls my dad was loud and yelled a lot and slightly abusive he loved the belt. and with that kind of upbringing I just felt unworthy of love, affection and the stupid guys I dated or had messed with strengthen that belief. The one guy I think I fell in love with almost fell in love with it felt like love...he was before all the other guys except with one exception which he will remain nameless but will talk about him later. His name was Sam I still feel a pain every time I mention his name. We had first date second date the second date was amazing it was on the fourth of July and we went to Venice Beach fl don't remember where we ate but I remember the date flowers and nice compliments and sincerity ,fire works live and other wise. after that date I was going to surprise him at a motel this was weeks later he was doing some work in town and I was there with flowers dressed and ready for I don't know maybe more then a date ..nowhere to be found he wasn't at the hotel he told me he was at. I left disappointed. I tried calling him texting him ..all manners of communication when I finally got a hold of him not him his father and he told me Sam was getting married in two days . Imagine how I felt . Remember the guy who wanted to date my niece.. same exact feeling devastating loveless ,not worthy of love so THAT is why I feel when I talk to any guy there just going to do the same thing. there is more guys who hurt me, but you get the drift. GUYS->and how they feel about me Luke warm almost like wallpaper its cute and maybe a little fun but not love material not marriage material but hey I can get my rocks off for a night an move on. story of my life . I am hoping new city new state maybe maybe the fates will finally shine on me and let me trust a guy again and maybe they will get me maybe they will love me finally maybe one guy in the whole fucking universe will like me maybe even love me>???. If not and things go bad as usual love wise I might just walk out in the desert and live with the coyotes and earth spirits and never show my face in polite society again because then I know there is no man on earth that will ever love me. I started out in a good mood ,and talking to people hear and there guys who think there interested in me right now has brought all the shit in the past with other men up to the surface. what was I even thinking guys are not interested in me why would they be? They rejected me before why not now what has changed nothing . I just expect the same thing with ever guy I meet and makes the mistake of thinking they like me . yes right they will find out just like everyone else that I am just not worthy.
you are so correct most guys are in it for sex, hit it and get it. most guys can use a few words and have nothing invested and leave feeling no remorse.
most if not all of those type of guys are damaged, hurt, weak, and not willing to work on themselves.
When you keep yourself in the highest regard then men will see you as an equal, keeping your trust in your self morals makes you equal to them.
Not giving your gift that God gave you away to any man for a moment of relief allows you to have value in yourself. Allows you to trust yourself, listen to your needs and respect. You can not change men, but you can change who and when you gift your gift away.
Every time you give it away to a user, abuse, or fly by night person, they take a piece of your soul away.
heal yourself, love yourself, enjoy your singleness, because once you are in love with yourself and respect yourself and trust yourself God will put the right Man in your life.