Yo! Mama... so stupid she worked at an m&m factory and threw out all the W's.

Love this one!

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie into it.

Hope this helps. =D

-Y

two gay guys live together(mark n jason) but marks in the closet although he's mom thinks he's gay. So one day a couple weeks after the mom has come over for dinner jason tells mark"im not trying 2 say anything bad about your mom but i think she took the frying pan" mark tells him"i dont think she did but i'll send her an email" and in the email he writes
Dear Mom i'm not saying you took the frying pan and im not saying you didnt but ever since you came for dinner we cant find the frying pan. love Mark
the next day he gets a reply
Dear Mark im not saying you sleep with jason and im not saying you do not but if jason were sleeping in his own bed he would have found the frying pan. Love Mom

There's a bus full of ugly people. Not a single person on the bus had ever had anyone attracted to them. The bus driver makes a mistake and runs head on into an oncoming truck. Everyone dies and goes to heaven.
Well, God feels sorry for them all, and decides to grant them each one wish before they enter paradise. So they're in a big line in front of the gates, and he asks the first one what their wish is. After a few seconds, she says: "I want to be gorgeous." Now the next person hears this, and starts freaking out. He thinks it's the greatest thing ever, and wishes to be handsome. This continues on, everyone wishing to be beautiful, handsome etc, until the line is about half gone. Then the guy at the end starts laughing, and God casts an eye at him, thinking: WTF?, but does nothing about it, and lets the same wish continue on.
Now, when there's about 10 left, the guy is going nuts. He's rolling around on the clouds laughing as hard as possible, and God is just wondering what's going on. So he finally gets to the guy, and asks what his wish is. The guy calms down, stands up, and says: "Make 'em all ugly again."

The last one made me laugh out loud.

A woman carrying her baby bumped into a man as she was entering a doorway, the man turned and said "Man that's got to be the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman was flustered and another man entered the door and asked why she was so mad, she said, "I can't believe the nerve of some people! I have half a mind to go tell that man off for being so rude." The man says "You're right, go tell him off! I'll hold your monkey."

I got to remember my whole joke book...I forgot them all...hugs

What do you call a frozen lesbian?
A klondike.

First I want to say that Jon's bus joke was awesome I even told it to my son and he cracked up so let me add one that I always got a kick out of and I hope everyone gets a laugh and nobody gets offended..

The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, while visiting a primary school class, found themselves in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy". So the illustrious Rev. Jackson asks the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."

No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy"

I'm afraid not," explains the exalted Reverend Al. "That's what we would call a great loss." The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.

Reverend Al searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand. In a stern voice he says: "If a plane carrying the Reverends Jackson and Sharpton were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."

Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson and Sharpton, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says little Johnny, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either!"

Two blondes were in a bar watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge that was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said Betty.

"Bet you $10 he won't," replied Amber. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second blonde hands the first her money.

"I can't take your money," said Betty. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news."

"No, no. Take it," said Amber. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"